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You're Getting Old

 
 
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 02:44 pm
25 signs that you have grown up and OLD !


1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those%&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM!
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 2,433 • Replies: 56
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George
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 02:50 pm
26. "Getting a little action" means your Raisin Bran kicked in.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 02:52 pm
Actually one does not apply to me – but that is more because we have cats that eat house plants so I guess that means 25 does not either as I did find one sign that doesn’t apply.
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 03:02 pm
27. You say "you might be too young to remember this" and the adult you're talking to nods politely and says um I think I've heard of it...

This happened to me yesterday.

<misc conversation about L.A.>

Me: Yeah, I used to work in THE Valley

Young person: <no response>

Me: You know, like the movie "Valley Girl"... you might be too young to remember it...

YP: <polite pondering>

Me: "Like, you know, gag me with a spoon...?"

YP: <blank expression> Hmm, I might have heard of it...
0 Replies
 
George
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 03:08 pm
28. When the clerk calls you "sir" or "ma'am" you don't turn around to
see whom they're talking to.
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Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 03:13 pm
29- When the store clerk gives you the senior discount, without you asking for it! Sad
0 Replies
 
FreeDuck
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 03:15 pm
30. You offer your ID to the clerk when buying beer but she hands it back and says 'oh, I don't need that.'
0 Replies
 
Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 03:22 pm
31- While standing because there are no seats, someone offers you his.
0 Replies
 
Montana
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 03:22 pm
32. Instead if having to listen to your parents saying "Live and learn", you're listening to yourself saying this to your own kids.
0 Replies
 
Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 03:23 pm
32- Addendum to Montana's remark............You catch yourself saying, much too often, "When I was your age".

0 Replies
 
George
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 03:26 pm
33. Every morning there's a little more face to wash and a little less hair to comb.
0 Replies
 
Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 03:26 pm
33- You have a lot of "good drugs" in your house,......................drugs for hypertension, drugs for high cholesterol, etc.
0 Replies
 
Montana
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 03:27 pm
Stop that Phoenix. I changed my last post to 32 after seeing that you beat me to 31, and then you go and do it again, lol.
0 Replies
 
Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 03:27 pm
34- You are shocked at how clothing manufacturers are skimping on fabric! Laughing
0 Replies
 
Montana
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 03:29 pm
34. Instead of telling your parent that things are different in our generation, you'r kids are telling you this.

This actually happened today. Damn know it all kids, lol.
0 Replies
 
George
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 03:30 pm
35. You've learned never to pass a urinal or trust a fart.
0 Replies
 
Montana
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 03:30 pm
There she goes again, haha!
0 Replies
 
Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 03:31 pm
35- Your kids tell you that songs that you think are current, are really oldies.
0 Replies
 
Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 03:31 pm
Montana- What the hell, we're having a good time!
0 Replies
 
Montana
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2005 03:33 pm
Today my son tells me that his generation is smarter than mine, because I grew up in the 70's when everyone was on drugs, heehee!
0 Replies
 
 

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