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Getting jealous with a guy. what should i do?

 
 
Reply Sun 29 May, 2022 03:56 pm
hey we are lesbian couple and we are hiding this relationship because of family reason. sadly theres this guy a cousin of our close friend that they are matching to my gf. one time he msg my gf to have a coffee date and my gf told it to me. I was so hurt that I cried so hard. imagining her dating with this guy whilr we are in a relationship. i was devastated and so hurt then she cancel her meet up with this guy so we are back to normal.

her bday came and after 2 days this guy gave her a gift infront of me and my friends. I was so jealous but I cant do anything sincr we are on hidden relationship.
what should i do? please advice me because i jhst want to save my heart for not hurting so much. i know eventually she will choose a guy over a gitl. i mean thats a reality.
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sun 29 May, 2022 09:39 pm
@hiddenRel,
Either you two come clean and come out, making your relationship obvious to all and sundry, even family. And then this guy will probably back off.

Or you don't, and he won't.

I take it that just telling him and asking him to keep quiet is not on the table. So, you're left with the two scenarios above ^.

Are you in a society where being lesbians is not just frowned upon but downright dangerous? Then you either accept it will end some time, or you both leave the area.

If you don't live in such a society, and it's just family disapproval you're trying to avoid, you need to get over that. Your family/families may be more accepting than you think. And if they aren't, then you'll know something about the family, yes?

Let me add one more thing.

Regardless of what you want to do regarding your family and your relationship, if she's not interested in this guy, then she's got to make that clear, sooner rather than later. It's the only fair thing to do for him. At this point in time, this is at least a clear path to take. She needs to do a kindness for this guy and then the two of you have some decisions to make.
hiddenRel
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Jun, 2022 11:34 pm
@jespah,
thank you for your reply! unfortunately we live in a society where having a relationship with the same gender is a sin. 😞
we had an argument about this guy and I told her if she will date this guy that means she like him and the guy will think the same way. She argued that meeting him once for coffee does not mean that she likes him because she doesn't know him! i am so mad but cant do anything since were hiding our relationship. I told her if we broke up I cannot see her anymore because cmon it hurts to see your ex with someone else and she said i should not think ahead of time and she aint like that. she put on archived their chats after we fight then i restricted the guy on her messenger without her knowing but i think she saw it she still msg the guy saying thank you with the gifts yesterday and put him back to restricted yesterday too. i just saw she msg him yesterday while I am at work. haha

I am literally sad and heartbroken of what shes doing but at the same time Im trying not to get jealous because she said she loves me.

there's no assurance that we will last. we just cant go on with our lives without each other as of the moment. we're best friends and everyone knows it. so starting today I am gonna try my best not to love her much and step by step to stay away from her because the reality is i know she will end up with a guy. 💔💔💔💔

thank you jespah
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