@beachhouse,
What you did was give him permission to cheat, but deep down, I bet you didn't want him to.(because he loved you so much and wouldn't do that to you, blah, blah. )
So your passive-aggressiveness backfired on you.
Look - if you want this marriage to survive, accept your co-responsiblity for this mess and seek counseling to see if you two can keep this together.
Otherwise, now is your time to leave. After all, you DID set the entire thing up, didn't you?