texted him one last time

re
If it was something i did wrong i guess i just want to know. Right now i'm feeling like, wow he thinks i'm psycho because i called him 3 times in one night then sent texts apologizing and asking if he was mad. I guess the mixed message i got was him saying that he still wanted to talk and that he'd call....I wish he could have just told me what was bothering him. I could see if maybe we had just two formal dates, but i felt like we got really close hanging out. We spent the whole weekend together the first weekend the more time after that. I am obsessing about this, i know.

The best way to keep from going psycho about the three calls is to not bring it up. Forget about it. Forgive yourself for going over board once and never ever mention it again. Don't apologize for it and don't call him again.

Just assume that this is about him and not you. And don't obsess about the next guy.

re
i just feel like i've done something really wrong. I know he had a good time with me and i feel like i really messed up in calling...i just wish he'd give me another chance at being friends...i really enjoyed talking to him. I just felt so happy and i dont normally find people that i feel that way with. I wasnt asking for a relationship.

Then let it go. He's got issues that have nothing to do with you and there's no way you can know for sure what's up. Unless you keep chasing after him trying to get him to tell you what's wrong, in which case you will know exactly what happened because you will succeed in killing dead any interest he might have sill had in you.

Don't cry about it. Just let it go. Think about something else.

Were your parents overprotective?

re
the thing that also sucks is that since my parents are friends with his parents i'm going to basically have to hear about him for the rest of my life.

My mom even said to me last week that i should not get involved with him because of his AA issues. She's like, you're setting yourself up to get hurt. Guess she was right...it just happened a lot quicker than i thought it would.

I'm not trying to knock you, but you sound very insecure.

You've got a lot of good advice...MOVE ON. The fact your parents are friends with his emphasize this even more. You're wasting too much energy thinking about this guy. Find someway to emotionally block him.

re
well he called. I didnt get the message until 1:15 am after the work party. He left a message and was like, hi, it's ___, I just called to say hi, I'm going out to dinner now so if you call and I don't answer that's where I am…so don't be mad…talk to you later. I didn't call back…I don't even know if I should after how upset I was! I made an appt with my therapist yesterday for tonight and everything….I guess I will call him back tonight, but I'm almost afraid of what will be said!

Go talk to your therapist, Diana.

Print out all of the threads you've started on this topic - show the therapist what you've been thinking. It's actually quite a good log of your process.

Oh, what an excellent idea, ehBeth! A print out of the threads on this topic will give the therapist wonderful insight into how Diana78 has been feeling this past week or so! Good call, girl!

As much help as many of us have attempted to give, I really think the next step is the therapist for sure.

May you find peace, Diana78...

As I said earlier, more power to you! You're taking the next step, doing what you need to do to break the cycle, and that's great news.

(Also like the print-out idea, both for this and previous threads...)

text him one last time
Diana,

I know how you feel. I was in the same situation about a year ago. I met this, at the time, great guy. He was really into me and I thought I would give him a chance. Well we would talk everyday he would take me out to nice places and we spent alot of time together. Then all of a sudden the calls stopped and I would text and he wouldn't reply. I didn't understand what I did wrong at all. My friend worked with him. I found myself calling to see if he was at work and all these things that I look back at and think "how stupid was I?"

It really hurt and I had a hard time with it. I leaned on my friends and I got through it! I finally got over him and started seeing someone else. Well of course once he heard that he started calling and texting again. Which after six months he still does. Bottom line you need to take care of you first and not let yourself get down on yourself over some guy. I know you care about him but honey let me tell ya. I felt the same and I am happier than I have been in a long time! Hang in there. You are strong no matter what you think.

I remember more than three questions, so I looked up Diane78's thread titles. Most of us could be embarrassed by our thread titles, so I don't mean to pick on you, diane. The list is remarkable though, as a mirror of your great concern about whether various guys are interested.

- texted him one last time
- I think I blew it with this guy
- getting involved with someone in AA
- re
- I think this guy I met is a dud
- drama never ends
- he called - need advice
- met a guy on sat night
- I need advice bad
- attractiveness
- my dating situation
- need advice on another guy situation
- wife dropped a bomb
- need advice/input on guy situation

I have read some of these, but didn't review them again before this post.
There isn't much in them about who these guys are as people (they are just guys who you think don't call enough, to me - I have no sense of how they are different people) regarding what they want to do with their lives, their points of view on any issues, what they believe is important, and not much about yourself, what your interests are, your enthusiasms for any subject. As they used to say a bunch of years ago, where's the beef?

I really think you need to get into appreciating yourself, and stop worrying about phone calls. Other people, including guys, will like you fine when you do like yourself, and are comfortable being alone, as they say, in your skin.

Nice research, osso. And I agree with everything you said there.

re
Ok so i had mentioned that he called twice on tues-i hadnt called him back and was driving yesterday and my cell phone rings and it's him. So I answer. He was like, (insert my name!) We talked and he said he thought I was mad because he didn't call back. I said, oh no, I wasn't mad at all (haha). So then he's like, I'm going to be in (my city) on sat. night, my parents are getting a room at the 4 seasons and they got me a room too. So he goes on about this but doesn't ask me if I want to do anything even though last weekend he said we should do something sat. Finally I was like, well I guess we're not hanging out on sat. he just laughed and was like, we can hang out, I'll be around, you can call me. I was like, um no I don't think so. I cant remember all that was said, but basically he kept saying, yes we can hang out, but i felt like he didnt really want to since he didnt initially bring it up. So he told me I'm so oversensitive and that he has no big plans on sat night and is free to hang out. I just felt annoyed because he didn't ask me to do anything until i said something about. We left it as he would call me and we would make plans. I was a bit cold maybe and he was like, you seem mad at me, you're making me feel like i'm being mean to you. I was like, no no, i jsut think you're kind of confusing. He asked if he still has permission to call me and i said yes.

If he calls and says anything about sat, I think I'm just going to say, why don't you just hang out with your parents and if you have time give me a call, otherwise I'll see you Sunday (at this xmas party).

I dont know what it is about this guy i like so much. Not to sound conceited but a really nice sweet lawyer i met the other night called me last night and asked me out and i could have cared less. I am just so fixated on this other guy! ahhh!

Renee Olstead
Taking A Chance On Love

Here I go again
I hear those trumpets blow again
All aglow again
Taking a chance on love


Here I slide again
About to take that ride again
I'm starry eyed again
Taking a chance on love


I thought the cards were a frame-up
I never would try
But now I'm taking the game up
And the ace of hearts is high


All things are mending now
I see a rainbow blending now
We'll have a happy ending now
Taking a chance on love

[Instrumental break]

Here I slip again
About to take that trip again
Got my grip again
Taking a chance on love


Now I prove again
That I can make life move again
In the groove again
Taking a chance on love


I walk around with a horseshoe
In clover I lie
And brother rabbit of course you
Better kiss your foot good-bye


On the ball again
I'm riding for a fall again
I'm gonna give my all again
Taking a chance on love
Taking a chance on love

Diana, I have some cousins like you (on my wife's side). I have to constantly remind myself not to take advantage of them and sell them worthless real estate that I don't even own.

I officially give up.

Me too.

Diana's problem is much more than a "Relationships & Marriage" situation. It's a convoluted triangulation between/among Diana, her psychological issues, and the men she frantically pursues.

Girls like this make the one-night stand game that much easier.

Evil hee-hee...