An "Ask Auntie Lowan" Digression.

Are YOU happy?








(seemingly so...teeeheeeeeeee)

am I happy?

all right.

you have, indeed, been a negligent crossing guard (seen the Anjelica Huston film, BTW?) and your daughter's heart has been rendered a little helpless, or pissed (in the Oz sense, of legless) by the expectations of the distaff side of her family.

she has looked to you for support and guidance in this, but you have been busy elsewhere.

now, however, is the time to give your daughter extra time and attention - and she too will be able to leap into life - (the ocean)

happy now?


of course, it would be a lot more true if she explored her feelings!

Dear Auntie Lowan,

I was minding my own business swimming in the ocean when I was hit on the head by a grand piano , which appeared to be pink although that could have been caused by the concussion.

I am writing this or strictly typing this in my bed at the Mount Sinai Hospital, my question is this :-

How can we survive in a world where we are attacked by pink grand pianos that only exist in a young maiden's dreams and who is going to pay my medical bills as I am not insured against dream pianos ?

Please advise and send on Blatham's 5 dollars, it'll help with the hospital expenses.



Yours Dolores Smallbottom aka HIAMA

Jeez...you don't have to get so damned snipity. I mean, I paid the five bucks and all.

hiama

I just now saw your post. Very very funny.

Dear Mr Blatham,

I am somewhat disappointed that you appear not to have received my lawyer's letter with regard to the virtual damages caused to my spirit by this unreal accident.

I imagine you meant snippety as in pernickety, rather than snipity, one is quite used to this aberrational use of grammer by the inhabitants of the outer reaches of our vast Empire. Please do keep up.

I am glad that you find this funny, it is a matter of extreme delicacy to me and I would ask you to refrain from any further " clever" remarks, frankly I think you should know better at your age.

Yours painstakingly

Dolores Largebottom ( days of hospital food and no exercise have increased my posterior'sproportions-another claim may follow)

Hiama

Gautam is being polite in not outing anyone -- there are more gay men on the site but one may not know who they are unless they've dated them
??? :wink:

Heehee.

Hiama,

I believe Blatham addressed the snippety to me, mistaking my cheerful breeziness for such - I wasn't being snippety Blatham - I was being silly!

I am happy to send on the $5 when it arrives, Hiama.

If you havebeen hurt by an imaginary grand paino, may I suggest you will be covered by the National Health? All will be well.

Auntie Lowan,
I did the 'Buns of Steel' workout video. Why is it that my arms hurt?

The body is a complex system - bits sort of interconnect with each other in odd and unpredictable ways - don't worry about it.

Does your bum hurt when you exercise your arms?

How are the buns looking - is it worth purchasing the video - my buns appar to be a little soggy of late.

Maybe we need a little picture of the buns so we can access them

the bum seems to be less affected, if at all. it looks like, well, let's see, yes, buns of steel! will try some pushups, perhaps bum will hurt then, good idea.
BillW, nobody accesses my buns!!! not just yet, perhaps after a few more videos. and who has that bridge for sale...?

BillW is always at the ready to reach and touch someone. It makes me all teary.

What a freudian - please change "access" to "assess".

But, I have been said to have good hands

dear breezily cheerful (or cheery breezer, not certain of correct formulation)

Send five dollars for my new video, designed specifically for those with more realistic standards - "Buns of Bauxite".

Riiiiight. You know that joke about the Freudian slip. The husband and a wife go to see her parents. The husband wants to comment on the dinner and tell his mother in law how delicious it was. He instead says: You lousy bitch, you ruined my life!
hm. completely lost in translation, oh sigh, oh sigh, my life, so tough.

No! No! 'Tis funny as is!

Buns of bauxite, eh.....hmmmmmmmm....

And how are you bunnies of steel doing today?