Am I “Queer Enough”? — The Identity Struggles of Bisexual People

By Linda Athanasiadou
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve asked myself, “Do I even belong here?” That quiet, persistent question has echoed through my head in LGBTQ+ spaces, in conversations with friends, and even in my most private moments. As a bisexual woman, that feeling of not being “queer enough” isn’t rare—it’s painfully common.
Bisexual people often find themselves caught between two worlds. When we’re in relationships that appear straight, we’re read as straight. When we’re with same-gender partners, people assume we’re gay. And in both cases, our actual identity—bi, fluid, pan, queer—is erased.
This invisibility isn’t just social. According to the 2025 National LGBTQ+ Survey by the Human Rights Campaign, nearly 60% of bisexual respondents said they felt excluded or misunderstood in LGBTQ+ spaces. Many reported feeling pressure to “prove” their queerness—through how they dress, who they date, or how politically active they are. And for some, that pressure turns inward, becoming self-doubt and shame.
I’ve been there. I’ve hesitated to use the word “queer” for myself, worried that others would think I was trying to claim something that didn’t belong to me. I’ve over-explained my dating history, as if a timeline could justify my identity. I’ve questioned whether I had the “right” to take up space at Pride.
But here’s what I know now: being queer isn’t something that needs to be measured or ranked. There is no threshold you have to meet. No partner quota. No aesthetic checklist. Being bisexual doesn’t mean being “half straight” or “not gay enough.” It means exactly what it means: the capacity for attraction to more than one gender. That’s real. That’s valid. And it’s enough.
The shame and erasure bisexual people feel often come from deep-rooted stereotypes. We’re seen as indecisive, experimental, attention-seeking, or untrustworthy. These harmful myths are everywhere—from media portrayals to casual jokes to serious relationships. And internalizing them can lead to what researchers now call “internalized binegativity”—a specific form of self-doubt linked to external stigma.
But the truth is: you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. You don’t need to act more queer, look more queer, or explain yourself endlessly to claim your space in the LGBTQ+ community. You already belong.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re in limbo—too gay for straight spaces, too straight for gay ones—you’re not alone. And your experience isn’t inauthentic because it doesn’t fit someone else’s narrative. The LGBTQ+ umbrella was never meant to exclude. It was meant to hold us all.
The next time you catch yourself wondering, “Am I queer enough?”—pause and remember this: your identity is not up for debate. It is not conditional. It doesn’t require permission or consensus. It exists. It matters. And it is more than enough.
For more personal stories and reflections, I invite you to read my article, “The Truth About Bisexuality: Attraction Isn’t a Phase.” https://able2know.org/topic/591443-1 Because owning who you are, in all its complexity, is one of the most radical things you can do.