I fear my boyfriend is bisexual. What are your thoughts?

He keeps saying that whenever I assume he's gay, ask his friends as they believe he is homophobic.

He may be bisexual or have bisexual leanings or he may not. One way or the other you have made him defensive about it with your "suspicion" and obvious disapproval.

Do you believe he is bisexual though, after reading this? I understand you do not know this person.

I honestly don't know. He is uncomfortable with the idea of bi and homosexuality. You say his friends would describe him as a homophobe. Some homophobes are that way because they fear what they suspect is inside them.

Geez- when did your lovemaking become a gymnastics competition?

No wonder there's performance anxiety on both of your parts.

You really are focused on him and his needs. How has it been for you?

He has never been able to make me cum because he never exactly tries with his own effort. He went down to give me oral once yet made a rude remark about the taste therefore it caused an argument. He apologised and mentioned it's because he's inexperienced and immature. Ever since then though he tells me that he wants to give me oral and please me. I will be seeing him in a few weeks so I will see how things go. He's very good in regards to kissing, yet focusing on me for foreplay, he's fairly "selfish"

Tell him to watch some videos on how to make love to a woman.

How old is this fella, anyways?

23.

23?

Nuf said.

He's still a kid whacking off under the covers.

Watch some videos together that show real people making love.

He's bisexual whether he admits it or not. You might have to consider "Sharing" him with a man at some point, because its clear despite your best efforts, you're not able to satisfy him. (That's on him, not you). You might need to invite a bisexual friend over, have a few drinks and see what happens. At the very least, you'll have some information that will allow you to make some long term decisions.

Hi Hunyul, I am not a member on here but found your post here rather synchronistically. So much to say, but I'll cut down most of it to stay brief. I'd like to ask what nationality you are and where you live if I may. Beyond that it feels to me from what you said and the way you described it that 1. he is bisexual 2. he knows and keeps it a secret because 3. he doesn't trust you because he feels you would judge him, not accept him, not support him. That makes him feel frustrated, he doesn't have the courage to be himself BECAUSE of you non-acceptence and CONDITIONAL love. A great part in this is his age which ties into a lot of things. If you love him you will accept him, try to understand him, support him, encourage him and be there for him no matter what, even help him uncover the scope of his "otherness". I would love to help more and I feel I could because of all the things I won't say right now to stay brief. A note, I may be all wrong, maybe he's not bi. I would love to help more, both of you could use more.

Threesome!! Why are these awesome situations wasted on the wrong people?

Wow....I like my wife to do the exact same things to me. Love it when she jerks me off from behind. She even fingered me once and an X-GF of mine pegged me with a strap on. I've been told many times I have an "anal fixation."

I'm very much bi sexual though. My wife has no idea and would be shocked. Though I think if she was honest with herself, she would like it. She's had bi-sexual experiences herself.

If he is the typical male he is probably masturbating twice a day and still open for having sex with you when you want. Likely he watches a lot of porn and has seen everything. Most all of it will peak a man's interest if he watches it enough.

The key is, how strong is your relationship. How much do you want to be with him in the long run. If you truly love each other, you should be able to talk through it. If he is not fully open, once in the bedroom play the dominant role and target his butt with your finger, then more fingers and then dildo and talk dirty to him about taking it and see how he responds. Maybe try a strapon.

It is quite possible he is bisexual or just curious or just a phase. You won't know until you probe into that area, his walls come down and you start to communicate for real.

He is most likely still in denial. I had a bf that I was suspicious of and he would not tell me until I told him I didn’t care

suspicious, that he is still your BF

hunyul1
Boyfriend mentioned he watches straight, male and woman porn however lesbian doesn't do anything for him.

GirlonFire
So I take it bisexual vids make him leak?

hunyul1
My boyfriend loves his own ass and loves me to spank/squeeze it during sex which I like to do as anything that turns him on, turns me on.

GirlonFire
So what’s the problem? I am not seeing it? Lots of people love their own a**es.

hunyul1
As a female however this is a bit of a blow to my femininity as no man should pay more attention to his own ass than a girl.

GirlonFire
Lol – well it’s the nature of the beast. I am multi multiorgasmic during dp. So what would I prefer to do the most? … DP, of course. My husband now knows that anal on him produces the most massive and multiorgasms on him. So what does he prefer? Anal or Dual anal and penal stimulation of some sort. You know, you like what you like and we all tend to like what feels the best, the most! So this is what we do for one another the most often.

hunyul1
He is constantly hard around me however. Whilst yes, he does compliment mine, generally speaking the attention is focused on his.

GirlonFire
Take the compliments of his hard on and his words. Accept them at face value.

hunyul1
Excuse me if I sound weird myself however I find it odd that my boyfriend loves me to give him hand/head and even loves to masturbate when he is in doggy position. Basically on knees, leaning forward with ass in the air. He loves me to go from behind. He also loves squatting which he finds pleasurable.

GirlonFire
A LOT of guys like showing off their a**es and even more their masturbation. My husband didn’t even realize how much it turned him on until I encouraged him to. He also loves to show it ALL off now. Our friends are the same way.

hunyul1
He finds it easiest to cum in those positions and of course during sex which is usually him on top but finds it hard to cum laying down on his back if I give him hand/head.

GirlonFire
My husband and our friend both say that lying on their backs is to relaxing of a position.

hunyul1
He has told me that masturbating in other positions is not effective and if that he just squats down, he cums very quickly. I've seen it before and he even flexes his feet so he's literally just balancing on his toes. When I have asked before, he tries to give me unreasonable explanations such as "gravity" which makes me even more puzzled.

GirlonFire
So? I don’t see the problem. Why do you care what positon he masturbates in if it works for him. BTW, what works for you? How do you get off the best when masturbating?

hunyul1
The issue is that it is interfering with our sex life. When we first met, he couldn't cum. It was only till after many tries of doing everything to please him, that he could cum inside yet he was still somewhat squatting, just penetrating this time.

GirlonFire
Soooo? Did you get pleasured? Why can’t he? What does it matter how?

hunyul1
He believes just refraining from masturbation itself will help.

GirlonFire
This is highly probable. The stimulation is extremely constant via hand. I am the same way, the more I diddle myself, the tougher it is for me to orgasm via oral (which I so love).

hunyul1
Every time since I have brought this to his attention, he plays with the idea and makes it into a joke.

GirlonFire
Sounds like you are making quite the mess of things. You are being quite annoying aren’t you?

hunyul1
He has never been able to make me cum because he never exactly tries with his own effort. He went down to give me oral once yet made a rude remark about the taste therefore it caused an argument. I will be seeing him in a few weeks so I will see how things go. He's very good in regards to kissing, yet focusing on me for foreplay; he's fairly "selfish."

GirlonFire
No wonder there's anxiety. Gheez! Sort of sounds like you wish he were bisexual, then you could get another guy to join in and possibly help please you???? For real though, what with your obsession with this? Do you care if he is bi? Do you want him to explore it? Do you want to explore it with him? Oh MY GOODNESS, I did and it ROCKS!

Louman
You might have to consider "Sharing" him with a man at some point, because it’s clear despite your best efforts, you're not able to satisfy him (and vice versa). (That's on him, not you). You might need to invite a bisexual friend over, have a few drinks and see what happens.

GirlonFire
I am in total agreement with Louman on this one! You will discover a lot about your own sexuality as well. You might even be as aroused by it as I am!!!

@hunyul1
I do not condone the hiding it/lying about it if he is... any more than I agree with you very likely having caused more issues for him, and making him f\defensive...
However, if he is aside from that, embrace it, explore it... it can and will open up a new world for you both.
My fiancee and I are both bi... we did know about it from the start, however... and we would welcome the opportunity to find a male, female or couple who are bi... We also have an agreement between us... that neither of us will "play" on the side... that we will only do anything together...
If he is hiding it, it is natural... very common... and you may have increased his anxieties about it. Consider trying to forgive him for that part. As I said, if he is, embrace it, explore it!