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Am I over reacting?

 
 
Reply Sun 28 Oct, 2018 12:23 am
My husband met some friends online both male and female "they live in different states" He sometimes private chats with them nohing flirty or out of line,most of the messages are things about life or games .He was honest about having a wife. I am mad about this. Should i be or am I being overly jealous?
 
cherrie
 
  3  
Reply Sun 28 Oct, 2018 12:53 am
@Love2020,
I'm really confused as to just what it is that you're upset about. If, as you said, their chats aren't flirty or out of line then what have you got to be mad about?
Love2020
 
  2  
Reply Sun 28 Oct, 2018 01:08 am
@cherrie,
Thanks for your reply.
You're right I have no reason to be mad. I guess I'm insecure and need to work on that. I have trouble understanding the need to private message another women.
glitterbag
 
  2  
Reply Sun 28 Oct, 2018 01:32 pm
@Love2020,
It's possible he's avoiding a larger group to discuss or explain an issue that the regular group wouldn't be interested in. I correspond thru PM to both men and women on this forum. Sometimes to express condolences, or to ask about an illness in their family..Ive been doing this for 20 hears and have never sent or received anything that would remotely be considered romantic.
0 Replies
 
bunnyhabit
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 Oct, 2018 08:07 pm
Since they live in another remote location, he does not flirt and publicized his relationship status you are overreacting. He is your husband not a prizoner. It is normal for people to socialize.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Mon 29 Oct, 2018 03:46 am
@Love2020,
You sound very jealous and controlling. If you carry on like this you won't be married much longer. Your husband has done nothing wrong.

People have a wide variety of interests and it's next to impossible to find someone else with exactly the same interests. I have a friend who is a married woman, she talks to me about politics because her husband isn't really interested in it. Similarly I talk to him about the local music scene because she's not into that.

There's nothing romantic or untoward about our meetings, we're just friends meeting up to chat and discuss common interests. That's what normal people do.

You said your husband talks to others about gaming. I imagine he's more into it than you are and is just sharing something with someone who will appreciate it instead of just putting up with it.
0 Replies
 
Medusax
 
  -3  
Reply Mon 29 Oct, 2018 04:14 am
@Love2020,
At least he was honest about having a wife. When my ex started his online crap, he spun sad tales about heart-breaking single life and blah, blah, blah. I don't really agree with an "involved" person having constant, ongoing conversations with the opposite sex. Too many times I have been betrayed by the "only friends" nonsense.
izzythepush
 
  4  
Reply Mon 29 Oct, 2018 04:26 am
@Medusax,
So your advice is warped by your own experiences. It's quite possible for men and women to be friends. If you attract the sort of men who only view women as sexual conquests you might want to ask yourself why that is.
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Oct, 2018 08:30 am
@Love2020,
Yes you are being overly jealous - sounds like he is just reaching out and contacting some old friends. It doesn't sound like he is hiding anything - what's wrong with reaching out to old friends and chatting with them?

Not sure why it matters whether it is a private chat or a public chat as long as like you said - it isn't flirting. There could be a variety of reasons why you chat private vs public.
0 Replies
 
Medusax
 
  -3  
Reply Mon 29 Oct, 2018 05:37 pm
@izzythepush,
The men I "attracted" were men. Pure and simple. And, to be honest, if men were only looking for sexual conquests, they would not be looking at me for that. I am far from the type.
Medusax
 
  -2  
Reply Mon 29 Oct, 2018 05:45 pm
@Love2020,
I have trouble understanding the need to private message another women.

So would I.... I did not have the least bit of desire to PM another man when I was married.
izzythepush
 
  3  
Reply Tue 30 Oct, 2018 01:31 am
@Medusax,
It seems you are the type. I'm a man, and I'm nothing like you described, in fact I find your blanket description quite offensive. I find women like you quite nightmarish, but I know they're not all like you.

I pm women on this forum all the time, mostly because I don't want to derail threads or I don't want other posters to know what I'm saying.

We don't talk about sex or exchange rude pictures.
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Tue 30 Oct, 2018 08:11 am
@Love2020,
How do you feel about your husband meeting local friends - male and female - separate from you? is that ok? is it only online conversations that bother you?

I meet male and female friends separately from my partner - so does my partner

I chat online with male and female friends in other cities/continents - so does he

I meet online friends - male and female - in person ---- he does the same

__

It's not much different from penpals decades ago -except it's faster.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  3  
Reply Tue 30 Oct, 2018 10:46 am
@Medusax,
Medusax wrote:

I did not have the least bit of desire to PM another man when I was married.



What if you wanted to buy your husband a special gift, one person on that forum was a craftsman who could make a wonderful gift and by posting on a forum your secret would be out?

What if you just wanted to say that you think another poster is a complete idiot but you didn't want to say that publicly?

Those are off the top of my head, but there's hundreds of other innocent reasons why someone would pm someone else.

Why so worried about opposite sex pms? People do have same sex relationships after all.
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Oct, 2018 01:43 pm
@izzythepush,
izzythepush wrote:

Why so worried about opposite sex pms? People do have same sex relationships after all.


Did you really mean "PMS" - interesting opposite sex PMS is that like a husband having sympathy pregnancy pains?
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Tue 30 Oct, 2018 01:53 pm
@Linkat,
Pms as in personal messages, that's why I didn't capitalise it.
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Oct, 2018 01:57 pm
@izzythepush,
Yes - I realize what you were saying but there is a bit funny in it
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Oct, 2018 01:57 pm
@Linkat,
You probably don't want to hear this. I've never experienced sympathetic pregnancy anything, but I always knew when my late wife's period was due. I used to get the shits something rotten one or two days before she was due.

Like I said, you probably didn't want to know that.
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Oct, 2018 01:58 pm
@izzythepush,
izzythepush wrote:

You probably don't want to hear this. I've never experienced sympathetic pregnancy anything, but I always knew when my late wife's period was due. I used to get the shits something rotten one or two days before she was due.

Like I said, you probably didn't want to know that.


well there you go opposite sex pms!
0 Replies
 
Medusax
 
  -1  
Reply Tue 30 Oct, 2018 07:06 pm
@izzythepush,
Ok..What is a "woman like me". I'll prepare myself to be amazed.
 

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