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Being bullied by younger brother

 
 
Reply Sun 12 Nov, 2017 09:15 pm
I'm a 20 year old man who was looking after my 11 year old brother, when he challenged me to a play fight. I thought it would be in good fun and accepted.

To my surprise, I get completely dominated and end up submitting 4 times in a row. The next day, he randomly pins me to the ground and wraps his thighs around my waist. Again, I submit but he says he won't let go until I say that "I'm his b*tch". He's completely crushing my waist so I just say it, but instead of letting go he forces me to say even more things like calling my girlfriend a "retard" and so on.

Eventually I can't breathe and throw up on the carpet much to his amusement. I've never been so embarrassed in my life. I don't know what to do, he's a lot stronger than me. I've struggled with anorexia in the past and this is him in the linked picture below, he looks a lot stronger than me:
https://imgur.com/a/ZhUwu

Since then he's been trying to boss me around and bully me, I can't even do anything about it. He's spat on me, choked me out, punched me etc. I want to bulk so I can protect myself but what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Just let him walk all over me? I need help, my dad isn't taking it seriously and I can't move out.
 
View best answer, chosen by petyrbaelish
jespah
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  3  
Reply Mon 13 Nov, 2017 08:16 am
@petyrbaelish,
Tell your dad as many times as you need to. In the meantime, tell your little brother to **** off as often as you have to.

Is your mother in the picture at all? Then she should know about this as well.

It's not just the domination and bullying thing (although those are bad enough); it's also that he continues on and on and doesn't seem to get that he needs to stop. This is an impulse control issue and who knows what it could lead to? Touching and smacking around people without their consent tends to land one in jail.

If your parents have any sense at all, they need to intervene before your brother ends up arrested. And, by the way, there's no reason you can't tell your folks that if the **** continues you are calling the cops or CPS. You do not have to take it - and you don't have to become permanently injured if it comes down to that - and they are not parenting your brother properly if they are letting him getting away with crap like this.
petyrbaelish
 
  2  
Reply Mon 13 Nov, 2017 12:29 pm
@jespah,
Thanks for the answer. Telling him to **** off doesn't really work, it feels like he's the older brother. I've been attending Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes for a couple of weeks now, I go 3 times a week and spend hours every day watching YouTube videos on it but he just easily overpowers me every time. It's got to the point where he's bossing me around and I'm not even protesting anymore.

And no, my mother isn't around. There's definitely an impulse control issue, I know some kids roughhouse but this is more than that. There's like a sadism element to it, when I started throwing up he didn't even let go straight away he continued squeezing for maybe like 20 seconds more. He doesn't stop until I'm completely humiliated.

I could maybe use the police as a threat but there's no way I'd actually go through with it, it would only get my dad in trouble. I've told him that I'm not looking after him anymore, but it's kind of hard since he's always in the house.
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Mon 13 Nov, 2017 12:49 pm
@petyrbaelish,
Oh boy. I'm sorry this is happening. I would also suggest doing whatever you can to make it possible to leave. You don't need this in your life - nobody does.

I used to roughhouse with my brother up until maybe age 10 (and I'm female) but yeah, we didn't do that.

The more separate you are from your younger brother, the better. But of course you live under the same roof so it can't be 100%. But can your younger brother be persuaded into activities. He's partly acting out due to boredom. If he could play football or the guitar or whatever, he'd have other outlets and, at the same time, he would be away from the home and you'd get some peace.

I would suggest getting a lock for your door, too. Keep yourself safe and unmolested when you're in your room.
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Mon 13 Nov, 2017 01:00 pm
@petyrbaelish,
Oh and I just noticed you do BJJ. My cousin does, too, and he loves it.
0 Replies
 
petyrbaelish
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Nov, 2017 01:24 pm
@jespah,
The only way I can leave is if I go to a hostel, shared accommodation is out of the question I can't afford that right now.

I'm sure you were more brutal in your roughhousing, I can tell by your profile pic Smile

He's quite into swimming as it is. He's tried playing the guitar in the past, trust me I did not get any peace, he sucked. Also, getting a lock probably isn't the best idea considering I'm top bunk and he's bottom bunk Razz

And yeah, BJJ is fun. Just really confusing, there's a lot more to it than I expected.

Edit: I might actually move to a hostel if he continues, I'm tired of being a bitch.
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