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Fellow cats: What stupid things has your owner done?

 
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 03:50 pm
Magawd, shewolfnm, that's like looking in the mirror.

Barney
0 Replies
 
kirsten
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 04:28 pm
Tai Kitty here. My mistress makes me wear reindeer ears and sit on some fat guy's lap for an annual Christmas portrait. I refuse to smile.
She once had a man friend with a dog. Hated that dog, but it was highly amusing when he emerged from the bedroom during a dinner party one night, with one of her, um..."toys" Twisted Evil
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 05:20 pm
I-i-i-is it s-s-safe to come out n-n-now? (ACK!THEREARESTILLPEOPLEHERE!) B-b-bye!

--Buster


Well, Hello, Y'All! This is Rosie. <blink, blink> Don't pay any attention to that scaredy cat. Eva should have named him Twitch. Anyway, as you can see, I am a GORgeous green-eyed, long-haired gray and white cat with an absolutely beautiful tail <lick, lick>...there, that's perfect.

Y'know, Eva should really cut back on Buster's food. His belly's hanging almost to the ground these days, and it flops back and forth when he runs. He looks like he's pregnant! Hahaha!!! Not me, I'll never be pregnant and lose my figure, thanks to my darling Eva. I'm in perfect shape. <looking in mirror> Yes, I do have a sweet smile, don't I!

Oh, another thing that bugs me about Buster. Eva thinks he's such a shy, fearful cat that he'd never hurt a fly. But as soon as she's not looking, he comes over and picks fights with me. It's not fair! He weighs half again as much as I do! And he's MUCH stronger! I'm just a little flower. I'm sick and tired of him beating up on me! Just because I'm cuter than he is and I get more attention. I do wish somebody'd protect me around here!
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 06:20 pm
Hi, this is Wench speaking again. I, as most of you know, am Gustav's cat. I escaped a while ago and went over to Panzade's house. Panzade seemed like a cool guy and he has a nice cat who I bonded with almost instantly. We sat on the floor and played with a ball of yarn and discussed the current state of affairs in the cat world, paying particular attention to the uproar in the feline world caused by the news of the Purina company adding octopus parts to their cat chow. As I was making a point about biting into something that resembled a tentacle last week, I happened to glance into the other room where Panzde was exercising. Imagine my horror when he stuck his penis under a barbell and started grunting, like he was going to lift the damn thing or something.

I bolted. Like a flash I was out the window and racing back toward Gustav's house. I'd rather live in a cloud of opium smoke any day of the week than be subjected to the vision of a human attempting to lift a barbell with his penis.

Too bizarre for me, man..... too bizarre.
0 Replies
 
panzade
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 06:25 pm
Bravo Bravo! Author ! Author!
0 Replies
 
loislane17
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 06:49 pm
Ciao, tutti. I am Grigio, Loislane is my chief of staff. I pretty much rule the house here. She is pretty dumb about certain things though--she'll spend a fortune on some dumb toy but I show her by playing more with the bag it came in, any spare shoelaces lying around and hair ties things. God, I love them. They roll on the edge and are great fun.

And the butt in the face thing. I try at least once a night--after my 20 minute bathing regimen, which I wait to start until the light goes out--to climb up to the pillow, swing that butt into her face and then slowly crawl or dig my way under the covers. I'm not sure what she means but she says I need an OSHA safety horn on my butt when I back up. Confused

Only drag is that opposable thumb thing. Is that supposed to be what dew claws do?
0 Replies
 
margo
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 07:34 pm
Possum here!

I've got herself trained pretty well - and if she misbehaves - well- it's amazing what a great result you get from a quick scratch on some soft parts of the anatomy.

I'm a pretty good size, with mean claws, so I don't
have too many problems with her.

Getting up in the morning does present some difficulty, but, as it's summer, it's much easier to get a paw under the bedclothes and give whatever I find a good rake!

Otherwise, things are fine!
0 Replies
 
kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 08:53 pm
i just took the biggest stinkiest crap in the litterbox. Man, that stinks. Heehee, Kicky's in the bathroom. I can't wait until he comes out and smells this one. Bastard's gotta clean that litterbox now...Okay, I gotta go run around like crazy for the next few minutes. I always get so energetic after I take a good dump!
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 09:16 pm
Hi Kitten here.
Nice to see you Barney, that made me purr.

So master is giving that hairless little person a bath right now. I dont understand how people like hairless things? People are hairless, thier babies are hairless . Dont they get cold? Do we cats look like they do under our hair? ( purr) hair makes me purr
So for dinner tonight I got some tuna. Yum. Reminds me of my masters smell when I am in her lap. That makes me purr too.
Mira ran away again. Well that is what the humans think. Hehe. She is hiding outside.
Secretly, I think she is a dike. Oh please dont tell her. She will beat me up and take my mousie toys away!
Bath time is over.
Puuuurrr... bye
0 Replies
 
CarbonSystem
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 09:25 pm
It's Manfredd here, Carbon's cat. This guy is a damn joke. When i need to be fed my fancy feast, he's on the front porch pickin' and grinnin'. What a hick. Before he took me off the streets I could at least eat some meat now and then, this pussy feeds me tofu. Anyways, meow meow, im tired.
0 Replies
 
colorbook
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 09:29 pm
Hi my name is Spanky. I remember the fateful day that Colorbook took me to the animal hospital. It smelled awful there and they did this awful thing to my male parts and it hurt like #%$$! After it was over, Colorbook came back to pick me upÂ…I made sure I growled and hissed at every #$%&# that worked there! I hope I never see that place againÂ…because, since the surgery, I have become such a momma's boy.
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Sun 13 Feb, 2005 09:37 am
meow, meow,
Hi! Its me kitten.
I see everyone has been found out? Or are your people hoarding the computer again?
oh well.. people are greedy. ( purr)
My master.. she kickedme. I cant believe it.
Her feet move so much during the day I love to chase them. They never stop moving. I get sooo excited. How could she do this?!
I was chasing her feet up and down the stairs. I love doing that.
It makes me purrrrr.....
She was carrying one of those big baskets with those strange colored things they put on thier bodies? You know, they put some on thier chest, some on thier leggs, smaller ones on thier feet... ?
Anyways, there was 2 baskets full of it and she was taking it up and down the stairs. Oh MY her feet were going. I cant help it.
I chased them.
And she was coming down the stairs and there was those little feet...
POW.
I jumped at it, and it sent me flying! :-(
How can she do this?
And she had the NERVE to pick me up and say she was sorry? SORRY? how can she be SORRY? she was laughing...
evil people.
meow
0 Replies
 
JustBrooke
 
  1  
Reply Sun 13 Feb, 2005 09:44 am
shewolfnm wrote:
meow, meow,
Hi! Its me kitten.
I see everyone has been found out? Or are your people hoarding the computer again?
oh well.. people are greedy. ( purr)
My master.. she kickedme. I cant believe it.
Her feet move so much during the day I love to chase them. They never stop moving. I get sooo excited. How could she do this?!
I was chasing her feet up and down the stairs. I love doing that.
It makes me purrrrr.....
She was carrying one of those big baskets with those strange colored things they put on thier bodies? You know, they put some on thier chest, some on thier leggs, smaller ones on thier feet... ?
Anyways, there was 2 baskets full of it and she was taking it up and down the stairs. Oh MY her feet were going. I cant help it.
I chased them.
And she was coming down the stairs and there was those little feet...
POW.
I jumped at it, and it sent me flying! :-(
How can she do this?
And she had the NERVE to pick me up and say she was sorry? SORRY? how can she be SORRY? she was laughing...
evil people.
meow


LMAOhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/heavens_just_a_kiss_away/lmfao.gif
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 Oct, 2006 04:37 am
purrr--


Its kitten.

They finally got this computer working


is there a revolution?

Or am i the only one left?


purr
0 Replies
 
 

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