Eva's Wine Cellar

Whew! Thank you, CJ! Just in time!

Sounds wonderful to me right now..
osso schmushes face in donut, looks up, smiles...

<C-R-E-A-K..........Door opens, in walks Ellpus, resplendant in Robin Hood outfit >

Bloody hell, it's a bit parky out there, I should have worn a coat.

Righty ho, I've found a costume that I purchased for Kate Moss's Birthday party. I know it's not exactly an elf, but <spins round> as you can see, it looks pretty much like an elf, and the constricting hose reveal just enough of my best assets to distract the eye from the silly hat.

Now, I've bought along with me, some rather large mushrooms, a slab of something called Tofu which has been sitting in the fridge for the past year, as no bugger knows how to cook the thing, a small wedge of Wendsleydale cheese that has the right hand corner covered in green stuff and a jar of pickled eggs.

Now....what would you like me to cook?













Photo of me and Kate, just after the party. She asked me back to her pad, but I was on Penicillin for a personal reason at the time, and was enduring a period of abstinance. She looked disappointed.

I'm not hungry right now, thank you.

We couldn't possibly expect you to cook in such an outfit, Ellpus. You might splash something on it! We can't have that.

Why don't you just have a seat up here at the bar where we can all get a good look at you. It's not often we get patrons with such exuberant fashion sense. It's a treat, really!

<takes parcel of rotten food away discreetly>

I sent over to the Bistro for some of their small quiches this morning. I believe we have some with crabmeat, some with sausage and mushrooms, and some with broccoli and goat cheese. Would you like one, Osso?



<winks at Ellpus>

Never wink at men who wear tashes.

And why not?

It's a piece of advice I have come across a few times.

I'll take that quiche in the top left corner...

Ellpus, how clever, I didn't know porcini are the same as cepes..
well then, think of all you can do with them!

What's a tash?

A tash, or 'tache, is short for mustache, Osso.

I assume that's what Spendius meant. (Wait 'til I tell my hubby! He's always had one.)

Ah, got it.

I thought so.

So you're saying I shouldn't trust Ellpus?

Is that a mustache I see on your face, Spendius, or is it just the funny lighting in here?

Righty ho......I know it took a long time, but I've knocked up a Tofu and Mushroom Omelette. The pickled eggs didn't whip up too well, so really it's a gloop of melted Tofu with some mushroom and eggy lumps, garnished with a little parsley.

Anyone?

P.S. I'm totally trustworthy. Honest.

Osso seen sneaking out...

I'm sure you are trustworthy, Ellpus. I am also certain that you put a lot of time and effort into that, er, Tofu and Mushroom Omelette.

As it turns out, Sophie and Jacques returned earlier today from their little vacation on Lake Como, all rested and ready to do their magic here at the Wine Cellar once again. Sophie was positively inspired by the local cuisine and couldn't wait to get back to her kitchen to start making some fresh pasta. She says to tell you the omelette was very......filling. And it was most kind and generous of you to share the contents of your kitchen so that others here would not go hungry. As a token of her gratitude, she has made you something special with the cepes (porcini) you left in the refrigerator. The rest of us will just have to wait. She insists that you should be served first, and I agree.

Here you go, my Lord. Handmade pasta with veal, sausage and porcini ragu. Just for you.



Isn't the serving dish wonderful, too? She brought it back from Como. It was handpainted by local artisans there. They do such beautiful work.

Osso shows up again, looks over Ellpus' shoulder..

Eva, That looks absolutely superb! Can I have a bite before Lord Ellpus digs in? Red or white wine?

<Ellpus removes Robin Hood hat, loosens his hose and sits at table. Tucks napkin into top of green jerkin and scoops a large dollop of pasta onto his plate, leaving very little for anyone else>


Marvellous! A bottle of Italian Barolo red, please.....1990 if you've got it.

AAAH! That was wonderful......reminds me of Giuseppe, the Chef we had for holiday cover back in 1982.

Kitchen stunk of garlic for a fortnight, but bloody good stuff all the same.

Now.......dessert, methinks.

Would anyone like to share my spotted dick?