Quote:
Act aloof. When she asks you for something, say no. Then when she comes back with some response, just look dumb, think about it for a second, and go, "naaah, I don't feel like it" or something like that. And if she asks why, just stare blankly at her for a minute and then go, "Huh?". Repeat this until she gives up.
Actually Kicky is REALLY on to something with this suggestion. !!
I saw this thread pop up and noticed it gained like 7 PAGES ..
So I figured it wasnt resolved and popped in to see how things are going.
I see, over and over again, that you have a hard time and ADMIT having a hard time saying no, or even yes if that is what you want. You are a people pleaser to the point of loosing y ourself. Ug. I am too.
The one thing that worked for me is taking a conversation s l o w l y.
Ex ample:
Psycho says " I want to go with you to your family dinner/funeral/outting/trip to china what EVER it is.. "
You look at her and then say " Oh ****... hold that thought , im sorry, I REALLLLLLY have to pee" Run into the bathroom and play out the conversation in your head. How ever long it takes. Get over the initial anxiety that flows through you when you realize you are going to have to say no. Rehearse some lines like Dag suggested, Let the anger of her out right rudeness just fill your veins so you dont loose track and then go out and RE-STATE exactly what she said.... then continue with your rehearsed responces.
Yeah.. she is gonna be like huh? You had to pee THAT long? ( have an answer ready ) Then after she has exhausted all other questions and finally resorts to Why? Huh? But I can, But it will help me, da da da da ... then pull out the Kicky ammo... and just look at her. Right in the eyes. Repeat to yourself in your head ( did she not hear me?) because that thought will portray itself in YOUR EYES and she will hear it not only from your lips but your body language as well. Then, you are not being rude at all. I mean.. how rude is it to question why someone didnt hear what you just said? Not at all.
I have had to do this with myhusband.. Hell , I still do. He hates that I was/am a people pleaser and if it wasnt for him teaching me to have a backbone I would still be the roll-over yes woman I was before. It was hard.. VERY HARD.. but I learned the " I have to pee" trick to allow myself some time to get over the initial shock and WOW.. I am now effective and not in the least rude.
Maybe that will help ya.
Or.. simply call me .. and being the powerful witch i am , I can cast a spell and turn her into a toad..
Just call 1-512-big-witch. Ask for melissa. ;-)
