I have a low sex drive and my wife is unsatisfied with me

My wife and I have been together for 8 years and I love her so much. We're happy and successful together in everyday life, running our own business, talking every day about anything that comes along except when it comes to our relationship. She is considering a divorce now that we have gone so long in a sexless marriage....I understand all of the psychology and triggers behind sex and the need for it...part of me agrees with her that we should separate because I do not fulfill her needs but I love her so much and want this to work!
She is my best friend and knows everything about me. I was raped when I was 11 years old and the trauma and fears that resulted from that experience still haunt me to this day. I was nearly killed in the experience and I cant overcome certain thoughts that run through my mind. I realize she is not the man who raped me but certain things she does during sex forces me to relive the trauma...I shut down completely! I do not enjoy sex, it actually angers me and makes me feel dirty. My body has the psyical reactions to my hot wife, I am turned on physically but I cannot enjoy the act itself. Sex terrifies me with her but I love her so much! Why do I feel this way?
I haven't undergone any therapy to resolve my issue with sex, and I will seek out any help I can in order to get better for myself and my wife. I also suffer from major depression and anxiety could any of this also contribute to my feelings? Please help I love and want to satisfy my wife.