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I broke up with him and he didn’t want to rekindle. Now he says it’s hard for him.

 
 
Reply Mon 30 Oct, 2017 12:48 pm
I broke up with my ex a month ago. A week and half passed and I realized we didn’t really try to fix things and that I made a mistake. I went over to speak to him and we talked for about an hr. Mid sentence he cuts me off saying he had done me a disservice by allowing me to come over and that he’s happy now and he’s mentally moved on. I said okay, grabbed by keys, then left.

20 min later he messaged me. He was apologizing saying it’s just hard being broken up with and he was in the mindset of moving on so it’s hard to revert back. I don’t respond. I get another lengthy message 30 min later. This time saying how we have a lot of issues that he doesn’t we’ll get over and breaking up was really hard for him and he wanted to stay but couldn’t. I don’t respond to that either. I get a third message saying how the stress and breaking up really f*cked with his head and made him physically worn down. Again, I don’t respond. So three messages that night. The next day I get another message. I respond and say I love him and we need better tools to communicate. He responded saying we argue too much. I don’t respond to that either. Later that evening I get another messsgr. Again, I don’t respond. He wasn’t talking about fixing things so I just assumed his messages were breadcrumbs. A week later he sent me message saying this was hard for him. I replied back it’s hard for me too. That was a week and half ago. He’s been looking at my social media non stop. I posted a birthday post for my best friend’s birthday and he was the first one to like it.
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centrox
 
  1  
Reply Mon 30 Oct, 2017 02:47 pm
Sounds like you're still playing games with him, and although he is still feeling attached and interested, he doesn't want to go back. He is right.
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 30 Oct, 2017 02:59 pm
From what you have written here, I think you handled it just right.

You refused get into the boxing ring with him. Yet, you allowed him to express himself.

Perhaps a third party to mediate this would help. Would you and him consider couples counseling?
jebrooks1988
 
  1  
Reply Tue 31 Oct, 2017 09:08 pm
@PUNKEY,
Yes, I would. I was actually thinking about that but it seemed like a silly idea. I think communication, or lack there of, is a big issue for us.
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dannmann1992
 
  1  
Reply Tue 31 Oct, 2017 09:11 pm
@centrox,
How is OP playing games? He was giving breadcrumbs and she didn’t engage.
If anything he is playing games.

He said he’s happy and mentally moved on? That’s a hilarious joke.

He was super butt hurt that she broke up with him so he returned the favor. If you moved on and you’re happy there’s no need to communicate any further. He’s so full of it. He bluffed and she called him out on it by saying okay and leaving. Now he doesn’t know how to get back in because it’s clear that he does.
centrox
 
  2  
Reply Wed 1 Nov, 2017 12:59 pm
@dannmann1992,
dannmann1992 wrote:
How is OP playing games?

Quote:
I don’t respond. I get another lengthy message 30 min later. This time saying how we have a lot of issues that he doesn’t we’ll get over and breaking up was really hard for him and he wanted to stay but couldn’t. I don’t respond to that either. I get a third message saying how the stress and breaking up really f*cked with his head and made him physically worn down. Again, I don’t respond. ... He responded saying we argue too much. I don’t respond to that either.


Now she wonders why he doesn't want to "rekindle". Maybe she made his kindling wet with all these "don't responds".
dannmann1992
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Nov, 2017 05:28 pm
@centrox,
He said he had moved on BEFORE she started to ignore hi. That’s not playing games. What else was OP supposed to do? There’s nothing to say to someone once they’ve said they’ve moved on-unless it’s along the lines of I want you back.
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