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Gay girl dating married straight man

 
 
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 01:12 pm
I am a 55 year old straight married man. Recently a gay 25 year old female co-worker with whom I have been flirting with made an obvious overture towards me in my office.
Some days later we discussed it and she said she was attracted to me. We have met for breakfast and lunch about six times. Nothing physical has come of our meetings but we constantly flirt at work.
She lives at home with her family and they keep a tight leash on her. According to her Facebook page she is in a relationship with another woman.
At first I thought maybe she was using me but she assures me she isn't. We have never discussed her sexuality. She has drawn pictures for me of flowers etc and texted me closing with an occasional heart and I know she has told her middle school aged sister about me under a veil of secrecy. She said she explained it as "sometime people have attractions they don't understand and sometimes the person may be a lot older."
As a straight man I've heard various explanations about lesbians dating straight men.
So hopefully someone will shed light on this subject. Is it possible that she is sexually interested in me? Secondly, could she just be confused about her sexuality and is just trying to sort it out? Any help or advice would be appreciated.
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Type: Question • Score: 7 • Views: 8,197 • Replies: 24

 
glitterbag
 
  4  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 01:18 pm
@Usmcsnco,
I don’t really know what any of it means, but I’d suggest you avoid the hell out it. Sounds like a recipe for disaster.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 01:20 pm
@Usmcsnco,
Maybe she's being friendly the way some people are. Maybe she thinks/hopes you are safe to casually flirt with. Don't be getting your hopes up. Be a friend and talk.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  4  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 01:25 pm
@Usmcsnco,
And you're married . Not exactly prime dating choice for anyone. Maybe ask your wife what she thinks about you dating. Laughing
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  3  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 03:04 pm
@Usmcsnco,

don't go there.

A) you're married

B) she's a co-worker

C) she's young enough to be your daughter
maxdancona
 
  -3  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 03:18 pm
@Usmcsnco,
Of course you should go for it. You only live once and you aren't getting any younger. You are basically talking about no strings attached sex with someone in their sexual prime. You would be crazy to not do this.

I am assuming your own marriage is in a state where you feel comfortable having sex with someone else; either open marriage or just apathy doesn't matter. I don't judge. Just make sure that you can live with yourself afterwards.

If she is up for it, and you are up for it, then go for it. What other people think doesn't matter.

Life is for living!
0 Replies
 
jcboy
 
  5  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 04:47 pm
I've always heard that most guys don't start growing up until they hit 30, but 55? and he can't figure this out on his own? Razz
maxdancona
 
  -3  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 04:54 pm
@jcboy,
Usually men spend their 30s and 40s trying to live upstanding, socially acceptable lives. In the 50s we generally figure out it isn't worth it. I doubt there is any man in their 60s wishing they had been more uptight and regretting that they had too much sex.

As a society, we have come a long way in some areas accepting different forms of sexual relationships. But we are still prudish when it comes to the idea that anyone might want, seek or enjoy sex as sex.

If two adults want to have sex with each other... they should have sex.




glitterbag
 
  3  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 05:17 pm
@jcboy,
Well he did say she occasionally puts a heart emoji on her text msgs and she draws flowers 🌺 for him AND she lives at home with parents and they watch her closely AND she’s only 30 years younger........sounds perfect!!!!
0 Replies
 
Sturgis
 
  3  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 05:29 pm
@maxdancona,
Quote:
I doubt there is any man in their 60s wishing they'd been more uptight and regretting...


You'd be wrong about this.

From a personal standpoint, I have sincere regrets about the Easter weekend affair and several weeks after with a man who was with another man already. Maybe gays are more discerning.

My rule had been and has since been, never with a betrothed man. Once they go their separate ways, all bets are off. If he refuses to part from them, it says he's not interested and I'm worth more. Much more. In fact, self respect cannot be bought off.


Additionally, I know of two others who have regrets.

Sorry max, this just ain't your day.
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 05:37 pm
@Region Philbis,
Region Philbis wrote:

C) she's young enough to be your daughter


technically - granddaughter

__

my dating cutoff used to be no one I could have given birth to - so 12 - 15 years younger. 30 years younger - grandchild


ramble : def the case if you were in my friend Darlene's family - everyone seemed to have their first kid at about 14, other than her nephew whose gf was pregnant when he was 13. - her mother was a great-great-grandmother just before she turned 56
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  2  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 06:01 pm
@Sturgis,
I am not upset by that Sturgis.

I guess I have never knowingly slept with someone who was currently in a relationship, and I have never slept with someone else when I was in a committed relationship. I would feel worse about the latter (since the rules in someone else's relationship aren't mine). I did technically commit adultery having sex with someone else when I was married... but we were separated and we both knew it was over. I have no regrets (at least when it comes to sex) other than in my early 20s when religious beliefs kept me from having sex before marriage.

I think the age limits are silly (as long as both parties are over 18 and able to make their own decisions).

I still think society still puts far too many restrictions on the sexual behavior of others. My views on sex in general have become more libertine after I reached my 50s. You are correct that I shouldn't assume everyone has the same experience.

The actions of two consenting adults aren't my business.
0 Replies
 
Medusax
 
  2  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 06:17 pm
@Usmcsnco,
She is 25 and her family keeps a tight leash on her? Sounds like a bunch of drama waiting to happen.
0 Replies
 
neptuneblue
 
  6  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 06:19 pm
@Usmcsnco,
Dear Penthouse,

I am a middle aged man who thinks a gay lady wants to have sex with me.

I KNOW it because, well, I'm God's gift to all lesbian women. I mean who wouldn't want ME?? Sure, I'm married and yes, my tits hang lower than hers. But so what? She draws me FLOWERS and EVERYBODY knows that's secret code in lesbian-ese that she WANTS me. ME, I say!!

So Penthouse, I ask for your humble assurance that my wife won't laugh her ass off after she kicks me to the curb for being a cheating pain in the ass.

I also ask that my new found lesbian lover may continue to think of me as her shiny new boy toy that she hides from her lover. Lord knows I couldn't take getting my ass kicked twice by two different women.

Sincerely,
Old As Mold And Twice As Smelly

ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 06:35 pm
@neptuneblue,
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/034/715/win11.png
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 08:02 pm
@neptuneblue,
You made me laugh
neptuneblue
 
  2  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 08:09 pm
@glitterbag,
What's really sad is...

This generation doesn't know what the Penthouse Letters were....
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 08:19 pm
@neptuneblue,
I’m not so sure, I tried reading a few many years back....I was never really sure if they were supposed to make you laugh or cry. Holy crap, fantasies about trains and tunnels, amputees or amputees on trains heading into tunnels. The one thing about those letters, is you never forget the contrived scenarios, and the god awful high camp.
neptuneblue
 
  3  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 08:45 pm
@glitterbag,
Was it the "Twice As Smelly" part that got me down thumbed?

I so want to be part of The Club.



sniff
*dabbing eyes




glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Aug, 2018 09:08 pm
@neptuneblue,
There, there....it’s not so bad....I’m sure your membership renewal form is on its way. By the way, when you get your notification......could you call them and ask if my membership will be renewed???? I think I angered our chief cult leader. 😢
 

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