Good Girls & Bad Boys

Okay, thats valid. But sometimes you must give fate a little nudge.

It is possible he likes you but doesn't think you like him. Probably if it wasn't shyness, he was holding back due to the teacher-st. thing, which of course is good.

Well, I'm not going to go on and on about it.

But I will say this: Sometimes if you see something you really want or a guy you really like, you have to make it painfully obvious to them. Guys aren't big on subtle hints as much as girls.

If he was BSing you in office about non-school stuff more than he needed to, I think there's a strong chance he liked you, actually. I've been there. You get so busy usually doing that crap, you don't BS someone in the office unless you like them. There's a million other things to do...

***

eh, you got time though. no rush I guess. Do guys hit on you much at school?

I've had a few (ok, a lot) but I was never interested in any of them - I don't know why really. One of them (currently) is very good looking (very very very good looking) but I am not interested, he's nice and very polite but not the intellectual kind.

The other's only had their looks. That was it. Boring...

But I can say I never gave them any hope at all - didn't look at them, didn't talk to them. Some persistant ones (eg: kept trying to get physically close to me) I would just walk away and they got the message.

There's another one that's freaking the heck out of me...don't know if I should say why...I might get called a freak myself.

Well above you joked that you're not sure about my mental speed, so...

Hey! No fair, you can't do that!

I promise I won't call you a freak. I've done a lot of freaky trips...

spill it! :wink:

Obviously your typing speed is up to speed.

LOL! Well, at least I got that goin for me...you are heartless after all.

So why is this guy freaking you out? Maybe it would help to discuss? Plus now you got me curious with that teaser line above...if you don't tell it, it would again be heartless.

I think I know you a little now: Very kind and nice first couple minutes, then the tough one comes out! ?

Very much so!! you've got me in a nutshell there.

Re the guy - ok, he's way older than me (in his fourties) and he's got a defacto. He works where I work (does the shift before me and is one of the substantial reasons why I hate my job) and about a year ago, I had to keep going there to look up cases and all (I was a study freak back then.) For some stupid stupid stupid reason, we would always bump into each other - eg: I would turn a corner to another shelf in the library and there he was. I would be looking for a book and there he was. It got to the point where it was so strange that we recognised each other and almost expected it to happen (I expected it, but didn't like it.) And then he started to take notice of me - trying to talk to me, smiling etc. I didn't like it at all - he was a creep. I tried being polite and would smile back (not suggestively, just like the way a stranger would smile to another if their eyes met) but he took it on and has always been trying to get my attn whenever I am at the library now - if he sees me at one section, he would go over there and cough, or murmour, trying to get me to look his way. I just walked off.

He got the idea anyway, and now, instead of backing of, he has resorted to even grosser means - whenever he sees me, he moves his eyes up and down me, almost leering, really. Its sickening but I can't complain of sexual harrassment or anything, frankly because what he has done is not extreme - it just so happens that I dislike it instensly.

I don't know...maybe its just me being paranoid? Or what?

This guy is a total creep!

You are doing nothing wrong.

thinking...(perhaps others here will have ideas how to deal with this creep too)...thinking...

He is like a co-worker with you at this place now?

Actually, my supervisor tells me everyon working there thinks he is a creep, otherwise very weird in temper. Can't take a joke - lets say my supervisor says "Geez, its still so untidy on the top level of the library", in a joking voice, I'm guessing the average person would laugh or something.

Not him. He reacts: "what do you mean? Are you accusing me of doing a bad job?" very very angry man at times.

How's your relationship with your manager or supervisor at work? Can you tell them to talk to him? Doesn't have to be accusing of s. harrassment at this point, just telling them the situation might help.

How about another male co-worker that you might be friends with?

I mean, I've had female friends (not girlfriends) who were being bothered by guys in different ways, like this, and a couple times they asked me to go talk to some dude, and it worked well. Not saying this is 100%, but I've seen it work.

Maybe the culture is different too though, and depends on just how creepy he is. But a few times when someone asked, I just went up and told the dude "Hey, lay off her dude, you're making her uncomfortable, blah blah blah." In a totally non-threatening way.

This has to be done carefully though. First step I'd take is contact someone you trust and feel comfortable with at work. Is there someone at work like that?

I also want to say stuff like just ignore the creep, don't smile anymore, if you see him coming, avoid him, etc...but I'm not a girl--ladies, does this technique work?

hmmm....brainstorming...

hmmm...the fact that everyone sees him as a creep both helps your cause and makes it a bit....different.

I mean on the one hand, its good that he's a "known creep" cause supervisors will be faster to side with you probably.

But, if he's ultra creepy, well...yeah...he sounds angry...
damn. irritating. Right off the top of my head I feel like going and talking to the creep right now!

But anyway: What do you think about telling the sup. exactly what you told me?

hey, its cool of you to give me these hints. I'm lucky in a way: now I don't need to go to the lib so much and when I start work, he's gone. I think it was when it was first occurring that the whole situation was creeping me out, because I've not been in such circumstances before.

Thanks

Yeah...one thing I'd do is no smiling, no chit chat whatsoever, nothing like that...that discourages some creeps right there...

Like as soon as you see him, turn away if possible, go somewhere else, whatever...that can be pretty effective. No chit chat or nice smiling. Can't be too nice to this guy...he'll take it as you like him or he's making progress or something...

Do you think he's capable of violence (sorry to ask, but damn ...this world)

He's actually pretty cruel to his de facto (or at least this is the impression my supervisor had when she was telling me about him but she didn't say why. I didn't ask cos I got the idea that she didn't want to say why.)

Who gives a sh**. Not me. I keep thinking that as soon as I graduate (in 1 and 1/2 years time, I'll be outta there and in... Europe? America?

anywhere but in Queensland. *sigh*

yeahh....*most* creeps are rather harmless actually, I mean when someone comes along and truly challenges them, they crumble and take their creepiness somewhere else.

BUT, if you have reason to think this creep is abusing the defacto or whatever, I'd keep an eye on that...

do you think he goes as far as to physically do things to defacto?

Uhhh...I don't know him that well, only to the extent that he is the idiot i told you about.

But the funny thing is - his defacto is an asian woman! Now I can understand asians wanting a westerner (haven't we worn out that path??? ) but he is the ultimate idiot. I wonder if she is only with him for reasons of migration or money, more than anything else... <tapping the nose>

yeah...creep

I bet some of the women on here could give you good advice. I gave the guy's point of view.

Some of these women on here sound like they're probably pros at getting rid of creeps. Most any woman probably has to use this skill at some point.

Ha! I'll have to google that: "how to get rid of a creeeeep"

I am looking forward to that thread, Prag!

Well there's one good use of a Bad BF, right? sic 'em on the creep!