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Right guy but financial worries

 
 
Grace84
 
Reply Thu 25 Apr, 2019 03:48 pm
I met a lovely guy about 2 years ago through my hiking group. A few months later he started messaging me. For the past year I was not able to get to the group due to ill health, he would message me and always asked how I am and if I need him he is there for me. So we have kept in touch.

I have spent last weekend with him at the hiking group. I can tell he really likes me. He is kind and caring and we have a laugh. I don't know why but I am trying to fault find him. The one factor I am not sure of is money. I am currently not working, as I need to find work after losing my job. He also is not on a full time contract, which he said he is looking for more hours as he said he is struggling to survive. As he lives an hour away so petrol costs need to be considered too if we are to meet in the middle etc.

My parents have always told me not to date anyone who is poor or has no savings as they are just using you and cannot provide for you. I don’t want to use a man for his money as I have tried dating guys who have more money and they have ended up being the most narcissistic and unloving men I have met which I do not want, I need a man who cares.

He said he will see me again on another walk or break away. Should I give him a chance or wait until we both have full time employment? I don’t want to mess him around as he does not deserve that. He messaged me the day after the trip and has messaged me today. I had such a great time with him it's breaking my heart and I hate waiting any longer.
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Thu 25 Apr, 2019 04:42 pm
@Grace84,
It's dating, not marriage.

You can date while broke-- you just need to be more creative.

And don't loan him any $$ or borrow any from him.

If it becomes serious in the future then concern yourself with that then. In the meantime, enjoy picnics, free museum visits on odd days, and walks in the park.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Thu 25 Apr, 2019 06:41 pm
@jespah,
Right.

Don't put the cart before the horse.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Fri 26 Apr, 2019 07:25 am
@jespah,
jespah wrote:

It's dating, not marriage.

You can date while broke-- you just need to be more creative.

And don't loan him any $$ or borrow any from him.

If it becomes serious in the future then concern yourself with that then. In the meantime, enjoy picnics, free museum visits on odd days, and walks in the park.


Jeepers Jes - you took the words out of my typing (mouth) - I was going to also say - you aren't going to marry him (at least not now). As far as money - dating -- date who you like. If you get to the point of getting married, I can see looking at finances ... more to make sure you are both financially in a point to do so.

Just be fair about money - you can go out without spending much if anything. Seeing you both like to hike and be in the outdoors -- pack a lunch and go hiking, to the park, the beach.

Who knows what is in the future for you two - he might just be between jobs and then who knows lands some fabulous high paying job. The opposite could happen too - you can find some wealthy guy with this incredible paying job and then he gets laid off cannot find work and gets lazy and in deep debt.

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