I'm beginning to hate my BF but I moved across the country for him and now I have nowhere to go.

Ok, so this is kind of a long, complicated, dramatic situation that I'm gonna try and condense as much as possible. Some background, my current BF and I have known each other since we were 14 (we are 33 now) and actually started kind of dating as teens but his family moved to the west coast (we lived in the east coast) so it didn't work out but we stayed best friends ever since first online and on the phone and once we were older actually visited but we were never single at the same time so nothing happened. Fast forward to last year, when my relationship with someone I loved very much ended suddenly and very violently when he got black out drunk, we had a fight and he fractured my skull, went to jail -he'd never been violent before, I'm still trying to process). My now BF (let's call him Thom) was my rock during the aftermath of everything. He had been single for two years after the girl he had been with and supporting for 10 years suddenly up and told him she'd been cheating and left him for the other dude. Needless to say he had been a mess after that relationship ended. So, after all the stuff happened with my ex he actually just flew to me to help. He paid for my lawyer, he was amazing emotional and financial support while I was hospitalized (I lost my job bc of the incident -I lived in a shitty "right to work" state and Thom comes from money and is also now independently wealthy). About a month after, it became romantic and it got serious kind of fast, especially for me who honestly have never been a LTR type girl (my ex was an anomaly; I'm always more about just having fun than being serious), but I guess all the trauma that had just happened and having been close for so long; I felt in love. We talked things out a lot because even though we have been best friends for so long, we are straight up opposites.
I'm outgoing, boisterous, random and a little messy, and what I really want out of life is to live the **** out of it while I can and make sure I had a blast doing it. I also have my flaws: I'm impulsive, I can be selfish, I can sometimes lack tact when expressing myself because I don't do "feelings" very well. In fact, I am prone to self destructive behavior sometimes when overwhelmed by feelings. I rather just go and party hard than really deal with things (I'm seeing a therapist now to help me with this, I know it's not healthy). He's a very type A person, super organized to the point where he has special times and specific ways to do things and cannot handle it if he doesn't follow it. Honestly, I think he has bit of OCD. Also, he doesn't drink or party in any way, he rather stay in and play video games. We don't even like the same tv shows! (which sounds petty but when you think about it, isn't what you're gonna Netflix with your SO sometimes the most important thing?) Whatever, we talked it all out, how it probably be bizarre but we came to the conclusion that we felt so strongly that we would be stupid not to try to be together. So he asked me to go back out West and move in with him since I don't have anyone anymore where I'm from (I had to cut ties with my mother because she has borderline personality disorder and was abusive and I've basically just been on my own since I was 17. The first month things were good but right off the bat our lifestyles clash: It really doesn't feel like my place still bc he's so particular about everything so I feel like I need to tone a lot of what I would usually do way down and still he feels the need to constantly "suggest" things for me to do his way or for me not to do things I usually do, and his OCD-ness has reached a level where now even just watching him and the very. *******. specific. way he brushes his teeth makes me internally scream. He won't ever let me open my own door which I find bizarre because I just don't understand it, and he knows this, but won't stop. The sex is now only kind of decent (he still finishes too quickly, and I'm really cool about it and we've tried different things to help but now it just feels like a chore to me and after only 6 months I feel that's just a bad sign). Due to more of his "strong suggestions" I'm still not working so I'm completely dependent on him (also a first for me) and I won't lie, it is very comfortable. When I bring up finding a job just to even have something to do it turns into a huge thing because "isn't he taking care of me well enough? I should just take this time and focus on getting healthy after all the **** that happens" and I end the conversation just agreeing with him somehow and it just all keeps going.
Now I came back east for an old friend's funeral this week (I've had a shitty year and then some) by myself and went out with some friends after the wake to our favorite bar to celebrate his life and tell stories, you know? In typical "me" fashion, I did not want to feel anything so alcohol was flowing freely and then I happened to strike up a conversation with an extremely hot dude who happened to also be wearing a Ramones tshirt and we hit it off and you can see where the story goes from there. I expected to wake up feeling like a piece of **** person for doing that but actually I feel guiltier of how not guilty I feel (to the point that I've been hanging out with this dude a lot since then bc he's definitely my kind of people and just really chill. I feel like myself for the first time in MONTHS.
So, obviously I'm not happy in my relationship but I feel like I cannot leave because of so many things: I have nowhere to go right now, I also don't want to be the asshole that crushes him after what he went through, I feel like I owe him after everything he's done.
Internet people. Please help me. What would you do??
(Thank you for reading this whole thing)