I am? Than why does my <breathing> sound like growling?
This seems like your chance -- something like, "I ask you to do something simple like clean the shower after you use it and you won't. Then you ask me to get out of my PJ's after a long day when I was just starting to wind down and do you a favor that you could easily do for yourself? I don't think so."
Soz, yeah, maybe. But, what happens after I say that?
littlek wrote:I am? Than why does my <breathing> sound like growling?
Being nice can be a burden...grin and bare it....or growl and bare it... :wink:
I dunno, depends on her and her personality. Maybe roll over meekly -- "OK, geez, I was just asking." Maybe have a denial fit. "That was ONE time that I forgot and you had to go and make a big deal out of it and..."
The way I see it is that if you're already committed to picking her up, if you can at least get a promise from her that if you're being this nice and considerate, she has to be nice and considerate back, that should be something that helps. More than if you just go and do it with no such promise.
She's mental. Ok, ok, that's not fair. But, she's mental.
What I like about it is the symmetry, and feeling what it's like to be on the other side of it. Any protest she has -- it wouldn't be a big deal for you, whatever -- goes double for her having a little common courtesy and cleaning up after herself.
Where is princess that she can't possible shop before she gets home? No one gets me out of my pjs for such an errand. Plain no. I might not even discuss it.
Shewolf - at least with that woman, you know she's crazy and have proof. H.m.#2 seems normal until you get to know her - or let her move in.
Blech. I never ever was able to do the roommate thing except with S.O.s and even then it was a trial. The co-op was one thing, but since there were so many of us it was rarely a me vs. her situation -- if someone was a total slob we'd say in the housemeeting "stop being such a slob or we'll kick you out!"
Of course the standards for total slobdom was rather... loose...
Anyway, I think if not this particular situation, this is the way to handle it. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. You refuse to scratch mine, why the hell should I scratch yours?
littlek wrote:Shewolf - at least with that woman, you know she's crazy and have proof. H.m.#2 seems normal until you get to know her - or let her move in.
Like the movie, 'White Female'?
Soz, she'd probably cry.
Osso, I don't know where she is, but she'll be taking a bus home. That bus will probably pass 15 grocery stores before she gets here.
littlek
do you have an angry bone in your body?
If you do, can i hit it for ya?
You are SOO worried about how being angry will make you look to them that you are stewing in it.
Get over it
Tell them to clean up after thier dumb lazy azes and to hell with it.
It is much easier when you have spoken about it then not.
Post notes on the bathroom mirror after you remind her YET AGAIN to clean her hair out. Tell her where she can buy a little metal drain grate to put over the drain hole while she showers so it catches it FOR her.. then all she has to do is tap it into the trash can.
Sweetie,... be a bitch. If you dont, there seems tobe no consequences for your roomates and there for they dont care.
Let her cry. Big whoop. Do a finger violin if she's on the phone. (It helps.) Or y'know even if she isn't. She can get her own dang groceries.
(How does that work, anyway? You live in the same house -- how can she not have any food without you not having any food...?)
Soz, you're right about that angel, I'll try and work it in. I don't really have any food either. I was planning on shopping tonight, but was too tired.
Shewolf - we do have a drain thing. We do only have to take it out and dump it.
Ok, so it seems that it's ok to do things like post notes, collect her hair and put it in her bedroom and such. But, I will do these things comfortably because I asked her nicely first. Got to go, she's home.
I wouldnt consider it passive aggressive behavior doing those things considering you have talked about it, addressed it and even reminded her of the behaviors.
i would call it reinforcement. ;-)
good luck
I wouldn't even pick up her hair <yikes>
Just post a huge note on the mirror
"Love your hair, just not in the drain"
here is passive aggressive behavior..
turn of the water to the shower after YOU are done.
No shower, no shedding, no shedding NO PROBLEM.
;-)
Littlek, you have to use the magic word. "NO."
When she asks you to go to the grocery store for her and you don't want to, use it. When she asks you to do anything at all that you don't want to do, use it.
And about the hair thing...I think you should take the hair and just throw it on her bed in a wet clump. But first, you should have a talk with her and let her know that the next time she does this, you will be doing that. That way, she's been warned, and she will know that you aren't f*cking around anymore.
