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Why are those women items still laying around on his Apt, can he possibly be lying?

 
 
katya07
 
Reply Mon 3 Apr, 2017 04:53 pm
Hi, So The times that I have gone to my boyfriend (37/M) City apartment which are not many times, because he actually has 2 student apartments one here where I live, because he happens to go to the university here in my town,and he has another apartment in the city which is his official apartment (The one that I am talking about now), the point is, I have seen around 3 or 4 woman stuff laying around, on the bathroom, I saw a black eyeliner, closed kotex pads, thrown in a corner of the bathroom, there was also like two shopping bags from womens clothing stores thrown in the floor of his bedroom with a bunch of other bags and random stuff, they had stuff inside for sure!, but I don’t know what it was cause I did not check, he was to close by, I asked him and he told me that his ex Gf used to live there with him for some time and then they had broken up and she left to united states.

I suppose they broke up in 2013 or before but I really have no clue, we have been together almost 3 years, in the beginning of 2014 we started going out,,I have been seeing these items since the first time I went to his apartment.but at the end of 2014(July-august) and beginning of 2015(February) I saw the 2 bags from womans stores, he has such a mess in that apartment that honestly I dont even know if those bags where there before and perhaps I did not see them.

I don’t know if His excuse is believable or not, but sounds sketchy to me, why would he keep all those things laying around since forever in there (I do admit he is very messy but still), it does not make sense, he should have thrown them away LONG time ago, when she left or something. The times that I have gone, their always there, and some time ago I saw a shopping bag I had not seen there before! I wonder if these bags where left there when the ex left and he uses them to put clothes or stuff in them?
 
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Tue 4 Apr, 2017 05:23 am
@katya07,
He could be someone who never throws stuff out. Check the sell by dates on food in his cupboard, if that's old too his story has traction.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Tue 4 Apr, 2017 06:38 am
After 3 years - and he hasn't cleaned out all this stuff - offer to help him, so that you feel better about coming over there. That's not unreasonable request.

Either someone else is using the apartment, he's seeing someone else, or he is clueless about cleaning. Take your pick.
katya07
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Apr, 2017 12:47 pm
@PUNKEY,
@PUNKEY I agree a 100% with your 3 thoughs, honestly I always felt something off, lets be honest here, why in the world would he keep 2 toothbrushes in the in bathroom and a 3 open towels in the shower, plus 3 more toothbrushes sitting open in a table on his bedroom, (too me thats too many things opened for who, if ''he is the only one that lives there'' I don't want so seem plastic or picky but he has a hot mess there, and it smells weird when you enter his apartment, like skynky or like food seasoning!.

I was thinking, I know this sounds a little overboard but, I found out the number of the landlord of those apartments, their just 3 apartments in that place and she (landlord) happens to own the 3 of them so I will call her acting like I am interested in renting and I will ask for the apartment where he lives and get information from here, I suppose she has to know information about him, if maybe another woman lives there or what the heck goes on there, I'm sure she has to know something. Do you think this can help me find out something?
farmerman
 
  2  
Reply Tue 4 Apr, 2017 12:47 pm
@PUNKEY,
yeh, I dont think your concern with him is faithfulness. Its hygiene.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Tue 4 Apr, 2017 01:27 pm
@katya07,
katya07 wrote:
Do you think this can help me find out something?


you already know he is a dirty/stinky/messy guy. the landlord can't add to that.

I hope you're not considering a permanent relationship with someone like that.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Apr, 2017 03:05 pm
@ehBeth,
With all those tooth brushes laying around, he's got stuff from the last 6 girlfriends dating back to 1989.
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Apr, 2017 03:46 pm
@ehBeth,
ehBeth wrote:

katya07 wrote:
Do you think this can help me find out something?


you already know he is a dirty/stinky/messy guy. the landlord can't add to that.

I hope you're not considering a permanent relationship with someone like that.


That's is awfully snobby! We all have our flaws.

I get it if you say that you wouldn't want to date someone who doesn't meet your standard of perfection... but to say that no one should date someone with flaws is ridiculous. There are perfectly happy people in fulfilling relationships that are messy. Personally, I would far rather be with someone who is messy than with someone who is uptight or judgmental.

Different strokes for different folks. If this guy makes you happy, then don't worry about what other people think.
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  3  
Reply Tue 4 Apr, 2017 03:56 pm
@katya07,
Quote:
I found out the number of the landlord of those apartments, their just 3 apartments in that place and she (landlord) happens to own the 3 of them so I will call her acting like I am interested in renting and I will ask for the apartment where he lives and get information from here, I suppose she has to know information about him, if maybe another woman lives there or what the heck goes on there, I'm sure she has to know something. Do you think this can help me find out something?


Do you care about this relationship? If my girlfriend spied on me this way, I would be hurt and upset. Wouldn't you be upset if he doubted you enough to dig into your past?

If this is a relationship that you think is worth having, then you are going to need to trust. It would be sad if you screw up the relationship only to find that he was telling you the truth all along.

There must be things you really like about this man. Focus on those and work on building the relationship.





0 Replies
 
steven567
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 Jun, 2017 11:37 pm
@katya07,
I have no idea of it.
0 Replies
 
 

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