How do I reach him?

He's using you as a doormat. And you're letting him.

If you had not lost your virginity at an early age, he would have found something else to lord over you.

People who care about others don't behave and speak this way. You do not deserve his contempt or his lectures.

Please get out of this relationship. This asshole (for that's what he is) will find fault with you forever and he will nitpick you to death on things you can't even change.

He says the girl how lost virginity while she was only 15 years old is not material for mariage.

Who cares what he says? He's no one special who has any say so in what women should or should not do.

Frankly, he sounds like a complete douche bag.

You are in control of your own body and when you have, or do not have sex. Period, end stop.

How old was he when he had sex the first time?

I guess it's ok though, that he's had sex with you because you passed some imaginary milestone that made it ok with him.

How do you know that he would found something else to lord over me? I dont think so,he is not like that,I know him. He doesen't insult me and doesen't yell at me but I see that he is disapointed. He says that no one want to know that his girl or wife had sex while she was child. He says that his opinion is shared by 90% of mens and it's normal to think like that. Maybe he is right, maybe I did it to early.

He doesn't know **** about men's opinions or women's sex lives or when they do or "should" start.

Since he says he won't marry you, then if that is what you want out of the relationship, why stay? Why not venture out into the world and find someone who won't be such a jerk about something you can never, ever change?

Your body. Your choice.

And yes, I do know he would find something else. Because finding fault for something that cannot be changed, and continuing to find fault with it, is nasty business.

By the way, did you ever wonder why he's staying with you if he thinks you're so irreparably damaged? Does he tell you what a wonderful favor he's doing you? Does he tell you no one else will ever want you (wait, he already does that, by claiming "90%" - a number he pulled out of his ass - of all men share his opinion)?

These are isolating behaviors and they are designed to tear down your self-esteem.

Hey, stay with him or not. It's no skin off my nose. Nor is it any threat to my 25-year marriage.

I care what he says beacuse he is my boyfriend,I love him and his opinion is important to me. He is not douche bag and don't insult him you even dont't know guy. He had first sex when he was 17 year old but he says that it is not matter and it's not same when girl had sex to early and when men had it.

The guy's a scum bag. He's setting up an excuse to treat you like a doormat. Get out while the getting is good.

We are 1 year in relationship but he learned 10 days ago that I lost wirginity so early... so I didn't wonder why he's staying with me beacuse all this happened recently. He can think that I am dameged, slut or something like that but he aslo can love me in same time. He never says to me what a wonderful favor he's doing to me and he never tell me that no one else want me.

He is very handsome and bulid like Superman,tall, strong and muscular. Before he found out about my past he was wonderful,he led me to trips,excursions,he was so nice and romantic,he told me that I was most beautiful girl in the world...but now he hardly talk to me. I am crazy about him and I dont want to lose him.

This guy is shaming you.

He wants you to feel unworthy because you made a decision about something you did at age 15. Now he is withholding his attention and making you feel like you are not deserving of HIM.

This is the behavior of an abuser. This is how it starts. Next he will start on how you dress or speak. His plan is to tear you down so you are totally dependent on him and his perception of you.

Please get some counseling. Your "Superman" has you spellbound. He really is evil.

He is not evil,you don't know him!

That's the sort of thing a douchebag says.

That's your opinion.

So he's sexist, too.

He's an awesome catch.

what we know of your boyfriend comes from your posts and really, he sounds pretty horrible.

he does not respect you and your history.

you can choose to stay with him but you're not going to get a lot of support from people who have read your description of him

he does not sound nice or kind or supportive. he does not appear to be loving

re-read your own descriptions of what he says to you - it is very bad.

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Think about why you want to be with such a disrespectful man. Don't you deserve a better man?

Yes it is.

Which is what you came here for.

You came for others advise and options, and you don't lolike what you're hearing.

Tough break.

The right time to start is at puberty ie around 14. Your BF was just a bit late, that's all.

Tess of the d'Urbervilles faces a similar reaction when she tells her husband of her past.

"I thought, Angel, that you loved me--me, my very self! If it is I you do love, O how can it be that you look and speak so? It frightens me! Having begun to love you, I love you for ever--in all changes, in all disgraces, because you are yourself. I ask no more. Then how can you, O my own husband, stop loving me?"



It doesn't end well.

You have gotten some great advice here - it is up to you whether you choose it or not. These people responding on here have no reason not to tell you what they think and share their experiences and knowledge - most on here who answered you are a good deal older than you and have experienced much more life and have gone through enough adult experiences that you might just want to sit back and think a little on it.

They are not being "mean" towards your boyfriend. They have heard, seen and/or experienced similar things in their lifetime and are simply speaking from experience. They have no vested interest in you or your boyfriend other than maybe wanting to help another person - especially someone who could potentially be in an emotional abusive situation.

You came on here complaining on how your boyfriend treated you - and pretty much all older experienced people came to very similar conclusions. If you are in doubt then - you could also reach out to some trusted unbiased individuals you may know - I didn't get your age, but I think you said you were somewhere around 21 - are you in school? University? See if there is a counselor you can speak with? Or is there a counselor you can speak with ? That would be an unbiased qualified individual.

I say this - because it does on the surface it does sound like emotional abuse or at the least someone trying to control you.

And what do you think about your relationship you had at 15? Did you truly care for the boy? Were you a mature 15 year old? Was it a positive relationship? Do you feel ok about it and if you do not why? (hopefully it isn't because of this current boyfriend).

On the flip side - I would ask him if prior to this knowledge - what did he think of you? Did he like you? Did he love you? Because part of who you are today and part of what has made you into the person you are today is this past relationship as well as all your prior experiences.