Littlek
I think Mikey knows which ex it is, unfortunately this ex put me through hell as well. He just didn't put me through as much hell as my Ex ex, LOL!
Mikey
Now calm down, LOL! I'm not talking about moving in with him or anything like that. As much of a hand full he was in the past, I'm just talking about spending a little time with him once a year with no strings attached. I just want to get a little lovin and then be on my way. It's been 7 years, Mikey!
No, I bet she means the one that used to follow her around Abuzz.
Okay, just don't come back and blame the rest of us guys if it works out badly.
Yes, Roger, that's the ex I'm talking about. I know you must think I'm crazy, but if it starts to go badly, I'll just get in my car and come home. I know that if he starts drinking that it will go strait down hill, so if he picks up a drink, I'll be out the door before he can take his first sip. He's fine when he's sober and I already warned him that our date would be over if he so much as thinks about drinking. He knows I'm very serious and I know he won't screw up if it means me leaving.
Wouldn't it be better to find someone new to have dirty weekends with?
Someone that you don't already know is trouble.
Seems like a mess waiting to happen.
Montana, have fun!! You're a smart, strong woman. Go with your instinct.
When I was so unhappily married, I loved the idea in the movie Same Time Next Year. Even though I never cheated on my ex, the thought was almost irresistible. If that is what you might have with your ex, go for it.
Beth
If I found someone new, that would open up a whole new can of worms that I want to stay away from. I don't want to go through all the nervousness you go through with someone new and as I mentioned earlier, I can't simply have sex with someone I don't care about. I am also not interested in a serious relationship and I don't want to go through that whole process of getting to know someone well enough to be comfortable enough get into the lovin.
Since I can't be with someone I don't love, meeting someone new would mean I would have to fall in love with them before I could let it go anywhere sexual, so you see my problem.
I'm not interested in having sex. I want to have some lovin with someone a actually love and this is why this would be good thing for me.
I am very sexually comfortable with my ex and I want that comfort with no strings.
We live in different countries, so there's nothing that can happen that I can't handle. He's not a violent person, so that's not an issue.
Diane
Thanks a bunch. I've always been extremely attracted to my ex and even though it didn't work out with us, I still think he's sexy as hell. It was very difficult to walk away from someone who turns me on as much as he does, LOL!
If there's anybody that deserves the benefit of the doubt, it's Montana. Anyways, you can't just hide in your house all day and overanalyze every single action before you do it. Sometimes you gotta do what feels right for you.
Thank you Tenoch. Yeah, it just feels right :-D
Montana, it was my first thought when I saw this and then "follow around Abuzz" makes me go uh-oh, this contact happened right after you were talking on Kicky's thread about how desperate you were for some lovin'. Does it matter to you if he's been following you around here?
Montana:
You have thought this out . . . and it seems like a "practical" solution for your needs . . . and like you said . . . it's been seven years (and needs have a tendency to build up).
BUT . . . always a but . . . instead of recognizing that you're a woman who wants LOVE, companionship, intimacy and then venturing out into the world and finding that special someone who you can be sooooo happy with . . . you're stepping back in time to sample a little bit of the comforting part of your past.
It might be okay to settle for a mere tryst. You can set aside a few days every year to get together with your ex-boyfriend to experience intimacy, but I think you're cheating yourself. You deserve better.
I'm not totally against the idea of having a tryst with someone you feel comfortable with . . . IF that gets you back on the horse. If the experience opens your eyes and heart to the possibilities that true love has to offer. . . .
It's difficult to open your heart and take risks again when you've been hurt. Our mode of self-protection kicks in and we no longer want to take the risk to put ourselves out there and possibly be hurt again . . . BUT, you're a LOT smarter now. You know what to look for -- you know what you want and what you don't want.
You said: "meeting someone new would mean I would have to fall in love with them before I could let it go anywhere sexual, so you see my problem."
There's nothing wrong with going out and meeting someone new and falling in love. I hope you'll be brave enough someday to take the risks you need to take to get there because the rewards are so amazing!
Deb is talking good sense.
Do you want to be a Smothered Beauty settling for a fling with the past every seven years?
sozobe wrote:Montana, it was my first thought when I saw this and then "follow around Abuzz" makes me go uh-oh, this contact happened right after you were talking on Kicky's thread about how desperate you were for some lovin'. Does it matter to you if he's been following you around here?
The following me around abuzz was years ago and it was only because I told him about abuzz. I never made that mistake again and I know he'll never find me here.
It was just a fluke that he contacted me after I posted on Kicky's thread. I know this because he would have mentioned it to me.
No worries ;-)
Sex with a long-time ex can be nice + easy ... yeah <smiles>.
Sex with a long-time ex who still wants you back ... uh-oh <red flag>.
Would be how I'd look at it ...
But you seem determined to have some fun, so I hope you'll have it!
I once regretted casual sex with not strings attatched. 10 minutes later I had sex with her again.
Montana wrote:The following me around abuzz was years ago and it was only because I told him about abuzz. I never made that mistake again and I know he'll never find me here.
Montana
You're kinda scaring me with your naivite here.
Look at this link:
A Google search ...
Anyone who knows what you were called on the other board can find you here within three clicks.
Debra
I hear what you're saying and in time I may learn to trust again and let myself love, but I'm not ready for that quite yet, which is why I'm going this route.
You're so right about the hurt I've been through and the impact it has had on me is huge. I have been in protctive mode for a very long time, but I feel that I need that for now. I know that in time, I will meet a nice guy and maybe fall in love again, but I have to be ready.
My son will be 18 in July and I am looking forward to enjoying my freedom for awhile before I get into any other relationships.
All those emotional scars I still have need to heal before I can move forward. When I'm ready for a relationship, I want to be able to give all of me, instead of just part of me. If I were to get involved with someone right now, it wouldn't be fair to them to have to take on the emotional baggage from my past, so I think it's better if I wait until I'm fully recovered and ready to move ahead.
Thanks for your kindness, Debra :-D
Noddy
Thank you as well. I'm hearing you ;-)
nimh
I'm truly not worried about him finding me here and I'd be willing to bet that he forgot my old user name anyway. He's harmless, so the worst he would do is piss me off, so there's no worroes there.
He also knows not to push my buttons because I'll cut him out of my life in a heartbeat and he knows it.
well if you dont mind if he finds you here thats cool - or if you think he wouldnt try - just that for a moment you seemed to believe he wouldnt be able to find you here, when thats really as simple as A-B-C
(afterthought: someone who's still in love with you & followed you around on abuzz, and you think he forgot your username? uhmm ...)
still; hope everything works out pleasantly. sex with someone you still got that tender care for and you know your way around each others' senses ... can be nice.
