'Nother Open Letter to a2k readers, f'not God too
[as well as all them dumb Software Mavens]:
AGAIN my most sincere gratitude to Billy and crew of out [beloved, internationally acclaimed A2K for this opportunity to talk to Fellow Believers in the Vast Beyond of The Web and to address My Critics ['cept where I 'plain 'bout them millions of Software Glitches. Billy why aren't they drivin' you as nuts as they are me?] !! here under 'Ask a Q'. [No, not the critics, the Glitches.]
; but turnin' to The Deity:
As a pantheist I'm accused of athiesm, where nothin' could be further from the truth. Coming back down Seventh 's'morn from our 'x'llent Family Doc Yennick and glancing up at that community nestled up there in the hills [of Victorville, Ca], I thanked God once more for all the Good Stuff She's done for me over the last few years, if not my entire life.
God, in spite of all that beer I usta drink, then go drivin' !! But 'pecially during the last few years of 'Focus factor,' to which I attribute hundreds of new Letters, my upper innards roilin' 24 hours a day [Tho wow, how I wish your a2k typography 'lowed easier emphases !!].
[But wanna thank ya God, 'cause I know Y' read a2k, for not killin' me, I deserved it !! But thanks too for all those new, wonderful and exotic imports that my sons Eelyo Toccs and Nylio Kakies I appreciate sdo [sp] much. Guys, lookin' fwd to that next visit, I've got some good'n's !!]
Dr Yennik ['guised in response to many 'quests for privacy, as well as a fear of lawsuits] had suggested that I cut down from two TABS a day to one [the suggested dose bein' 4. However, at l lb each,…]. So I'm gonna quit altogether, so you might never hear from me again [How lucky y'all ! ]. But back to my theme; No, I'm no atheist. The 'apodictical' in that compound adjectival exaggeration meaning 'simple, ' we existential pantheists maintain how very apparent the conclusion that God and The Universe aren't two separate, discrete entities, an idea jus' fullovit. Full, that is, of contradiction and paradox. Like so many of your 'AaQ' Writers, baffled by the q, 'If God is so good, why things down here are so awful?'
Well, FELLA, IT'S 'CAUSE SHE CAN'T DO THE IMPOSSIBLE. THAT'S SO DAM' OBVIOUS I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU GUYS can't see it. She did what She could and She's doin' what She can, but She can't do what She can't do 'cause it can't be done !! She's The Universe, She's Us, and I love Her too. Why She lemme survive all that drunk'n drivin', p'raps just to allow me this final Letter to the a3k. Thanks again, Lady !!
If you a2k'er object to the sex thing, it's purposeful, I like to see ya get mad, all you TAT !! [If y' wonder 'bout all them caps, it's 'cause of Software Glitch # 55,683,909 (f) that let 'em (and God, too) place Caps Lock light 'way up there to the upper right, w/ the key down here at our lil' finger. Or was it (h) ?] And more about 'FOCUS factor' 'n Later Letter [YOU IDIOTS.THEN,there's placing it right under the Tab key. How can'y be so incredibly stupid !!].
[See how She lets you let near anythin' go in the typefaces.] Then in closing, thanks today, God, for tweakin' PEC Billy's judgment far enough to permit the pub of this Q ['f'tis] !! [Billy, yes, mebbe too long, but 'mem', y' can delete all 'em '[…]" 's's w/ no change in meanin']
[Home of the Most Persistent Critic]
[Oh God, just a final word: You jus' went too far when you let 'em make the 'rn' look just like the 'm.' So when I say, "Coming back down Seventh 's'morn," it looks like I'm sayin' ",,,comin' down with 'his mom'. ' Whaddya think, God, I'm some kinda wife swapper?]
[Oh and TAT, short for TAATANE,' or 'Terribly Angry at All
times About Nearly Everything.']
[Yeah, and Software Fellas: That 'sdo,' 's a missp of 'so,' 't'sjus' that we hit the 'd' and' 's' at the same time w/ same li'l finger. I know it's tough, but Ask ur Boss.]
Oh and God, God, God, if Y' have tyhe slightest influence over the a2k software, please please please make the bottom of the Edit wondow from jumpin' up, down, up, down....
...and golly, just one more real 'port' thing: When 'flag f', please please find 'em below the bottom !! It's sdo easy.... Oh, and tell 'em about 'sdo', 'nd,' isd,' 'a d,' etc etc etc They're all so obvious missps. You gotta make them Speller Progr's's smarter !