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I know he's cheating...what should I do?

 
 
Reply Sat 12 Aug, 2017 08:00 pm
It has been a year of dating this man and I found out that he is trying to win back his wife that he is separated with. I have been busy with a highly intense career, my housing situation, my dad dying and a few things with my personal health to the point I have alopecia areata. I have asked that he understand that I have a lot going on and need to focus on my problems one by one. He just spends his time complaining that I am not giving him attention. He is also bothered that I have my own **** going on and won’t give up my career to support his goals in life by moving over there asap.

So I received a call from one of his mates M who asked if I was still dating him. Turns out that my bf A is trying to win his ex back…I think once he realised he is with a driven woman that makes her money and won’t stand for his bs he was missing his ex who is broke and always stayed with him when he cheated on the regular (again my bad for not seeing this) pandering to his ego and supporting his career aspirations 100% without much of her own. (Which is fine for her no judgment here)

M (my bfs friend) that called also tells me that he has very strong indications that A is also sleeping with M’s ex (who was dating him only a few weeks ago and suddenly gone cold) and that they may be doing something together right now hence why he is reaching out.

So I love being on the phone hearing him lie through his teeth and make him sweat…what should I do with this info?
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MY THOUGHTS

I will definitely contact the ex after we’re done and let her know that all he has done is complain about how expensive child support would be if she actually did the divorce so he’s been trying to keep her close to prevent paying so much. I will encourage her to get her money tbh and hopefully she is strong enough to take it as he is cheating on the both of us now. Hoping I can get a few messages from him going on about how much he loves me to send her soon.

I know he plans on sending her some flowers and gifts and **** through the week so I’m going to wait it out a little bit first…these narcassists sure can be tricky…I think he believes his lies…it’s nuts!
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 813 • Replies: 3
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PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sat 12 Aug, 2017 10:32 pm
And the reason you stay with this creep is ....???
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jespah
 
  2  
Reply Sun 13 Aug, 2017 08:43 am
@XoXo1989,
You're only going to feed his ego by being vindictive.

It won't make you feel any better in the long run.

So break up with this loser and yell at him all you want. Throw his stuff out, toss any gifts or cards back in his face and feel free to slam a door or two.

Then block his ass on all forms of social media and of course on your phone.

And take that energy you are expending on thinking of ways to get him back (or snapping at his ex, who isn't necessarily the one to blame here) by getting some self-care.
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FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Reply Sun 13 Aug, 2017 04:08 pm
@XoXo1989,
Lucky it's only been a year.

Nothing wrong with being a career orientated person and I'm sorry for the loss of your Father and your health issues.

I'd also be wary of any "mate" telling you that your man is cheating. In my days, that only meant that "he" the mate wanted to get into your pants and then brag about it to his so called friend, whom for what ever reason, he's not really close to as a "friend".

If he prefers constant communication, someone there, yes dear, no love, get me a coffee, then that's his make-up . Doesn't matter that she doesn't work, that she's not you. Obviously your career and assertiveness is not something he can cope with.

Obviously, she wasn't enough for him either if he cheats.

Karma has a way of getting people back. Why go back to her when it's over and spill beans yourself?

Is that really going to make you feel better?

Leave it, leave him, move on, focus on healing, focus on your career and be more attentive next time you decide to date someone, that you are dating the right "type" that will suit you and your life and his.

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