It was TRUE! It was TRUE!
Pinch me !!!
Dear Aunty lowan,
I have a "first date" coming up - which I have cancelled abt 4 times previously due to my constant travelling. Now I have a cold coming on - should I cancel once again ?
Do you WANT to see this man, or not?
Does he cook? Tell him you don't want to cancel again, so could he come over and fix you some chicken soup, and bring cognac.
Dear Aunty Lowan,
To be honest, I am not too keen - he is a friend of a friend (who is playing matchmaker here), I have never met him before but apprently he is 26, very interested in arts and quite stunning (that is the reason I am not too keen - it would be a complete waste of time) - but since he has contacted me, and has been undetered by my 4 cancellations, I think it is only polite to go out at least once with him.
Cav, I don't drink chicken soup
So - go - and sneeze. If you do not like him, your cold can overcome you and you can go home.
If you DO like him, you will either forget your cold, or, you can be very honest, tell him you fancy him/wanna see him again, but you are sick, but came out because you felt worried that he might think you rude if you cancelled AGAIN, and ask to arrange another date?
Oh yeah, well a nice pistou soup then, with vegetable stock...however, if you are not too keen, then is a first date really necessary? Hmm....I suppose one date wouldn't hurt, but maybe talk to your friend too, regarding your concerns here.
Dear Aunty lowan,
Do you think that I will ever be able to sort out my love life ?
cav, I told my friend this, he laughed so hard that his beer came out of his nose....
Hmm...well, good thing it wasn't hot coffee...
Sort out your love life? It isn't a sock drawer, you know!
Hmmmm - I am a lost sock in the laundromat of infinity myself....
This in from Scoop - a New Zealand media outlet:
White House Sued For Stealing Humorists' Material
White House Sued For Stealing Material From Political Humorists
Satirists' class-action law suit alleges concerted effort by
administration to undermine impact of irony worldwide.
Satire from freepressed.com
CAPTION: More than 200 American soldiers have died on active
duty in Iraq since the President told the American people that
major combat operations were over while standing in front of
this banner that the White House produced but the Navy put up.
What else can I say?
Washington, D.C.--Writers of political satire are scornfully
mocking a cynical attempt by the Bush administration to co-opt
irony and satire for its evil ends.
In a paradoxical twist of fate, the Satire Writers Guild of America
has filed a class-action lawsuit against the White House, accusing
it of theft of intellectual property from multiple political
satire websites, fake news shows and TV and movie spoofs.
In its brief to the court, Guild attorneys cited numerous cases
in which completely outrageous parodies of the Bush administration
quickly became real policies of the US government, minimizing
the hyperbolic affect and element of juxtoposition the satirists
were trying to achieve.
Guild President Ernest Straitman said if this trend continues,
satire could become obsolete.
"The danger here is that at some point in the farcical future,
political reality could become indistinguishable from even the
most ridiculous lampoon," he said. "In such an unthinkable alter
reality, there would be no need for sarcastic dissidence or the
smart-asses who create it. This law suit is really a fight for
the survival of our craft and our culture."
Brent Flynn, the publisher of the wildly popular satirical website,
freepressed.com, said one of his send-ups was ripped-off by the
president himself.
CAPTION: Will Farrell and Dana Carvey poke fun at Dubya and
Poppy Bush in a Saturday Night Live skit. Both actors have hung
up their Bush costumes now that real events have become more
absurd than any premise for a comedy skit.
"I couldn't believe it. I wrote what I considered to be a totally
absurd story about how Paul Wolfowitz was spinning the rocket
attack on his Baghdad hotel as some kind of US victory in Iraq,"
he said. "When I heard Dubya telling the world that the attacks
were a sign of desperation on the part of the resistance and
signaled the coalition's progress in winning the peace, I nearly
fell off of my high horse."
The story (Wolfowitz says attack on Al-Rashid hotel proves Iraqis
want freedom) was released Tuesday morning and suspiciously found
its way into Bush's speech later in the day.
"The more progress we make on the ground, the more free the Iraqis
become...the more desperate these killers become, because they
can't stand the thought of a free society," Bush said in his
speech.
White House press secretary Scott McClellan sought to emphasize
Bush's link between progress and heightened attacks-- the hilarious
premise Flynn used as the basis of his story.
When confronted with the accusation that Bush had plagiarized
the biting social commentary of Mr. Flynn, McClellan claimed
the president came up with the idea early on in the occupation
of Iraq.
"We've always said the more progress we make toward a free and
prosperous Iraq, the more desperate the killers will become,"
he said.
But experts note that this is not the first time the Bush administration
has hijacked a satirical work of fiction.
CAPTION: Dick Cheney stole the plot from this movie in order
to hijack the energy policy of the United States. Detective Frank
Drebin would be rolling over in his grave right now if he were
dead.
Soon after taking office, Vice President Dick Cheney took the
plot from the movie The Naked Gun 2 1/2 in which big energy interests
dictate the country's energy policy. Instead of funding research
and development in renewable energy sources, the fictional presidential
administration gives tax breaks to coal, oil and nuclear power
companies. The concept was meant to be so ridiculous that any
idiot could see how corrupt the process was.
Unfortunately, when the Bush administration did the same thing
in real life, even refusing to release information on those who
helped shape the energy policy, no one seemed to care.
One unidentified White House aide said the whole idea of this
campaign is to take the shock value out of satirical headlines.
"By actually doing stuff that is more insane than anything the
comedy writers can dream up, we are ensuring that they can never
get the best of us," he said. "Pretty soon the real headlines
will be even stupider than the fake ones...Actually, who am I
kidding? That's already happening."
Flynn said this will make his already thankless job even harder.
"You know, at first satirists everywhere thought having this
crew in the White House was a god send. Every day they were doing
something completely asinine. It was almost too easy," he said.
"But now they're beating us to the punch. The 'Mission Accomplished'
banner scandal, the mass produced form letters from 'soldiers'
that appeared in newspapers across the country, Bush falling
off of the Segway--You can't make this stuff up."
The unnamed White House aide said those examples are just the
tip of the iceberg.
"Look for the Virgin Mary on the White House lawn heralding the
beginning of the Apocolypse," he deadpanned. "Gotcha!"
Allison Krauss has a lovely voice.
But I digress.
marycat!
where were you on sunday, when i was at the record store, trying to remember her name
something something and union station
oh yeah - the clerk knew what i meant
not!
I'm so sorry. On Sunday, I was in Victoria's Secret store #646, a few (hundred) miles or so from you. If I had known, I would have called.
;-)
Darryl Worley is ugly, by the way. He's singing on the CMA Awards right now. And it is sad, because he had one song I liked a couple years ago, but has since shown his true (hateful, warmongering) face. Alas.
This in from merry Andrew:
Aw, hell, enough sarcasm. How about a little joke?
Sol visits Abe and sees a dog in the house.
"So what kind of dog is this?" asks Sol.
"It's a Jewish dog. His name is Irving," says Abe.
"Watch this," continues Abe as he points to the dog. "Irving, Fetch!"
Irving walks slowly to the door, then turns around and says, "So why are you talking to me like that? You always order me around like I'm nothing. And then you make me sleep on the floor, with my arthritis...You give me this fahkahkta food with all the salt and fat, and you tell me it's a special diet...It tastes like dreck! YOU should eat it yourself!...
And do you ever take me for a decent walk?
NO, it's out of the house, a short piss, and right back home.
Maybe if I could stretch out a little, the sciatica wouldn't kill me so much!
Sol, amazed, tells Abe how remarkable this is, to which Abe answers,"I don't know, I think this dog has a hearing problem. I said fetch, and he thought I said kvetch."
heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee . . .
How very yiddish of you . . .
Dear Wise Auntie Wabbit:
Why do the manufacturers of medicine bottles make lids which only small children can quickly and easily remove--forcing elderly people to appeal to their grandchildren for aid--and then call them "child proof?"
My stomach is hurting bad - what to do?
