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Thu 16 Mar, 2017 12:00 am
I'm 15 years old, I came out to my mom about two years ago as female to male transgender, and she basically became an entirely different person to me. There have been multiple occasions ( probably over 50 ) where I've tried to sit her down and have a talk with her about how I really feel. She's siding with God, telling me He doesn't make mistakes, but I've never even seen her pick up a bible, and she probably goes to church about once every two years. We would fight and bicker about it for days. She'd tell me the name I picked isn't my name, that its stupid, that I'm not a boy. She also says she that I don't care about her feelings and that I "rub it in her face". I feel like a mother should love her child, no matter what the circumstance, but I just don't feel that with her anymore. She has let her friend call the police and lie to them stating that I was suicidal just because my mom thought they'd take me to a mental hospital and "fix" me. I had recently talked to her about hormone therapy since I'll be graduating high school in only a couple years, and she completely shut me out, telling me that me asking her to take me to get hormones is like someone asking her to take them to get an abortion. I understand that people like me have it much worse, but this is really starting to take a toll on me, not feeling loved and accepted in my own home. She expects nothing but A's and B's in school because that's how she did when she was in school. If I don't please her, I get my phone turned off, made to feel like an idiot, and grounded until like 3 months after my grades are higher than B's again. This is all so overwhelming, and to make matters worse, no one I talk to about it will help me because she makes it seem as if nothing is wrong to the outside world. I need help, I don't know what to do. If I am being abused, should I contact CPS? Will be thankful for any answers
@heavydirtysoul89,
God doesn't make mistakes?
He put the tree of knowledge within reach, I say that was a mistake.
Your mother may be, (alright) shes overbearing but she's trying to push you so you won't need to struggle later in life. Its just not easy to explain why it's important at your age to do well now without you shrugging it off.
I also think your mom might be worried that how you feel might be a phase. Getting hormone therapy might be excessive if it's just a phase. She may just be trying to protect you from yourself.
However; you have time, lots of time. I know you feel strongly about this but at the same time it's not worth creating conflict with your mother.
For now I say embrace her wishes you can always get treatment later when you are older and on your own if you still feel this strong about it.
Its not worth losing your mother over. Once she's gone youll never have another chance at this sort of connection. Too many people **** up this relationship over needless things.
Breath, calm down, time is on your side. I agree is to soon to think about hormone therapy. Be patient with your mom hopefully with some time to digest the news she will come around.
@heavydirtysoul89,
You're who you are, you can't be somebody else even if your mother wants that. Learn to accept and love who you are, as you are, making changes only when it's truly what you want to do. In time, hopefully your mother will gain acceptance and love you, as you.
Also, realize that many young people have differences with their parent(s) or guardian(s). You are becoming an adult, they still see you as a small child and want only to protect you from harm and difficulties in life...which includes wanting you to study hard and get good grades so you will have a better chance at success in the future.
In the meantime, since you have internet access, check for any places nearby which address the needs of transgender young people.
@heavydirtysoul89,
Quote:I'm 15 years old, I came out to my mom about two years ago as female to male transgender, and she basically became an entirely different person to me.
Right first line, I can tell you the answer is probably yes. You do seem to be being abused.
I am Christian and in the transgender spectrum. Quote this passage to her.
Quote:13For You formed my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works, and I know this very well.
15My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in secret, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16Your eyes saw my unformed body; all my days were written in Your book and ordained for me before one of them came to be.
While this passage could mean that she is right, read carefully. It also implies that you can be born with a woman's heart and a man's body or vice versa, that God can make you to be born trans.
That said, I think surgery is entirely not for everyone, and that some people are fine with presenting as the opposite sex. I decided this was the case for me.
Quote:God doesn't make mistakes?
He put the tree of knowledge within reach, I say that was a mistake.
Who says that is a mistake? Another people here, God set up a situation that required us to exercise free will. Consider this, it is not only in reach, it is in the CENTER of the garden. This means that you will frequently pass it when traveling through the garden. God wants us to make choices, because God wants us to choose to love him. He cannot have that happen if we have no free will.
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