How do people like that even have friends? I don't get it. I know somebody somewhat like that, and she has plenty of people to hang out with, and they seem like normal, fairly intelligent people. How the hell don't they see what a jerk she is?
what's for dessert to night?
kickycan wrote:How do people like that even have friends? I don't get it. I know somebody somewhat like that, and she has plenty of people to hang out with, and they seem like normal, fairly intelligent people. How the hell don't they see what a jerk she is?
littlek seems normal and fairly intelligent too. That's how this kind of bizarre thing happens.
I found it best, in my apartment sharing days, to not have a relationship with the others. We didn't go out together, didn't share meals, didn't go to each other's social events. It was a courteous business arrangement. Those were the best apartment mates in the long run. Sharing with a friend was a disaster. Unmitigated.
Nope, husker, she doesn't put out.
kicky - I don't really know. All I can think is that these friends are fairly superficial.
I dunno Beth, I'm still friends with Dagmar and Francesca.
I'd call those marvellous exceptions, l'k.
Marvelous indeed. But, they are just 2 of soooo many ex-housemates.
Housemates, business partners, lovers, husbands - it's hard to tune a relationship to a situation.
I find when something is over, oh, m'marriage for example, that people come out of the wordwork saying, "oooh! you are so much more yourself!" Sure, I was myself all those years, but a little less spontaneous...
I have said sternly "no!" to littlek re the computer and the thoughtless roomie, but just a year ago a pal in Napa let me use hers as much as I wanted, back when I had the eye extravaganza. So, I think one picks and chooses when the big NO applies - I would actually let a real friend use my computer, once in a while.
But, for most people, nooooooo, grrrrrrrrrrr!
So.... she never used the computer yesterday and she didn't ask again until just now. She asked if she could use it to write a 2 page paper. I said she could, but the collective voice of a2k was clamoring in my head so I continued by telling her that it made me uncomfortable.... more later - my brother's here.
<thanks all!>
she borrowed a friends laptop - they let her bring it here to use......
hey, i'll sell her my old laptop for mere $700. how about that? on the other hand, i think i'll give it to my father as a gift instead. after all, the V-day starts in 7 minutes or when and love is supposed to be in the air. better go hide to bed. lk, i wish you could lock your room when you go away, but poor animools would be not so happy. start a calendar clearly marked LYNN's DATE OF DEPARTURE, with a countdown - you know so you can cross out each date with a red fat sharpie. Put it right above your computer. That oughtta keep her out.
I got my point across, she got a loaner. She didn't want to be bothered to go to the computer lab or check in on the possibility of renting one from the university - if she's not that worried about it, I'm not going to be.
Important lesson here!
She's skilled at making people her patsies -- if it's not you, it'll be someone else.
Let it be someone else!
That's great, littlek. Glad it worked out for you. Now you just have a couple months left to deal with her ****, right?
I was horrified last night when she started talking about how she hated moving and she just wanted to stay put for a while. I know she doesn't like living here and wouldn't extend her stay, but it terrified me!
As it is, the other housemate told me she was thinking of staying for the summer (we thought she'd be leaving at the end of May).
She'll be away for a week (back home) and then longer (to China) over the next couple months.
She will move out in just over 1 week. Thank god. My housemate can barely contain her angst toward her. I'm not fairing much better.
Tonight we thought she'd gone out with a friend when he left our apt, but she'd stayed. We started bitching quietly, but then got louder as we got into it. She was in the other room. I'm feeling lousy.
Stop feeling bad. She's a pain in the ass. It's unfortunate that she might have heard you guys, but it might not be such a bad thing in the long run. Maybe she needed to hear that. Maybe it will help her.
Life is too short to beat yourself up over what you can't change.
Now, if only I could follow my own advice...
I'm not feeling bad in the grand scheme, I'm feeling like I don't want to run into her tonight on the way to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
