My ex still loves me :-)

Thanks for your concern nimh. I appreciate it ;-)

Ahhhhhhhh Montana........

You go.......and you have FUN!!! Your heart is not one that seeks to hurt anybody. You laid the ground rules out for this man. He's a big boy. It's up to him to follow them.

You said yourself, that you just need to feel that sweet familiar touch again. I think this could turn out to be quite good for you, actually. Seven years is a long time. This trip might trigger something inside of you which in turn will cause you to take that rusty ole' key that's been keeping your heart locked up, and help you to toss it aside, once and for all! It might awaken that part of you that is willing to start taking chances again...because your "need" is greater than your "fear."

It is good to allow yourself time to heal. Everybody needs that after trauma. I think you've had that time, my friend. Now it's time to let go. Taste life again. Enjoy the fruits with no worries.....for you are a much smarter woman now.

Know your boundries and stick to them. When you come back, I would expect those around you to see that sparkle return to your eyes.

Walk softly into that new realm where the sun shines, and let it bring you back to what you used to be before life stole your spirit.

Brooke
Thanks so much for that. You brought tears to my eyes because I know you understand how I feel.

I know in time I'll be able to put all those old war wounds behind me and start all over again with my eyes wide open this time, I'm just not quite there yet.
I know in a way it seem that these scars are old, but in reality, I still have to deal with my ex (the abusive one who is my sons father) and this prevents me from being able to completely put my past behind me. The time is coming where I'll never have to hear that mans voice again or look at his abusive face for the rest of my days, so I wait for that day when I can put the past behind me once and for all. In the mean time, I will never give him the satisfaction of knowing how many years of my life he destroyed.

7 years is a long time and all I've been through those years is a mom, so now I need to feel like a woman again. I long for and need that.
I need to go somewhere and be with someone I'm completely comfortable with and be able to let the woman in me come through.

Being both mom and dad for almost 18 years is exausting and just the thought of getting emotionally involved with anyone right now is the last thing I need at this time. I know it may be hard for some of you to understand how I could feel this way, but hey, I never said I was normal, LOL~!

How in hell have I managed to miss this thread!?!

<thinking, thinking>

LOL, Eva. I was wondering where you were.

I haven't been hanging out in the Relationships forum much lately, M. Getting tired of reading the same old same old. But I just had to read this thread after seeing the title. I was afraid I was gonna hafta come up there and kick your butt. I thought you had completely lost it. Whew! Glad it's not THE "ex."

Now, lessee. You've done this before, so you pretty much know what you're getting into, right? Well, that's easy to say...not always easy to do. Sometimes our hearts get involved despite our best efforts to stay detached. Especially when it's been a long time.

On the other hand, sometimes you just gotta make a move. And that can give you the momentum you'll need to make other moves. That's happened to me.

So I say, "go for it." Even if it turns out to be a train wreck, it's usually better to regret things you've done than things you haven't done.

Hope you have LOTS of fun! {smooch}

Mixed feelings here, Montana. I'd rather see you move on, but understand your point of view.

I hesitate to comment that waiting for everything to devolve in the business with your Exex and son's growing up is obviously more comfortable for you, but I am not so sure it is a great demarcation. I don't think you should tie opening your womanly self to new living with the denouement of all that.

Time flies, feel life.

(easy to say, I know)

That's just what I was hoping for, too.

Sweet Montana, I think you're grown up enough to just go, have a wonderful time, and leave it until another 12 months have passed. If not, well, then, you've learned something about yourself, and that's a good thing.

My REAL hope is this will enliven you to the thought that other relationships could be a good thing, too. But you know, you don't have to worry about it AT ALL, because that's not why you're going.

I think when you come back with that sparkle in your eyes, that little happy hip-sway in your walk, that secret smile, men will suddenly find you irresistible. It's not how you look, it's how you feel about yourself. A big dose of love-confidence is my prescription.

but, but, but... didn't she say it was going to be a year off yet? Are you really going to wait another year Montana? What can we do to help move this thing along?

Oh Montana, what wonderful advice you've received from these truly caring a2kers.

I really know what you mean by not feeling ready to get involved again. But...remember what happened to me? For me, life began at sixty. Sweetie, DON"T wait that long!!!

In the meantime, go and enjoy. I love the idea of sparkling eyes, sexy hip-sway and a little secret smile filled with sensuality and great sex!

I know this isn't really romantic at all, but that corny old song, Back in the Saddle Again , kept going through my mind for the first few months until I realized that this was going to be something wonderful for the rest of my life. LOL

Eva
I think a lot of people were ready to dope slap me think I was talking about the evil ex, LOL!
Yes, I have done this before and since my heart is aready involved, I know exactly what to expect. I know my heart won't get any more involved than it already is, so I figure "what the hell".
Thanks Eva (((Hugs)))! :-D

Osso
Thank you for your concern, but I promise that I know what I'm doing ;-)

BK
Exactly! I just need that little extra spring in my step. Of course I won't make it as obvious as that guy skipping and whistling in that viagra commercial, but I'm sure it'll give me some of that secret smile :-D Thanks :-D

JB
I'm not really sure when it'll be exactly, but it's really not the greatest time for either of us at the moment. He wanted me to go this month, but I just can't swing it this month. I suggested next month, but he may not be able to do it next month, so we'll see what happens.

Diane
You're so very sweet. Yes, I do remember what happened with you and I hope I'm just as fortunated some day, when I'm ready ;-)

I smiled at the "back in the saddle again", and I'll remember that with a smile every time I think of you and Dys. You are both such very special people who were fotunate enough to find your way to eachother :-)

At the moment, I'm just not ready for the rest of my life, so this would at least fullfill the one thing that I need to get that sparkle in my eye.


Thank you all for all your warm thoughts and concern :-D

Montana you already sparkle, so I'll be looking for fireworks!

Natural born Canadians postpone bed sports until spring--even with very hairy men.

Diane
Awww!!! Thank you :-D


Noddy
Hahahaha!!!!!