Boomer--
You have my sympathy. Being the all-loving, all-forgiving, understanding mother can be very wearing.
Have you pointed out to Mo that if he kills you off, you won't be around?
Absolutely, keep a journal of the post-visitation days. The record will be very useful in case of custody battles or a fight over adoption.
Is there any way you can plan decompression time for the day after a visit? Mo likes swimming. Does he like baths? Nice, purifying, cleansing baths?
You are earning many-many gold stars in your heavenly crown. Hold your dominion.
My son often says wacky things, much like "I'm going to kill you off". Most of the time it is some variant of something he has seen on tv (Cyberchase) taken out of context and mixed up a bit. Since I know that he doesn't know what the words really mean, I often play a game with them. For instance, were he to say "I'm gonna kill you off" (he has said he would chop my neck off once, and that sent me into a fit of laughter) I might say, "why don't you kill me on?" That's usually followed by a huh? and then while he puzzles about that we move on to other subjects.
Kill you off - hmmm - pondering - mebbe seeing them makes him think of when he was not living with you guys, and he then fears losing you, and does the sort of pre-emptive stuff that I (think) I talked about earlier - you know, fears pain of losing you, so gets you out of his life (symbolically) himself, first?
I had a similar thought Deb. I wonder if Mo worries that he's going to lose you Boomer. Everytime he has contact with the bio family puts his security of staying with you at risk. He doesn't have many threads to hold on to and perhaps seeing the bios makes him anxious that the few he has will be cut.
That'd make sense.
No advice, just hugs.
In a way, this (these) threads are diaries, but I agree it is a good idea to keep a set of notes or diary, Boomer. Not to make it a task, but it could be helpful.
