Good Girls & Bad Boys

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Why do women like guys who are straight up jerks? Almost mean playas?

Ever since I took the attitude that I really don't give a *uck about the women I date, it seems like they come on to me all the time. When I was nice, I got nothing!

I grew up in an area where its hammered home that "women are your equals, you treat them with respect, they can do anything a man can do, treat them very well, etc etc".

I think I tried pretty hard to be like that, the really nice guy who talks politely to girls, treats them so well, etc etc. I didn't have very good luck with women when I was like that. Oh not a desert, but it was not really happening that much.

Then a few things happened. I think I got burned by a few wild women. And I started to adopt this "screw 'em" attitude. I'd almost purposely be a little rude and obnoxious and careless around 'em and about 'em. Didn't give a damn.

And you know what? The girls pretty much swarm when I am like that.

Why are women attracted to an idiot jerk who really doesn't give a damn, but not that attracted to this "nice polite gentleman" they all say they want?

Why the hell do women want to be with a guy that will treat them like hell?

I am not making this up. I see this every week in my life. Like clockwork. Ironic illogical, but magic.

I started out nice--and they're training me to be pretty much a male chauvinist jerk to them! They like that! For all their talk, they don't like mr. polite. What is that?

They won't give me the time of day when I'm nice. They're training me to be an ass. I get rewarded for being more of a loud stupid jerk...

Why do women like the bad ass jerk?

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Most girls go through a "bad boy" phase, where they date at least a few (or just one, in a case like mine, so I didn't date often anyway Razz

) bad boys just to get it out of their system.

Eventually, most grow up and learn to find good guys, and to stay with them... which is why many good guys are husbands, instead of single Wink

some girls out there want a good guy, just look more. Wink

maybe it's the type of women you've been seeking?

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yeah, you have several points.

I guess I have a weakness for sexy things....and a lot of times they bring a lot of dark stuff with them.

I guess I need to find the "goodish" girls who can also be thrilling...

Thats a tough combination. But its there...

Still, isn't human nature interesting? If a guy is too nice, a lot of times he has a hard time finding dates. Hmmmm.....thinking of this, the reverse is kind of the same.

If a guy that has a girl that is just syruppy ultra sweet all the time, that might get old..

An edge is good I guess.

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I'll add this though--

Even though you have points about the "type of women"---

I swear even the really nice girls like it when I'm a bit more careless about them. Don't call exactly when I say, a little bit late here and there, don't really listen to what they're saying sometimes, treating them unimportant...they never admit it, but I swear it seems it thrills them....

If you're always on time, attentive, treat them so good all the time, it seems even the pretty nice ones end up not really liking it that much....

interesting

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i've found out that you must never be too nice to a girl when you first meet them. You got to sweat confidence and jerks most often are the only ones that do. You can also be nice and act like a gentleman with mad confidence. That's really hard to pull off though. most girls expect to play games. I just play to get my foot in the door. Eventually if you are a nice guy it'll come out in your conversations.

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I guess it is an extra thrill to get attention out of a jerk. When you have something for sure you would never want it to desperation. As long as they don't have your attention, they would crave to get it.. more so if you have the looks to match your attitude. The thrill is really important for girls who are in the earlier years of dating, without the idea whether it is right or wrong. It is not something they would do intentionally either. After this few learn from experience that jerks are no good, they need a gentleman to spend the life with.

More than the jerk thing, girls get really taken on by the confidence in a guy. Treat them good but don't kiss their ass. Be polite with an aloofness. Have an air of superiority.. you will find that the girls cannot resist you.

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Yeah when i was younger....i really liked the bad boys....but i liked the bad boys who were confident, and had a leader attitude around their buddies, but were gentlemen around me. The guys that were all around jerks didn't last long with me. Now that i am older, my best and lasting relationship is with my all around nice guy. After i had grown up, and figured out the world didn't revolve around me, and i chose an equally aware partner. Someone who considers the feelings of others, and has empathy.

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I shake my head whenever I see a guy talking in a little bitch voice to his girl friend and then he talks to everybody else in his regular voice. Some guys have no balls.

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I shake my head whenever I see a guy talking in a little bitch voice to his girl friend and then he talks to everybody else in his regular voice. Some guys have no balls.

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.:Aurora Dark:. wrote:

Most girls go through a "bad boy" phase, where they date at least a few (or just one, in a case like mine, so I didn't date often anyway ) bad boys just to get it out of their system.

Eventually, most grow up and learn to find good guys, and to stay with them... which is why many good guys are husbands, instead of single

some girls out there want a good guy, just look more. maybe it's the type of women you've been seeking?

Yup, the "ooo, he's so bad he's sexy" phase. The rebellion against all society standards and what your parents taught you. The "screw everything I THOUGHT I wanted in a mate" phase. But, you grow out of it.

Nice guys do finish last but guess who's waiting at the finish line? :wink:

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most women, myself included at a younger age, want to be the one to tame the bad boy. kinda like sandy in Grease. Danny loved her enough to change. but, once we grow up and mature, we realize that its the nice guys who really count. my brother was the ultimate nice guy, first date, took ladies to the beach, cooler with pic-nic and nice bottle of wine...called when he said he would...they blew him off. however, a little later in life, he met an older woman (only by about 2 years) but someone who appreciated a nice guy and they got married.

we all chase the bad boy for a while trying to be the "one" to change him, and some still do it-those masochistic women Wink

kinda like in X-men 2 she says, we all flirt with the bad guy, but i married a good guy. so in order to attract women, the bad boy thing will work for a while, but once you have the one you actually want-change for her and she will love you forever (hopefully).

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LoveMyFamily wrote:

I guess it is an extra thrill to get attention out of a jerk. When you have something for sure you would never want it to desperation. As long as they don't have your attention, they would crave to get it.. more so if you have the looks to match your attitude. The thrill is really important for girls who are in the earlier years of dating, without the idea whether it is right or wrong. It is not something they would do intentionally either. After this few learn from experience that jerks are no good, they need a gentleman to spend the life with.

More than the jerk thing, girls get really taken on by the confidence in a guy. Treat them good but don't kiss their ass. Be polite with an aloofness. Have an air of superiority.. you will find that the girls cannot resist you.

Thanks for all the responses everyone...great stuff.

LMF,

You're the only one where I couldn't tell if you are a male or female? Interesting. Wondering if your perspective comes from a man or woman?

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extramedium, I am a woman. Sorry to keep you wondering.

Just to tell you about my experiences..

I would also get attracted to jerk sometimes. But somewhere it was very clear that I would never want to date them. Jerks are not predictable enough and I felt I would be very insecured if ever I dated them.

So finally I dated and married a guy 5 years older to me.. extreme gentleman, very honest and with whom I was confident of my relationship and of course very predictable Smile

We are happily married for 9 years now with a kid.

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I don't think it's so much of a "phase," but like mentioned, women are attracted to confidence and someone who isn't going to kiss their ass.

An attractive woman gets her ass kissed by guys constantly: compliments, free drinks, dinner, attention. To them it's second nature. When they come across a guy who poses a challenge, and pushes the right buttons, they're attracted.

When you're overbearing with phone calls, compliments, ect., you just come across as boring and it's obvious you're trying to win her over.

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ok, now how's it work with the not so attractive women?

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Actually i think attractive women who go after men that might be out of their league, do it for their ego:P not because they are more attracted to the confidence, and don't want someone to kiss their ass.I think they are more intrested in trying to change them into perfect partners.
I wasn't considered unattractive growing up....and as i stated in my post...i did appretiate the cofidence in the man, but i wouldn't tolerate him being a jerk to me.
The # one arguement in my younger days was the way i was treated.
Like being stood up, for buddies.
Not being considerate of my feelings.
Or the fact that the guy wanted everything his way, or the highway.
The bad boys may be able to get women, but as far as keeping a woman, thats laughable.
As women get older, most grow to realize that its impossible to change ppl who don't want to change.
So instead of looking for the bad boy, they look for men who share common interest, have confidence,
and will be good providers.
But there are women who will forego love, and just be with someone who will profide for them.
Thats usually the very attractive women, who never learned you can't change a person.
Because to them, if they don't change for you, then they don't love you.
Sorry if my post doesn't make the same sence to you guys as it does to me. This is my opinion only, by my experience...

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Geez... I'm gonna be a bad boy from now on.

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There are few things so offputting as a guy trying to be a bad boy for the sake of getting laid.

It was a phase for me -- a phase because I got over it once I actually experienced the flip side. ("He's rude and inconsiderate -- oh, riiight, that's why I hooked up with him. **** that.") I think at core it's just that excitement is sexy, and "bad boys" usually have some sort of aura of excitement, whether just not knowing what he's going to pull with you personally, or not knowing if someone from the gang he beat up yesterday will show up and beat him up or worse.

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sozobe wrote:

I think at core it's just that excitement is sexy, and "bad boys" usually have some sort of aura of excitement, whether just not knowing what he's going to pull with you personally, or not knowing if someone from the gang he beat up yesterday will show up and beat him up or worse.

Yeah...and after he does his stuff you get to get these other guys to beat him up and all that. Its great! (joking--I think) :wink:

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