confusing and tiring

Reply Sun 18 Jun, 2017 08:02 am
hello! i met this guy through tinder. we texted on it for awhile and then he gave me his number. we then texted on whatsapp and then it got dry. i decided to blue tick him. after a few weeks, i decided to text him again(idk y) and he replied. we started texting again and we moved to snapchat. we were texting on snapchat so much we became bestfriends. the thing is, one minute hes all like " damn if you keep this up, i may fall for you" and then the next moment hes opening my snaps and not replying. my friend had tinder too and matched with him. she then proceeded to ask about his love life and he brought me up, as well as another girl. the other girl goes to the same school as him and they apparently meet often. i on the other hand, have never met him. he is always making plans and saying "one day" or "someday". i got annoyed cause there were so many chances to meet, but he never asked. i tried hinting to him but its as if he doesnt get it, or is trying to avoid it. then he keeps saying my replies are conversation killers but his are so much worse! yet i make the effort to try and reply his awfully bad reply. which he then proceeds to open and not reply:'') at this point, i feel exhausted. hes so hard to "read". Sad i really dont know what to do or feel. do you think he likes me? or is playing games? {btw, we have been communicating for more than 2 months now.}
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Reply Sun 18 Jun, 2017 08:40 am
He's bored and this is something to do to pass the time. He probably has an actual girlfriend (or more than one) or wife so physically meeting either isn't convenient right now or isn't wanted.

I'm curious, why have you wasted so much time on this guy? Two months??
Reply Sun 18 Jun, 2017 09:05 am
i highly believe he doesnt have a gf/wife cause he doesnt have any pics on instagram of a girl ... as for having a crush...that idk. Well to be very honest, i just wanted him to like me. However, i found myself investing wayyy too much effort and energy on that so i kind of gave up. whilst he was consistently replying, he seemed like a chill and fun guy. plus we have a streak on snapchat, so thats why i didnt ditch him to the curb. thanks for your insight on this situation, makes a lot of sense. Smile
Reply Sun 18 Jun, 2017 09:28 am
I have done the online dating thing and something that has always remained constant is: nobody is real until you get to know them in person. I never did any deep talking via chat or email until we were at least friends in person. My own personal timeline: need to meet them physically (in person) within a week of contact, otherwise you're just wasting time and energy. A simple coffee or lunch will do, or some other mutually enjoyable activity that will facilitate conversation. I give them one "free pass" at cancelling last minute, but only if they offer alternative plans. If they don't offer an alternative then they are cancelling because they found something better to do and you don't need to waste time on them.

Don't settle for lots of text type chat. Guys (or girls) will string you along indefinitely if they can. Get to know the person, in person.
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Reply Sun 18 Jun, 2017 01:06 pm
2 months you've been playing this cat ' n mouse game - and STILL havent met up?

Seems like yor friend beat you to it. She's actually talking to him in person.

How long did you think you'd hold his interest?
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Reply Sun 18 Jun, 2017 05:00 pm
janelle12919 wrote:
i i got annoyed cause there were so many chances to meet, but he never asked.

if you wanted to meet him you should have suggested a time and place

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Reply Mon 19 Jun, 2017 08:26 am
I thought tinder was for hooking up not a real relationship.

If you haven't met him in person or talked to him in person then there is no relationship. Give him a chance - make plans for a date to meet in person - if he declines and gives lame excuses he is playing you. If he really wants to have any sort of real relationship then he will be willing and happy to meet you.

Things were so much easier when you actually had to talk to someone in person or even over the phone to form a friendship or any sort of relationship. Texting and all these apps where you "commutate" tends to lead to people not being themselves and to pretend and play with you more.
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