Life at home

I used to live in the ghetto so I wouldn't have to deal with roomates. Crime I can handle. Noise? No problem.

I even tried to convince Mr. B to buy the house next door so we could be neighbors.

He has no sense of humor.

Anyway - I used to threaten Mr. B with putting Nair into his shampoo when he forgot to shave.

You could tell roomie that you are going to put Nair in her shampoo if thats what its going to solve this problem.

By a big bottle of Nair.

Thow some away once in a whle to keep her on her toes just in case she checks Nair level to see if you're serious.

I'm sorry, I'm in my pj's so I can't answer your question right now. Maybe if you ask it some other time I might be able to.


Was you taking her grocery shopping part of the rental agreement? If not, tell her to bugger off. She can come along some other time if you invite her, which you might or might not ever do.

Yeah, that's my point. Princess can get off and on the bus for her three things.

No is a hard word for me. I'll try to use it more often.

We're back from grocery shopping. I told her, I have an errand I can run at the cvs, you go shopping and we'll meet back at the car. She asked if there was a trader joes at porter square. Nope, there's a shaws. She really wanted to go to trader joes. That's too bad. I made her promise she'd be quick. So, I get out of the car and remind her to meet me back at it. She starts to follow me, I point out the shaws. She says, do you think cvs has little trial sized bottles of shampoo? Yeah, probably. She comes in to cvs. I ditch her there (HA!). Then I go get a burrito across the street and go back to the car. She's JUST leaving cvs when I get there. She shops and back she comes with 4 plastic bags (whoops, I miscounted, 4 bags! Of course she couldn't take the T. What a terrible load to bear) in a cart - pushing the cart through slush and skidding over ice, looking helpless in her little kitten heel maryjanes. I popped the hood for the trunk and turned up the radio.

She complained because she'd spent too much - $30.00.

I know I'll be driving you all nuts with my rants. I know you'll all get frustrated with my not "doing something about it". I appreciate your lending an ear anyway. And, who knows, maybe I'll actually do something about it.

She did say thanks.

ROTFLMAO, kicky!

Promise you will NEVER EVER EVEN CONSIDER a sex change, okay? You'd never make it as a girl.

you ARE doing something about it.
I take it ( correct me if i am wrong ) you would normally do things like that for her?
Well.. you set up boundries. .. even if unspoken.
You told her.. because you HAD something else to do that she could go with you.
She made it clear that she wanted to be with you ( asking if the store YOU wanted to go into may have what she needs...dadada.. ) and you did your own thing.
Next boundry...
Not going when you dont want to. ;-)
no is a hard word when not used. When used TOO much it looses it power. Find a middle ground.

You're a good roomie, lil'k. <pats head>

Next time she asks you to do something you really don't wanna do, if you can't say "No" without feeling like a bitch, just tell her you're not feeling great that day, and maybe some other time. People like her are what little white lies are for.

I wouldn't let up about the hair in the shower, though. That's just plain nasty. I'd overreact the next time you notice it (and she's around.) "OH, GROSS! Oh, YUK! Oh, "fill-in-her-name", you PROMISED you wouldn't do this again! I think I'm gonna throw up!" Then gag a few times in her direction. That oughta work.

Funny, Eva, but when I get pushed into a corner, I end up doing **** like that. Her wet little wads of hair (plus the wet wad of tissue I use to pick it out of the drain with) may very well end up in her bed if I snap.

Boomer, I have had lovely housemates. No one is perfect, but I don't ask for perfection. What I ask is common respect in our public spaces and respect for privacy. H.m#1 and I get along seemlessly. I can say, could you please help me by putting out the recycling on wednesday mornings? And, she'll say, yeah, of course I will. No one has hurt feelings, no one is resentful, no one gets pent up...... Dasha and I got along easily (it was probably easier for me than her) with her being able to say put your kitchen table pile of crap somewhere else so I can clean - ok! If I didn't, or I wasn't home, she'd stack it on my bed - ok!

This one is just tricky. HM#1 and I have spent hours trying to figure out how to deal with her.

Eva, I am not a drama queen. Can't emote. And, I did tell her I wasn't up for it. I also told her I was going to go to cvs, but decided against it because I was so tired. She is manipulative and she'll take a mile.

Did I tell you guys about when she invited herself to my family thanksgiving? When I said, uhuhuh (who DOES that?) uhmmm, I dunno. I said, I I didn't think there was any extra room. She said, I'll sleep on the floor! Uhmmmmm, I uh.... Um, I thought you had plans. She: well, I don't know if those are working out. Um, I'll be there for like 5 days, I'm sure you don't want to be---. She cut me off with, it would be a nice break! Oh, um, I'll check with my mom.

I was floored at each step of that conversation so much so that I could think fast enough to white lie. My sister watched something like that happen with this chick. She was amazed.

I have had that happen with people before. You're just too shocked to come up with an excuse. Damn, that is hard.

By the way what's so wrong with being passive aggressive? I llike the direct approach, but I've been known to be passive aggressive too...it's a totally underrated and over-maligned option.

It does take longer to work though.

It's frown upon because you tend to stay angry/frustrated and they end up being hurt/angry - usually. Or at least that's what I've heard.

HM#1 also wants to put her hair in her bed. My sister says put her hair on her teeth whitening stuff (which she leaves on the only counter space we have inthe bath.

My extensive experience tells me that, if they don't change after a couple of reasonable reminders, then they ain't gonna change - it doesn't matter what you do.

Sounds as though talking to her = a few days change.

Either talk to her every few days, and try to let go of the anger - or get rid of her - or try to deal with it until May, if you can, by thinking of her as a helpless child for whom one has to do things.

I am sorry to be so pessimistic about it, but that is my experience.

I like the way your sister thinks. He he he...

Then there is the old "what are you, a helpless child? speech...

Yep. There is.

Never found it to work meself.

'k, your housemate sounds like a real winner. I know a couple of those, and I have one on my hands right now. Sheesh. The only thing that works is just to tell them directly, "No, I don't want to." Or "Sorry, Thanksgiving is a family-only thing." Or "Take your goddamn hair out of the shower!"

Of course, I never have the guts to come right out and say these things when the subject comes up. Damn that Southern upbringing, I have to be nice. But later, when I've seethed over it for awhile, I call them up and say, "The truth is, I just don't want to. Talk to you later."

Or else I blame it on my husband. Heehee.....

It's tough. Glad you're only stuck with her 'til May. I don't know WHEN I can get rid of mine.

I've avoided having roommates, but the once for a month or so when I did my lab internship, but then she got asthma and moved back to LA - except for husband, and that went oddly well for decades, the husband part, I mean.

I may have to resort to it to keep my house, re my income, at some point. Aaarrrrggggh.

I tend to think the same way dlowan does (until I hit peak frustration like the last couple days, then I start thinking like Kicky). Usually, HM#1 and I co-miserate, but she's in Italy healing from a bad car accident and I don't want to bother her about it.

Eva, would you be speaking about your own child....?

Osso - I wish..... I have never lived on my own. i wonder if I'd become a hopeless (even more hopeless than now) hermit where I to live alone.

Well, there is that, I do like my space. Depends on the person, I can share if the other person needs 'space' too.

I'm sort of hermitty, perforce because of the night driving thing, and where I live, but I had, dare I say it, quite a full coterie of pals in LA. Damn, why'd I move...
money, all about money.