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Why do we feel uncomfortable looking into someone's eyes?

 
 
Reply Mon 4 Sep, 2017 01:42 am
Anyone here has experienced the same thing before?

I find it more difficult when I'm alone in a room with someone that I don't know well or when I'm out of topics to talk about.
I almost feel like I'm being rude or intimidating to look in their eyes then.

Is it just my problem? Please share your ideas and experiences with me!
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Type: Question • Score: 8 • Views: 2,443 • Replies: 13
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roger
 
  2  
Reply Mon 4 Sep, 2017 01:48 am
@yurjen77,
I don't know either, but it's usually true. Among the Navajo (Native American tribe) eye contact is considered extremely rude. Almost as much as pointing at someone.
yurjen77
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Sep, 2017 01:55 am
@roger,
So it isn't just me that feels like that at least?
0 Replies
 
rosborne979
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Sep, 2017 07:04 am
@yurjen77,
Do you feel the opposite is true if you are talking to someone?
yurjen77
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Sep, 2017 07:53 am
@rosborne979,
Do you mean the person I'm talking to feels uncomfortable looking into my eyes as well?
rosborne979
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Sep, 2017 06:22 pm
@yurjen77,
yurjen77 wrote:

Do you mean the person I'm talking to feels uncomfortable looking into my eyes as well?

No. Does eye contact feel normal to you when you are talking to them?

My point is that I think eye contact carries with it an implied contact or conversation. So if you make eye contact but you don't interact then it's a mixed message and therefor uncomfortable.
0 Replies
 
natureboi
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Apr, 2018 05:09 pm
@yurjen77,
I hate it whenever the other person doesn't look at me ( eyes) when I'm speaking, it gives kina mix emotions that they ain't interested listening to me etc. But I do feel uncomfortable when I have accidental eye contact with stranger. I just shake it off by "smiling"Smile
roger
 
  2  
Reply Thu 19 Apr, 2018 09:15 pm
@natureboi,
I've had similar experience. I often stare off into space and suddenly realize someone thinks I've been staring at them. I also shake it off by smiling and a sort of hand shrug.
0 Replies
 
tsarstepan
 
  2  
Reply Fri 20 Apr, 2018 09:27 am
@natureboi,
natureboi wrote:

I hate it whenever the other person doesn't look at me ( eyes) when I'm speaking, it gives kina mix emotions that they ain't interested listening to me etc. ]

I'm glad that you have a very healthy emotional and social intelligence to rely on. Other people ... not so much. Don't take it so personally when one feels really uncomfortable maintaining conversation long eye contact with you. Smile
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Fri 3 Aug, 2018 03:36 pm
@tsarstepan,
Eye contact is a form of connection between two people. People are uncomfortable when they feel there is too much, or too little connection for the situation. What they feel is too much or too little, is dependent on a number of factors.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, healthy emotions aren't always the reasons for lack of eye contact. Other reasons can include:
- trying to recall something (you sometimes see people staring off into space)
- cultural habits (some cultures don't look authority figures in the eye)
- the person experiences life primarily through their emotions (you will often find these people looking down at particular moments, not because they are uncomfortable, but because they are looking inside themselves, to ascertain how they feel about something)



0 Replies
 
Dr Jo
 
  -1  
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2019 12:42 am
@yurjen77,
Probably you think your looks are heavy when you look at yourself in the mirror.

Don't think that you are thinking the same what they are thinking which is again your own thinking. And try making your thoughts as nice and neat about what you think they are thinking about you. Believe in this and relax.

Look it to anybody eyes. All the best
laughoutlood
 
  2  
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2019 02:45 am
@Dr Jo,
Quote:
Don't think that you are thinking the same what they are thinking which is again your own thinking.


Think again.
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jan, 2019 08:22 am
@laughoutlood,
laughoutlood wrote:

Quote:
Don't think that you are thinking the same what they are thinking which is again your own thinking.


Think again.

That's enough to induce two or three aneurysms.
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Jan, 2019 04:32 pm
@tsarstepan,
That's what I was thinking.

Wait, does that mean what I'm thinking you're thinking isn't your thinking but my thinking?
0 Replies
 
 

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