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Am I overreacting, or is he doing things behind my back?

 
 
katya07
 
Reply Thu 26 Jan, 2017 10:02 am
Hi Guys so my boyfriend (in his 30s) we have been together 2 years,he has never been the''social media''type of guy or at least that's what he told me, He said he does not like to take pictures,so one day during thanksgiving 2014 I remember being excited to take some pictures with him.but he just looked and acted awkward about it, He did not want to take pictures with me whatsoever,he refused,He said he did not like his pictures to be up on FACEBOOK,so I only took 2 and they came out blurry so I just erased them!, since that day I never asked him anymore to take a picture with me again, Now comes the weirdest part of all:

1-Out of curiosity a few weeks ago I asked him:''do you have a Facebook account'' cause I Found it really weird that he did not have one' and he Replied: '' yeah but its a fake one,its old and I don't use it''so I only had one of his emails at that moment(he has 2 emails) so I checked on Facebook with the email that I have of him,, and he was right it was an account with a fake name, no profile picture,no content whatsoever, Maybe it's private,(perhaps I don't know).

2-So one day he was writing his G-mail Address (which is his second email-which I Did NOT HAVE) I caught a glimpse and quickly wrote it down, so I did the same procedure,I went on Facebook, wrote the email on the search bar and guess what I found!!, another fake Facebook profile, this time with another fake name, but the same fake last name as the other fake account that I mentioned above, but this one in comparison to the other Facebook account, Has a REAL profile picture of him, its private, and I could not see his friend list, or anything,Facebook did suggest me 5 people that he is friends with, 4 of them I know from university and the other one I don't know,, So the question is which fake profile was he even referring to, since he said he had ONE(When I asked him he referred to it as being a single Fb profile) seems shady to me! What can possibly he be doing?
 
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Thu 26 Jan, 2017 02:51 pm
@katya07,
You don't have enough / haven't shared enough knowledge to be asking those questions yet:

- should you know about his email accounts? Many people have at least google and hotmail, and some have others, depending on which ISP's, browers, and other things they have used over the years. Some also use different accounts for different purposes, in order to better organise themselves.

- when was the last time he used his facebook accounts?

- just because he has a real profile picture, does not it a 'real' account. He is still used a fake name.

So if he's still using them, then he has lied to you. If not, then not. If he's not using them, then he's not 'doing' anything.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Fri 27 Jan, 2017 06:01 am
@katya07,
There's no trust. If my partner tried reading my emails it would be the end.
Medusax
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 28 Jan, 2017 08:18 am
@izzythepush,
Why? Do you have something to hide? I would have let my ex read my emails, look at my phone, etc. Because I had nothing worth hiding.
Tiger81
 
  2  
Reply Sat 28 Jan, 2017 09:44 am
@Medusax,
I have nothing to hide, but I do have an expectation of privacy. Its a matter of trust and respect. If you don;t have those, then you have nothing.. look at phone? texts and messages can be deleted or hidden.
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Sat 28 Jan, 2017 09:55 am
@katya07,
Why does any of that matter (other than your very bad behaviour)?

How does he treat you when you are together? do you enjoy being with him? do you laugh together?

__

stop snooping into his social media . I'm with izzy on this. I'd dump you for that snooping.

My partner and I share a computer. He has access to all of my accounts. He doesn't look into them. I don't look into his accounts. We're adults. We have a right to expect and have privacy.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Sat 28 Jan, 2017 10:31 am
@Medusax,
Of course I have something to hide, it's called privacy. People need their own space, just for them. The same is true as a parent, I've never snooped on their emails/diary either, which is one of the reasons we still get on.

The fact that you automatically assume that someone who wants their privacy has something to hide means you're not mature enough for a relationship.
0 Replies
 
Peg44
 
  0  
Reply Mon 30 Jan, 2017 06:07 am
@katya07,
If you've been in a relationship for 2 years and he refuses to take pictures with you, that's odd. Between that and the 2 FB accounts I see why you're worried. , but it may mean nothing. How serious are you two? Have you met all his friends and family? Any talk of marriage?
As far as the privacy issue- I think privacy is an issue when you are just dating. Once married it should all be open (usually people feel they need privacy when they have something to hide). For now you can either ask him about it or wait until you have more to go on.
WineNot
 
  -1  
Reply Mon 30 Jan, 2017 08:59 pm
@katya07,
I think the problem today is people hide too much from their partner. Between passwords and private accounts to have a totally secret life If he left the browser open on your iPad I think you had every right to look at it And question it. I'd keep searching.
0 Replies
 
vikorr
 
  3  
Reply Tue 31 Jan, 2017 12:24 am
@Peg44,
Quote:
As far as the privacy issue- I think privacy is an issue when you are just dating. Once married it should all be open (usually people feel they need privacy when they have something to hide)
I don't necessarily agree with the italicised part - it can mean that, but doesn't have to. Many people see privacy as a 'right', and a sign of trust, and perhaps for other reasons.

I personally put very little stock in it. Secrets are fine, govt / business not sharing your details should be a given, but otherwise...I don't care who knows my wage (irl), I don't care if what I say behind someones back is said to them (because I'd say it to their face), I know my neighbours, my windows are open to let light in, my phone doesn't have a pin code (I don't have an issue if any of my loved ones have my phone) etc

But I accept that other people feel differently about the issue. That said, some rather judgemental people on this site don't accept that others could have different values than them on this subject. Such shows up often in these forums. Each to their own, and find someone who is compatible on that score...would be a preferable outlook.
0 Replies
 
Rknight
 
  -1  
Reply Wed 1 Feb, 2017 04:36 pm
@katya07,
Yikes! I'm just going to put it out there. The only reason I can think of to make a fake Facebook profile is if you have the need to communicate with someone via messages and there is someone else that you don't want to know about the communication! The only reason that I can think of to have two fake profiles is if your communicating with two or more people that you don't want two or more people knowing about. As far as not wanting to take pictures together. It seems as if there is someone out there that might see the picture and find that they have been lied to. I'm sure you have thought about all this already. Trust your instincts! That's why you have them. And no I'm not trying to be mean about it. Just trying to give you reassurance useing those instincts. Hope it helps.
0 Replies
 
Rknight
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Feb, 2017 04:41 pm
@Tiger81,
I'm calling bulkshit on this one. Trust? How do you earn a dogs trust? You give them reassurance!
0 Replies
 
Iouman
 
  0  
Reply Mon 13 Feb, 2017 04:45 pm
@katya07,
Two lies in one day? That's not a keeper.
0 Replies
 
 

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