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when I agreed for my daughter to come into my home with her husband and four kids, in order to help

 
 
anoula
 
Reply Tue 4 Sep, 2018 08:41 pm
them out for a while , till they got their house sold, bad idea , but was i wrong being almost sixty five and not used to little babies running around touching and taking things off my tables and playing with playdogh on my carpet and screaming all the time and me telling the fourteen year old and the sixteen year old to pick up after themwselves that is all i asked them to do,, and it wasnt getting done, blankets on the floor no beds made etc etc,,, and although my daughter was telling them to do so, but they were not, did i not have the right after a week of seeing this over and over again , to not get mad? She finally left today after only a week because my cleanliness was ocd and i am nuts constantly cleaning and it drove her whole family nuts cause i was over the top, ummmmmmmmmmmm i am almost seventy she is fourty and has two older ones that were NOT helpinng but expecting me to do it all after them but they make it look like i am the psycho one cause i wanted my house nice and clean as i am used to keeping it unlike her s where her house has crumbs etc, and they live like hoarders,,, clothes piles on floor and clutter everywhere and the excuse is She has to take care of four kids , ummmmmmmmmm i took care of them for a week and my house was spotless even though i am exhausted but i can do it,,, so why are there excuses on her part, can some one tell me i am not nuts for wanting only that from them and it wasnt getting done,,, they say i went nuts when i would see things on the floor ummmmmmm yes just as i pick up constantly from those little ones and tell them NOOOOOOOOOOO when they are doing something wrong, never spanking them but letting them know authority that they never have and tapping lightly on thier hand when they are bad and them screaming bloody murder like i killed them , funny, as their mom, my daughter saw how i do it and even laughed and now shes been home one hour and says that her three year old tells her mommy can i put my cup down on the carpet , and that if she was at my house i would not allow it, ummmmmmmmmmmmm no i wouldnt incase koolaid would spill on the carpet or on the floor, i really dont want to have to do extra work if i dont have to and since her mother says im watching her and doesnt most of the time, i will take the initiative to watch them , but im the bad guy,,,???? please tell me i am not going crazy hhere and that i have the right to be respected and if she cannot run around for her kids or dicipline them if they are doing something which will cause me to over work my old ass body and noone to care , am i wrong for telling them constantly to clean up after themselves?
 
Sturgis
 
  3  
Reply Tue 4 Sep, 2018 10:26 pm
@anoula,
Quote:
...was i wrong being almost sixty five...


...i am almost seventy...


Wow, you sure are aging fast! It seems like a good thing they departed from your home or you'd be fast approaching eighty.

It's your home, your rules. Even guests need to make an attempt at abiding by them.
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Wed 5 Sep, 2018 05:06 am
Houses don’t sell overnite. How long did you agree to put them up? (Before they would have to get a rental)

Is there a father/husband in the picture?
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 5 Sep, 2018 12:36 pm
@Sturgis,
Sturgis wrote:

Quote:
...was i wrong being almost sixty five...


...i am almost seventy...


Wow, you sure are aging fast! It seems like a good thing they departed from your home or you'd be fast approaching eighty.

It's your home, your rules. Even guests need to make an attempt at abiding by them.


Maybe it is taking them 5 years to sell the house?
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Wed 5 Sep, 2018 12:48 pm
@PUNKEY,
The title says daughter and husband with four kids.

Any way I agree - what you need to do is have the two "adults" sit down with you. Let them know first how disruptive this is to your home and your lifestyle. Let them know you care about them all and want to help them but this is really a burden on you.

Then say you want to have this work out for all of you so you need to have some rules in place - Give them the rules straight out. Before you do so though write everything down so it is clear. A - you clean up after your self B- you buy your own food C- your kids cannot eat in the living room, whatever is reasonable. Also I would give them a deadline - not just until they sell their home - maybe until you sell your home or within 3 months which ever is sooner.

Hopefully just knowing how difficult this is for you would clear things up - it could be they are simply ignorant how this is impacting you. Maybe they are used to living this way and do not understand that for someone else this is disruptive.
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Wed 5 Sep, 2018 12:50 pm
@Linkat,
I always wanted to add - to make sure it clear that they care for their children, make sure their children are respectful of you and ensure their children are following the rules - you shouldn't have to enforce the rules or care for the kids.
0 Replies
 
 

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