coney island, baby. that's just about all i can contribute to this. am at a loss...
Why? Soooo unlike our Dagmaraka!
i don't know what coneys are, to begin with. and coffee didn't kick in yet. i too am only a human!
A coney is like unto a bunny, even yet a hare or rabbit. I don't know why, possibly it is an Ozism.
Merry Andrew -- I heard you met a friend... any reporting to report???
coney island, baby...
you know that's a tom waits song, right?
Main Entry: co·ney
Pronunciation: 'kO-nE, 1 also 'k&-nE
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural coneys
Etymology: Middle English conies, plural, from Old French conis, plural of conil, from Latin cuniculus
Date: 12th century
1 a : rabbit fur b (1) : RABBIT; especially : the European rabbit (Oryctolagus cuniculus) (2) : PIKA c : HYRAX
2 archaic : DUPE
3 : any of several fishes; especially : a dusky black-spotted reddish-finned grouper (Epinephelus fulvus) of the tropical Atlantic
Hey, I like the archaic form! It works for Coney Island!
dupe island then. Lou Reed it was. But Tom Waits is just as duped. am using words sparsely today, for i am using them for my dissertation. yes. believe it or not, it is writing itself!
Huh. Make sure it doesn't misbehave over there in the corner. I've found dissertations to be most mischevious when left unattended.
(I am full of words, many words today. Would you like a few?)
i can use a whole bundle. give it here!
Hmm. Check the other threads. Seems I've left my toys laying about.
unanticipated redevelopment
redeployed accoutriments
managed outcome
unvarnished truism
undoubtably the most outstanding eventuality
fundamental causatum
There used to be coney catching pamphlets in Elizabethan times - detailing how poor souls were duped by elaborate tricksicals....
hmmm, unusable, although fascinating. i may use the 'undoubtedly the most outstanding eventuality' or the 'fundamental causatum' somewhere. i will sneak it in.
Apropos of certain charlatan advice givers, newly popped up, whose names shall be nameless:
Vatican vies with SciFi channel for No1 Fiction position
The Vatican declared battle on the Scifi channel this month with a barrage of fictional announcements designed to knock the US Scifi channel from the number one fiction slot.
The Vatican, head of the Catholic church, is said by analysts to be responding to surveys showing that more people in the US now watch the SciFi channel than go to Sunday mass.
"They've done some very basic market research." Bill Owlocks media analyst with Woofter Pilly partnership told BIGfib.
"It says that people tune into the Scifi channel for all the weird **** they show, you know, aliens coming up through toilets and biting peoples bottoms, that kind of stuff, and that they're tuning out from the Vatican because of the complete predictability of everything they say."
The increased creativity within the Vatican's communications is thought to tie in with the build up to the launch of VatiChan, the worldwide satellite TV channel to be launched in September 2004.
Analysts working on programming material for the channel have been warning the Vatican that pictures of the pope reading, the original plan for the 24 hour channel, just aren't going to do it for a worldwide audience, and that the Vatican needs to reinvent it's communications to provide controversy, drama and excitement.
"It's clear that that's exactly what they're doing..." Owlocks told BIGfib.
"Over the last month we've seen a real-life-type-drama of the Pope, will-he-die-or-won't-he... Local drama, in a school near you, with the Vatican fighting for Crucifix's to be put up in Italian schools, the almost biblical transformation of Mother Teresa to Saint status by the pope, astonishing defence of child abusing priests within the US catholic church and controversial communiqués from the Vatican against birth control education in American schools.
But by far the most newsworthy, and quite clearly created in response to the SciFi channels sensational stories has been last weeks Vatican claims that the HIV virus can wriggle through microscopic holes in condoms and that therefore they do not protect users in any way. That the Vatican should be urging Africans to throw away their condoms, when the continent is already devastated by the disease, is nothing short of genocide.
Something this sensational and so clearly opposed to all current scientific knowledge not to mention the personal experience of billions of users who have remained HIV negative thanks to condoms over the last twenty years can only be meant to blast VatChan to the number one fiction slot."
"As a media analyst I think it's a great strategy... It could work. Any publicity is good publicity as we say in the business."
(From the Big fib)
Since you're on the subject -- this from the latest edition of the Onion...
Pope John Paul II: 25 Years Of Laughs
VATICAN CITY?-As Pope John Paul II enters his 26th year as pontiff, the world is stopping to reflect on the legendary funnyman's career as one of the most influential performers in modern history. Standing staunchly against contraception and women's equality right through the turn of the 21st century, the pope and his quirky, deadpan comic persona still entertain audiences around the world.
Revered by multiple generations for his weird and wonderful wit, the 83-year-old pontiff is perhaps the best-known stand-up alive today. Throughout an amazing two and a half decades as head of the Catholic Church, the pope has produced, in both his live appearances and his published works, a treasure trove of humor second to none.
"I can still remember seeing him do his classic 'Galileo' bit in the early '90s," said fellow comedian George Carlin, referring to the pope's 1992 declaration that the church erred in condemning Galileo. "Here was this man, appearing on televisions around the world, making a proclamation that the sun does not move around the earth. I laughed until tears rolled down my cheeks."
"No one could touch the pope," Carlin added. "Hell, no one even tried. He was in a class of his own. One of a kind."
Born Karol Joseph Wojtyla in Wadowice, a town 35 miles southwest of Krakow, the pope did not have an easy childhood. In what may have contributed to his desire to inspire laughter, he faced many early hardships. His mother died just a month before his 9th birthday, and only three years later, his brother died of scarlet fever. The pope began his religious career shortly thereafter, studying in an underground seminary in Krakow. He established himself in the Krakow scene and was awarded an archbishopric in 1963. He made cardinal in 1967.
Among the works to give the pope his first taste of fame was his 1960 treatise Love And Responsibility, in which he defined a "modern Catholic sexual ethic." It was here that the pope developed his oft-repeated chestnut that the only acceptable act of sex is one intended for the creation of a child.
"The pope would always lean on his material about sex," director Woody Allen said. "He had this crazy, special way of looking at the world. I definitely count him among my influences."
After years of working the smaller cathedrals, the pope's hard work paid off. On Oct. 16, 1978, he was chosen to head Rome's most venerated comedic institution, the Vatican.
"No one else is still doing what the Vatican does," comedian Don Rickles said. "They may not be as big as they once were, but they still surprise?-like that bit a few weeks ago, where they said condoms don't prevent AIDS. Was that improvised?"
After 25 years at the top of his field, the pope still draws a crowd. On Oct. 19, he presided over the beatification of Mother Teresa. More than a quarter of a million people flooded St. Peter's Square to witness the stunt, in which the pope declared that the hard-working, benevolent nun had performed miracles and possessed supernatural powers.
The pope has created more saints and beatified more people than all the previous popes combined, and no other pope has toured as extensively as he has. The quintessential showman loves to take his act on the road. He's entertained audiences in 117 countries and met with hundreds of world leaders, including dictators Augusto Pinochet and Fidel Castro.
"John Paul is the hardest-working pope in history," actor Jonathan Winters said. "He's an inspiration. And not just for other comedians like myself, but for everyone, from theologians who will never be ordained because they're women, on down to the little children in the crowded ghettos of Third World cities who heed his message about the evils of contraception. Let's not even go into the gays in Boise."
Since his first trip back to Poland in 1978, the pope has performed in front of millions of loyal fans all over the world.
"People would wait in line for hours to see him," comedian Joey Bishop said. "And he never failed to deliver. He'd be out there working the crowd?-shaking hands, kissing babies. Wherever he went, they loved him."
The pope has also been lauded for his ability to think on his feet. Throughout his many years in the business, the pope has often been called upon to deliver a comeback when questioned about acts committed by the Catholic Church.
"John Paul II has riffed on everything from the Crusades and the Spanish Inquisition to the treatment of Jews and blacks," actor Bob Newhart said."He's always had a unique ability to come at things in an unexpected way. I saw him last year on TV, talking about those molestation scandals. His main message was that Catholics shouldn't lose faith in the clergy. Hilarious! Now, I would've gone straight to some kind of apology to the victims, but I guess that's why he's the pope."
The master of the lightning-speed one-liner produced a string of memorable side-splitters earlier this year. When meeting with the Dutch ambassador to the Vatican, he referenced the country's laws governing same-sex unions. Condemning the laws, the pope said that sexual relationships are for "men and women whose love will yield children," and characterized gays as deviants who act contrary to "natural law."
Despite suffering from debilitating Parkinson's disease, the pope shows no signs of toning down his act. With his trademark wit, the pontiff recently announced that, in spite of his failing health, he will remain pope "as long as God wants."
"There will never be another Pope John Paul II," said comedian Jerry Stiller. "He's truly one of a kind, straight out of a time and place that no longer exist."
LOL! I already put that on Gus's thread about the death of me, and my family - the one that made me declare war.
There's an amazing amount of stuff about the pope out there.....
Dear Auntie Lowan,
do YOU know where I put my gray fluffy hat? Dr. Gustav Ratz had some indecent and unflattering suggestions. I believe you will deal with my question more conscientiously and delicately. Is Dr. Ratz trustworthy in his counsels?
Thank you,
Daguar.
Dagmaraka - may I suggest that you close your eyes - conjure up an image of your hat - really clearly - focus on it - focus - now call it, out loud, three times - and wait.
I am unable to comment on the trustworthiness of a char....ahem....colleague, I am afraid....sadly....because I COULD!
