@Olivier5,
The full report is a great read, and presents a picture far more nuanced and evolutive than what some posters have recently said on this thread. Life is complicated.
I've always liked Peter Hain.
Quote:Retail billionaire Sir Philip Green has been named in Parliament as the businessman accused by a newspaper of sexual harassment.
Peter Hain, who identified him in the Lords, said it was his duty to name him, given the "serious and repeated" nature of the allegations.
On Tuesday, the Telegraph ran an article accusing a leading businessman of racial and sexual abuse of staff.
A legal injunction prevented the Telegraph from publishing his identity.
The Court of Appeal's ruling on Tuesday, blocking publication of Sir Philip's name, remains in place, but Lord Hain's statement, made under parliamentary privilege, has been widely reported in the UK media.
Lord Hain said publication of the story was "clearly in the public interest".
The Daily Telegraph said it had spent eight months investigating allegations of bullying, intimidation and sexual harassment made against the man in question.
The newspaper reported that interviews with five members of staff revealed that victims had been paid "substantial sums" in return for legal commitments not to discuss their alleged experiences.
The BBC has not been able to verify the allegations contained in the Telegraph's report.
Lord Hain said he had been contacted by someone "intimately involved in the case".
He said that given the use of non-disclosure agreements (NDAs) "to conceal the truth about serious and repeated sexual harassment, racist abuse and bullying", he felt it was his duty under parliamentary privilege to name Sir Philip as the individual in question.
Parliamentary privilege protects MPs or peers from being prosecuted over statements made in the Commons or Lords and is one of the oldest rights enshrined in British law.
Sir Philip has been contacted by the BBC for comment, but did not immediately respond.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-45981436
My granddaughter shared this on Facebook. I don't know the author, but I feel she would not mind my sharing here. I did not want to push myself into her life, so did not comment to her.
November 26 at 10:29 AM
"To the other adults in the room this is fine.
A grown man looms behind my three-year-old daughter. Occasionally he will poke or tickle her and she responds by shrinking. Smaller and smaller with each unwanted advance. I imagine her trying to become slight enough to slip out of her booster seat and slide under the table.
When my mother views this scene, she sees playful taunting. A grandfather engaging with his granddaughter.
“Mae.” My tone cuts through the din of a familiar family gathering together. She does not look at me.
“Mae.” I start again. “You can tell him no Mae. If this isn’t okay you could say something like, Papa, please back up—I would like some space for my body.”
As I say the words, my step-father, the bulldog, leans in a little closer, hovering just above her head. His tenebrous grin taunts me as my daughter accordions her 30-pound frame hoping to escape his tickles and hot breath.
I repeat myself with a little more force. She finally peeks up at me.
“Mama…can you say it?” Surprise. A three-year-old-girl doesn’t feel comfortable defending herself against a grown man. A man that has stated he loves and cares for her over and over again, and yet, stands here showing zero concern for her wishes about her own body. I ready myself for battle.
“Papa! Please back up! Mae would like some space for her body.” My voice is firm but cheerful. He does not move.
“Papa. I should not have to ask you twice. Please back up. Mae is uncomfortable.”
“Oh, relax,” he says, ruffling her wispy blonde hair. The patriarchy stands, patronizing me in my own damn kitchen. “We’re just playin’.” His southern drawl does not charm me.
“No. You were playing. She was not. She’s made it clear that she would like some space, now please back up.”
“I can play how I want with her.” He says, straightening his posture. My chest tightens. The sun-bleached hairs on my arms stand at attention as this man, who has been my father figure for more than three decades, enters the battle ring.
“No. No, you cannot play however you want with her. It’s not okay to ‘have fun’ with someone who does not want to play.” He opens his mouth to respond but my rage is palpable through my measured response. I wonder if my daughter can feel it. I hope she can.
He retreats to the living room and my daughter stares up at me. Her eyes, a starburst of blue and hazel, shine with admiration for her mama. The dragon has been slayed (for now). My own mother is silent. She refuses to make eye contact with me.
This is the same woman who shut me down when I told her about a sexual assault I had recently come to acknowledge. This is the same woman who was abducted by a carful of strangers as she walked home one night. She fought and screamed until they kicked her out. Speeding away, they ran over her ankle and left her with a lifetime of physical and emotional pain. This is the same woman who said nothing, who could say nothing as her boss and his friends sexually harassed her for years. This is the same woman who married one of those friends.
When my mother views this scene, she sees her daughter overreacting. She sees me “making a big deal out of nothing.” Her concerns lie more in maintaining the status quo and cradling my step-dad’s toxic ego than in protecting the shrinking three-year-old in front of her.
When I view this scene, I am both bolstered and dismayed. My own strength and refusal to keep quiet is the result of hundreds, probably thousands of years of women being mistreated, and their protests ignored. It is the result of watching my own mother suffer quietly at the hands of too many men. It is the result of my own mistreatment and my solemn vow to be part of ending this cycle.
It would be so easy to see a little girl being taught that her wishes don’t matter. That her body is not her own. That even people she loves will mistreat and ignore her. And that all of this is “okay” in the name of other people, men, having fun.
But. What I see instead is a little girl watching her mama. I see a little girl learning that her voice matters. That her wishes matter. I see a little girl learning that she is allowed and expected to say no. I see her learning that this is not okay.
I hope my mom is learning something, too.
November 21, 2018
Fighting the patriarchy one grandpa at a time
By Lisa Norgren
Does that apply to grandmothers too? How would this scene play out if the genders were reversed.
Grandmothers are famous for kissing, hugging, pinching and squeezing. I am going to guess that there is more unwanted physical affection from grandmothers than there is from grandfathers. If a kid can say "no" to grandparental affection (and I actually think they should be able to), the gender of the offending grandparent shouldn't not matter, should it?
My daughter is expected to kiss her aunts on her mothers side. They always respond with a hug and affection. It is a cultural thing... everyone does it. My daughter does it even for the aunt of whom she is not too fond. If she decided she did not want to, I would support her (it would cause drama in family). But she goes along with it.
Is this about a child's ability to say "No", or is this about gender politics?
@maxdancona,
The thrust of the message is respecting a person's body and space. Since she did not have a son, she wrote about what she experienced concerning her daughter. It does not take a genius to see that the lesson can be applied to anybody.
@maxdancona,
The politics are from you. Other than that the thread is about a person's right to say no.
@edgarblythe,
The phrase I used was "gender politics"... and my claim is that this thread is all about gender.
It is a fair question;
should affection from grandmothers and grandfathers be considered in the same way? If you are going to attack grandfathers, but don't attack grandmothers for doing the same thing... how is that anything other than gender politics?
If it is really about "the right to say 'no'", then the gender of the offending grandmother or grandfather doesn't matter.
@maxdancona,
Have at it. You've already made the thread your own platform to rant from. Give us a good primal scream or two.
@edgarblythe,
No scream... just a chuckle. I love irony.
I wish you could explain the apparent inconsistency in your thinking.
@maxdancona,
Kids don't like old people too much, in general and gender makes no difference in my experience. They tend to hate an overly affectionate grandma just as much as an overly affectionate grandpa.
I could tell a bit from the personal. My grandson is grown, now. But, as a child, his paternal grandmother was obsessed with loving him. Likewise her daughters. When he would return from time spent with them, all I had to do was look in his direction. He would move away and say, "Don't touch. Don't touch." Any idiot ought to know it goes for all genders without spending months and hundreds of posts chest beating over it.
@edgarblythe,
Your post included the phrase "
fighting the patriarchy one grandfather at a time." It seems to me that grandmothers should be included. Maybe grandmothers are part of the patriarchy?
It is clear this is gender politics... and the actual point (that kids should not be harassed) is lost.
That is the problem with the MeToo movement. Is this about stopping abusive behavior... or is this about gender politics? I don't think you can have it both ways.
@maxdancona,
You are one of those persons who will note a particular observation and complain because it does not include every conceivable possibility of expression. The reason it does not mention other forms of abuse is because it is centered on the one topic. If she had witnessed the grandmother doing the same thing her response would have been a modified version of the same thing. Be an adult and accept it.
@edgarblythe,
Quote:If she had witnessed the grandmother doing the same thing her response would have been a modified version of the same thing.
I doubt this very much.... unless you consider a grandmother to be part of the Patriarchy. The MeToo movement has been hijacked by gender politics.
I am sure you could find stories of kids not wanting to be hugged by their grandmothers. You would never post such a story. The reason you are posting these articles (instead of many others) is because they support your political narrative.
Do you have grandchildren, Edgar?
Yeah, yeah. I'm bored with you, for now.
@maxdancona,
Grandmothers are part of the matriarchy, evidently...
Quote:Lyon and Norway forward Ada Hegerberg had just won the inaugural Women's Ballon d'Or when the host, DJ Martin Solveig, asked her to twerk.
The award - voted for by journalists - recognises the best players in the world.
Real Madrid's Luca Modric won the men's category, and Pars St-Germain's Kylian Mbappe won the youth prize.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-europe-46435585/ballon-d-or-host-s-awkward-moment-with-first-ever-female-winner
Click on link for cringing video.
