My mother is freaking out on me

I didn't give it to her like that at all, I gave it to her and asked if we could talk about it. she knew I was thinking about it, we've always been a close family I usually can talk to her about anything. Thats why I don't know why there was such a fuss over this, I just hate she hasn't talked to me in so long and I don't know what to do or say cause if I do say anything she will make a remark like I'm not here if you guys break up or such a disappointment and walks away

Insane religious beliefs? or very old fashioned views maybe? I don't know I just think this is ridiculous and I keep trying to talk to her about it but it just makes it all worse - now she wants me to tell my dad

Izzy, you cannot know what the actual circumstances between her and her mom were as we are all individuals. You cannot claim to know a person merely on accounting to a few words on a page, never mind be in a position to judge them.

Izzy, you cannot know what the actual circumstances between her and her mom were, we are all unique individuals, not on the level of what they were thinking and feeling. You cannot claim to know a person merely on accounting to a few words on a page, never mind be in a position to judge them.

Izzy, you cannot know what the actual circumstances between her and her mom were, we are all unique individuals, not on the level of what they were thinking and feeling. You cannot claim to know a person merely on accounting to a few words on a page, never mind be in a position to judge them. You do n`t know the detail of the environment in which the ring was denounced.

It takes two to argue, obviously, but religion (Catholic?) or no religion it is irrational should she throw you out of the house over this. First and foremost we are human, or at least we should be. Just because the pastor tells her that sex before marriage is wrong this is not a licence not to think for herself, and not to put her daughters happiness always first.

Victorian, she appears to have an absolute moral code, by circumstance, not by individuals. Suggest to her that the instrument of her moral code might just be a shade to blunt on this occasion.

Yeah Catholic - an yeah I think that as well

Why did you have to give it back? You could have just taken it off.

Anyway what I think may or may not have happened is neither here nor there. You were there, and only you know if you were actively seeking confrontation. In any event, I'd give it time, let the dust settle, try not to provoke her, and look for somewhere else to live.

More than one sex I think.

Frankly, I would have waited...I just couldn't find anyone to wait with in a world where casual sex is so freely accepted. That's something you can't take back now that you've done it. And if men know you've had sex, depending on the men they meet, that's the only thing they'll get out of you since they know they don't have to date you to get it.

If I could do it over, I would have waited or at least waited until someone who cared to date me would do it with me. It's also good protection against STDs and unwanted pregnancy. Hope you protected yourself.

This is the 21st century. People are now free to enjoy sex with whomever they like. It is not "casual sex" to have sex with someone you care about in a committed relationship, and to start having sex after 2 months of dating is rather normal. This isn't "casual" sex if this a relationship you are both taking seriously.

My main point is that your relationship sounds perfectly normal and healthy assuming you both treat each other with respect, and you are enjoying the relationship including the sex.

The lesson here is that I think you need to stop talking to your mom about your relationships. Your mom is completely wrong, but there isn't much you can do about this. The idea that sex is something a woman gives away in exchange for a relationship is ridiculous. Real women enjoy sex and real men enjoy relationships.

You are an adult. What your mom thinks no longer matters. Just enjoy your relationship.

Taking the ring off, giving it back, the difference is miniscule, rather than being supportive they seem to come here for confrontation? One should be able to do debate without ever once being judgemental. Suddenly everybody is trying to lay claim to perfection. I was fairly rubbish when I was your boyfriends age, I do n`t think even in his league. Should this relationship now fold it likely will not have been your fault, likely scarcely at all by the sounds of your character, and under such circumstances you must consider yourself very unlucky. Statistics are stacked against it working, but they are stacked against every relationship working.

Don't know if you're aware of this, but if you've had sex with one man, you're not obligated to have sex with others.

Also, it was asked and answered as to whether they used protection.

Looks like me!!! LOL

But she`s not a child, not even an adolescent, she`s a member of the same group as you, a group of adults. She did n`t come here with questions regarding contraception, but we`ll remember to go immediately to this place should you bring concerns here regarding one of your relationships. Of course young men wont automatically assume that she`s easy for sex/making love, they wont even know that it was sex in the unlikely event of finding out. One assumes that sexual relations with ones steady boyfriend are an expression of their love for each other. How on earth would they imagine that her love and commitment to her boyfriend makes her more available to them for having sex? Guys can be socially naive, but not that much so, should the relationship fail neither then would they think that she was up for sex. Are we talking about an entirely different race of people, alien to the way in which our young men think?

"..your not obliged to have sex with others"? Do you think that she`s five years old? She has told you over and over that she was dating so there lies the proof that you are here with your own personal agenda.
Whether they used protection is absolutely none of your business!

Do you see how at the top of your post it says my name? That means you were replying to me.

Do you see how at the top of this post it says your name celebritydiscodave? That means I am replying to you.

Do you see the name at the top of the post of mine that you are bitching about? That means I was replying to what that person was saying, not the original poster.

I know, it's hard to keep up with all these complicated things.

Finally, she, at the age of 20, and obviously very inexperienced in these things, is no more a member of the same group I'm in than a 16 year old is in the same group as a toddler.

She's making the first attempt at being an adult. I'm a Wise Elder who has been there, done that, and understands no one aspect stands in isolation from the others.

This poor kid is in a tizzy over religious zealot mommy not approving a natural thing. Can you imagine mommy's reaction if the OP came to her with an STD or pregnant?

I'm glad they used a condom, which protected them both.

To the OP, stop bringing this up to your mother, and let her absorb and deal with it herself. You are now stirring the pot and creating drama. If you keep bring it up she will get agitated to the point she will tell your father. Your having sex is none of his business.

Your sexuality is no ones business but you and your partner.

And I suppose you`d also apply word combinations to the affect that you are caring, considerate, understanding, supportive, whatever it takes to have you yourself and others believe that you are somehow superior, not even the least bit arrogant, that you are perfect in fact. It may well be you that`s the metaphorical toddler, for she`s very much an individual, not a number, an age. Her opinions may just as easily be advanced of your own. Learn to listen and only then express your opinion.

I doubt that.

Chai2 is smarter than you.

Hey, that's a poem.