Cheating spouse, need advice!

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Recently, I found out that my husband has recently been talking with the girl he was dating before we started our relationship. The conversation was more than friendly, and some pictures were exchanged (the pictures were deleted, but the log of them being sent still showed, so I don't know what was sent). Upon confronting my husband, he said he would cease contact with her, due to him not wanting to lose me. While this is all very sweet and I want to trust him, I am a little unsettled.
We have recently been trying to conceive. We both have children from previous marriages, and originally had said we were happy with that. However, upon further discussion (he broached the topic), he wanted to have a baby of our own. I was more than willing and since then, we have been trying. However, after finding his conversation, I'm not sure that I'm ready to have a baby with him. I want to trust him and I want to believe that he is honest in saying that he will no longer continue any communication. I guess I am looking for guidance and advice as to where to go from here.

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@Easycheesy,

"The conversation was more than friendly, . . ."

What do you mean?

Put off pregnancy plans until you feel better about his activities.

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@Easycheesy,

Once the trust is broken, it takes time - sometimes a long time to restore it again. Your husband has deceived you and the trust you placed in him. It is up to him to regain your trust and having a baby is the very wrong thing right now.

You both have a lot to work out and couple counseling could help you both. You have a blended family and it can be overwhelming at times with your and his children, perhaps that's a starting point for the two of you to communicate. Why did he feel the need to get in contact with an old flame? Communication and respect is the key to everything and honesty should be right up there.

As I said, it takes time to regain trust, but you can work on it if you're both on the same page and you're both honest with each other. Once you've successfully worked through this, a baby could be blessing, but I would not advise it in the near future.

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@Easycheesy,

How long have you been with your husband and how long was he with this other girl? He might be reaching out to her to fill need(s) he's not getting at home. I recommend reading a book called, "His Needs, Her Needs, How to build an affair proof marriage". I think you'll find it helpful in rebuilding your relationship and the trust that goes along with it.

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@Easycheesy,

To be honest love, this is a typical male reaction when the man is under pressure.

Now my advise is very simple. Don't police anything. Create a genuine carefree and fun environment for you and your hubby, and if you see he embraces this change you are good, if he still daydreaming and looking for excuses to be alone and away from you, make your decisions.

And by decisions I mean the only two choices

A. Live with it. Don't try to find anything, just live with it as it is.
B. Move on.

I hate when people want evidence for something which is so obvious as being emotionally apart from each other. You know why people seek evidence? Because they hope they're wrong. They are never wrong though.

So save yourself from the frustration you ll get into if you try to play it a detective and confront the reality of your relationship.

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Cheating spouse, need advice!

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