Reality is that I would end up picking up the slack since I have good income and I have substantial assets and he has limited assets and a very modest income.
Don't know why you're calling this gaslighting.
That would be if he were telling you something right in front of your faces wasn't there, or happening.
Reality is what I quoted you as saying above.
If you're the one with the good income, and substantial assests, why are you letting someone who lives in a fantasy, makes little money and has no assests take on the control of making the move to bring up marriage?
"He proposed marriage to me!"
This person who won't carry his share of financial responsibility, doesn't pay his rent on time (you know as well as I do he doesn't. If he did, he would have just said he does), who is pushy, manipulative and more, gets to make the grand gesture of asking you to marry, and get your heart all a flutter.
What exactly would you gain by being married?
You'd still be paying the bills, living with someone who pouts when he doesn't get his way, but will now, unless you write a prenup (which I'm sure would send him into a major fit) may, depending on where you live, be owner of half your stuff.
But....but...he said he was going to change!
You don't believe that, neither does he.
How exactly will the quality of your life be enhanced by him living in the same space?
Are you intending to keep separate bank accounts? Keep your assets away from his ability to access them?
I think you already knew all this, but needed to hear someone else say it.