Thu 6 Jan, 2005 02:44 pm
25 signs that you have grown up and OLD !
1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those%&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM!
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt.
26. "Getting a little action" means your Raisin Bran kicked in.
Actually one does not apply to me – but that is more because we have cats that eat house plants so I guess that means 25 does not either as I did find one sign that doesn’t apply.
27. You say "you might be too young to remember this" and the adult you're talking to nods politely and says um I think I've heard of it...
This happened to me yesterday.
<misc conversation about L.A.>
Me: Yeah, I used to work in THE Valley
Young person: <no response>
Me: You know, like the movie "Valley Girl"... you might be too young to remember it...
YP: <polite pondering>
Me: "Like, you know, gag me with a spoon...?"
YP: <blank expression> Hmm, I might have heard of it...
28. When the clerk calls you "sir" or "ma'am" you don't turn around to
see whom they're talking to.
30. You offer your ID to the clerk when buying beer but she hands it back and says 'oh, I don't need that.'
31- While standing because there are no seats, someone offers you his.
32. Instead if having to listen to your parents saying "Live and learn", you're listening to yourself saying this to your own kids.
32- Addendum to Montana's remark............You catch yourself saying, much too often, "When I was your age".
33. Every morning there's a little more face to wash and a little less hair to comb.
33- You have a lot of "good drugs" in your house,......................drugs for hypertension, drugs for high cholesterol, etc.
Stop that Phoenix. I changed my last post to 32 after seeing that you beat me to 31, and then you go and do it again, lol.
34. Instead of telling your parent that things are different in our generation, you'r kids are telling you this.
This actually happened today. Damn know it all kids, lol.
35. You've learned never to pass a urinal or trust a fart.
There she goes again, haha!
35- Your kids tell you that songs that you think are current, are really oldies.
Montana- What the hell, we're having a good time!
Today my son tells me that his generation is smarter than mine, because I grew up in the 70's when everyone was on drugs, heehee!