1
   

Fellow cats: What stupid things has your owner done?

 
 
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 Jan, 2005 11:41 pm
Well, happy hunting to you all. I am going to go stick my butt in ma's face...........I feel another cat nap coming on.
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 Jan, 2005 11:42 pm
The tail, Screech. The tail. You grab it in your teeth, give it a good shake or two to break its neck, roll over and rake the body real good with the hind feet.

And now, rog having gone to bed, it's time for us to get up a good game of Herd of Thundering Wildebeests.



On the bed.
0 Replies
 
dagmaraka
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 Jan, 2005 11:45 pm
Screech here again. Now I decided to log in as one of my ma's ex-roommates. The one that sprayed the whole house with bleach, bleach! Tfooooey!
Well, I wasn't sure if my master was out cold, so I had to be cautious, but now, under this identity, I can finally tell you the truth. She is brutal, a real Nazi. For years now, every day, every SINGLE day, she makes me eat twice a day at the same time -whether I like it or not (when I don't want to eat, she will stuff the food down my throat as if I were a goose or something) and then, and THEN, she sticks needles into me! yeah, you heard me. She shoots me twice a day with this, insulin i think. Insulting it should be called. If anyone's reading, please call some Animal Rights group or something. She's a psycho. Uh oh, she's turning.....gotta go. You never heard a thing from me, got it?!
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 Jan, 2005 11:49 pm
Poor kitty ;(
0 Replies
 
kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 12:16 am
Screech, I'm so sorry to hear that. I wish I could call the humane society for you, but without fingers, it's impossible to dial the phone.

Littlek sounds almost as bad as Kicky. Do you know that he hasn't cleaned the litterbox for three days!!?? What a lazy bastard! I may have to start crapping in the bathtub again.
0 Replies
 
dagmaraka
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 12:24 am
please do that. if you can target his shoes, that would be even better. at least i have the dog to whack my paws at when i get too frustrated. one of these days, i swear i'll bite her head right off.
0 Replies
 
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 03:22 am
dagmaraka wrote:
Screech here again. Now I decided to log in as one of my ma's ex-roommates. The one that sprayed the whole house with bleach, bleach! Tfooooey!
Well, I wasn't sure if my master was out cold....



I'm Sparky...Shiny Heads God.

"...master..."?????????????????????

Look, Puppy...if yer gonna try to pass yourself off as a God...you gotta do more than just say "Meow" once in a while.

"Master" indeed.
0 Replies
 
gungasnake
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 04:00 am
http://www.hosted-webs.com/jokes/pics/cat-dog.jpg

http://www.flottepfoten.de/images/humor/cat_dog.gif
0 Replies
 
jpinMilwaukee
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 11:33 am
Max-a-Million here. Whenever my stupid owner goes grocery shopping he takes an empty plastic bag and puts my head through one of the handles so that I am wearing it like a cape. It scares the sh!t out of me so I try to running away but the bag just fills up with air and makes even more noice. So I run faster... with the same result.

He better sleep with one eye open...
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 12:01 pm
Hi this is Lily and Kato. Sometimes our owner will pick up our front paws and make us dance. Not only is it uncomfortable as hell, but we look ridiculous. One time she put this hats on us and made us pose. She screamed bloody murder at us just to snap a picture, probably to use as future blackmail. Since Kato is just a bit overweight, she bought that diet crap and even measures the amount of food given out. Kato gets her back by puking all over the house. Lily – once my owner nearly smothered me when I was a kitten. I was simply cuddling next to her in fed, being a good kitty by keeping her company and she rolled right on me! I had to claw and bite so the dumb a** would get off me. And you know what? She just laughed.
0 Replies
 
kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 12:30 pm
One time Kicky was packing up his stereo speakers because we were moving. The speaker box was laying on the ground, and I crawled in there because, well, I'm curious. I got so comfortable I ended up falling asleep in the bottom of it.

The next thing I know, I see this giant speaker sliding down on top of me! Nowhere to go, I was almost crushed by the damn thing. I screamed, but idiot Kicky couldn't hear me. The speaker was sticking out the top of the box, because of me taking up the extra space at the bottom, so the idiot starts trying to push the speaker down into the box. He almost killed me before he realized I was in there!

I took off like a shot and went into hiding under the in the cabinet under the bathroom sink for a few hours.

Owners. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 12:38 pm
http://img121.exs.cx/img121/9833/kittenface1rh.jpg
hello. My name is kitten. I am 5 1/2,
please dont make fun of my name, it is my masters way of taunting me because I am small.

My mastertries to tickle me. I dont tickle. Who ever told humans that cats tickle? >sigh<
Im going to go hide now.
0 Replies
 
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 01:28 pm
My cat, Cat, died several years ago...but I still miss him terribly.

People use to make fun of his name also.

Sometimes, because of that, he use to pretend that "Cat" was spelled Katt...and on occasions, he claimed that his name was Katmandu...and that Cat was just a shortened form...a nickname.

He was with me for almost 20 years...and there were times I thought of changing his name to Tattoo...because whenever I was around...he was always as close to me as he could get....sort of like wearing a tattoo.

Yeah...I do miss him.

But Sparky...our replacement....is just wonderful also.
0 Replies
 
panzade
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 01:31 pm
Eva wrote:
Hey there. It-t-t-t's me, B-B-Buster. I'm a (WHATWASTHATNOISE!?!?!) um, "golden tabby tomcat." Well, that's what the prison guard here, Eva, calls me. (OHMYGODAMILOSINGMYMINDORDIDSOMEBODYELSEHEARTHAT?!) Okay, so I'm t-t-twitchy.
Laughing
0 Replies
 
panzade
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 01:34 pm
As you can see I'm waitin for dumb ol panz to feed me.
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 02:00 pm
Hi everyone. It is Kitten again.
You know , this doggie picture makes me nervous.

I was just taking a nap and my master decided it funny to drop one of my toys on me. Since I dont have front claws .. another of HER ideas... I cant get up and run very fast. I slipped on the concrete floor trying to run and she laughed. She said it is because I am so small. Maybe I should be called Panter.
I have a wierd habit. I purr all the time. No matter what is happening. Master has a baby. That baby pulls my hair but I cant help it, I get touched , I purr. Is there something wrong with me?
Gotta go. gotta pee.
Meow at'cha later.
0 Replies
 
panzade
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 02:02 pm
If Panz tried to de-claw me I'd neuter HIM!
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 02:10 pm
Hey Yo

This is mira , masters other cat.
Dont mind that pansy lap cat Kitten. She is scared of her own shadow and will bit*h herself for a pet. Man if she doesnt stop purring.. Im gonna give her something to purr ABOUT.
Master doesnt treat me like that.. no sir. I purposely eat TONS of food so i stay too big to be pulled into laps and made to chase things I dont want to. I keep telling this stupid Kitten that we need to break out man. The world out there is full of other stuff man. Bugs, water, dogs, man. All kinds of stuff. I get out sometimes but before that sun comes up I dont dare leave the yard. Then Mr Master sees me, picks me up and puts me back inside. They just dont get it these people man. Im a cat. I need to be free. There are alot of leaves out there that need to know whos boss. They need to stop moving. There are other cats who DARE come in my yard that need a good butt whooping.
Oh.. my stomach is growling.
I gotta eat.
Dont worry, I wont let that pansy cry baby kitten near this computer. She doesnt know how to handle the CAT REVOLUTION!
oh yeah.. master calls kitten a purr whore. HA!
0 Replies
 
panzade
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 02:17 pm
Hey! This is Wench, Gus's cat . I had to sneak over to Panz's to write this....the effects of opium take a while to wear off. Gus's been blowin opium smoke up my nose for weeks...I don't know where to turn!!!...can somebody free me from this madman????
0 Replies
 
Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jan, 2005 02:23 pm
Hi! My names Blobby. Well, actually, my real name is Squirt but when my new owners took me, they felt that Squit didn't quite define me, so they re-named me Blobby. Rolling Eyes I weight in at close to 12 pounds....12 pounds of beautiful, supermodel kitty.

One of my owners used to put a sock over my head. What a bitch. I used to get even by scratching at her bedroom door at 5 in the morning....until she got up to let me in. And then I'd sit on her forehead. Laughing Nothing a human loves more than cat ass on their face at 5 in the morning. Laughing
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

Oddities and Humor - Discussion by edgarblythe
Let's play "Caption the Photo" II - Discussion by gustavratzenhofer
JIM NABORS WAS GOY? - Question by farmerman
Funny Pictures ***Slow Loading*** - Discussion by JerryR
Caption The Cartoon - Discussion by panzade
Geek and Nerd Humor - Discussion by Robert Gentel
Caption The Cartoon Part Deux - Discussion by panzade
IS IT OK FOR ME TO CHEAT? - Question by Setanta
2008 Election: Political Humor - Discussion by Robert Gentel
 
Copyright © 2020 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.04 seconds on 04/09/2020 at 08:29:40