I cannot have sex

Note: I am not a doctor.

Talk to your doctor, find out if he or she has recommendations. Sometimes it's arousal, but not always, so check to be sure it's nothing specifically physical. And if your doctor suggests therapy, please strongly consider going.

Now keep in mind, there are people who are asexual, and you may very well be one of them. There's nothing wrong with that. But they don't seem to be asexual due to pain -- there are asexuals who've had sex to see what the fuss was all about and there are others in relationships who will have sex to please a partner and be close to them but it doesn't do much if anything for them physically. And of course there are folks who abstain 100%.

But again, I repeat, those tend to be choices and not something they're being boxed into due to pain.

So make an appointment. Your doctor has seen and heard it all, and they are required by law in much of the world to keep your medical stuff 100% private.

Relax the tension and anxiety,start out with massage and light kissing all over.after twenty minutes of that you should be able to get a little aroused and things will loosen up.

Without Love and Commitment - your response is quite normal. Once you love your spouse and are committed to them you will relax and actually enjoy sex. Your response is quite typical. We are emotionally wired to not relax till we are giving love and in committed relationship - so often sex with out the love and commitment is actually damaging to the person. Damaging because they can develop a pleasure in masturbation but it lacks the enjoyment they would and could have if they followed a better way and masturbation robs them of the meaning of sex.

I have been experiencing a similar issue, I have tried so many times that I lost count. It's getting worse because I'm more frustrated nowadays