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Everything is wrong don't know how to deal with breakups

 
 
Reply Fri 8 Dec, 2017 10:35 am
Hello Everybody, as of last February I broke up with my ex after a 6 year relationship and had a tough time coping and getting over her. As of today I feel like I am 95 percent over her which is great because I have been seeing new people.

I have been seeing this one girl for about 3 weeks but we were good friends to begin with and decided we wanted something more. We both had issues at the time and still do. I have sexual performance anxiety and she has stress and depression. Basically I couldn't get an erection from sex and she was stressed about life and past break ups and issues as well

This is the first girl in awhile I actually started to fall for since my ex. She told me today the sex was a small factor because I could not get an erection but me overwhelming her with affection and basically clingy was the biggest thing for her. She said she realized after this experience she does not want to be with anyone or in a relationship. We are good friends and she wants it to be like that and so do I and maybe down the line stuff will happen but for now I want to get over it. I feel the same as I was when I broke up with my ex but not that extreme because that was a 6 year relationship.

We are going to see each other a lot because we have the same social circle. How do i cope with this and be normal and not stress out because I actually loved her? I just want to be around her and show her that i m doing fine and I also want her to realize I am not that guy that was overwhelming and had issues.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 606 • Replies: 4

 
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Dec, 2017 10:42 am
@andrewimecs,
Quote:
She told me today the sex was a small factor because I could not get an erection but me overwhelming her with affection and basically clingy was the biggest thing for her.


I think this is the most important thing. It is great that she is being so honest, this is very valuable feed back. Learn from this for your next relationship.

Be patient with yourself. It takes a while to get over a long relationship. What you are going through is pretty normal. Don't be judge yourself so harshly. I think your friend will understand the awkwardness... these situations are ridiculously awkward. It is best to have a sense of humor about them.

I think are worrying about everything too much. Life is ridiculous... you can't take it so seriously.
andrewimecs
 
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Reply Fri 8 Dec, 2017 11:29 am
@maxdancona,
Thank you I honestly appreciate that! I am seeing her this Saturday and I am not sure how to be around her or act. I basically don't want to act awkward be the bigger person as if it didn't affect me. I don't want to be weak.
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Dec, 2017 11:48 am
@andrewimecs,
Quote:
I basically don't want to act awkward be the bigger person as if it didn't affect me. I don't want to be weak.


You want to be James Bond... calm, cool, debonair. I think you are being very unrealistic... in real life we are often awkward and unsure.

This is the exact reason that we invented humor. It is an awkward situation. There is no way around that. Admit it to yourself, and go with a sense of humor. It doesn't really matter, just go with it. You don't need to be superman, I am sure that this woman understands.

Sense of humor.
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centrox
 
  3  
Reply Fri 8 Dec, 2017 12:21 pm
Second thread by this guy about his situation. Seems like he didn't like the first lot of advice.

https://able2know.org/topic/430857-1#post-6552719


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