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Is it wrong to want to go after my FWB's friend?

 
 
Reply Mon 16 Jan, 2017 01:44 pm
My FWB and I are nothing serious. She has a boyfriend that she constantly pines for and told me plenty of times that I'm only good for sex. We've only known each other for about 6 days now but she keeps telling me that "I'm hers" and even went as far as to say if she could "collar" me she would. It's like a super territorial possessive kind of thing, not feelings-- she made it clear she'll never feel anything for me. Which is fine for me since I feel nothing for her.

But she introduced me to her friend and I really really like her. We exchanged numbers and have been talking and I can really see myself with her. She seems to like me too. Would it be wrong to go after her being that she's friends with my old FWB? My FWB talks crap about her sometimes and I wonder how close they really are but either way I can't say I care too much. I really see something with this girl and I want to try my luck. Is it wrong?
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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 936 • Replies: 10
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PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Mon 16 Jan, 2017 03:24 pm
Geez . . .

First stop playing games with your FWB. While you say you both don't "feel anything" ' for each other, your actions don't say that. So stop thinking with your sex organ and stop using other people.

THEN - you can let that other girl know that you are REALLY free enough to peruse another relationship. That shows respect for her.

Razorblade
 
  1  
Reply Mon 16 Jan, 2017 03:39 pm
@PUNKEY,
I'm sorry but I can't help but find it funny that you say I'm using her when she's very clearly using me. And I'm not currently pursuing the friend, we're just talking and I'm considering it.

Thanks for your response though.
nimh
 
  2  
Reply Mon 16 Jan, 2017 06:54 pm
@Razorblade,
Quote:
Would it be wrong to go after her


If you and your FWB have indeed been as clear as you suggest (explicitly, in words, not just through actions) to each other that you're only enjoying each other's sexual company and have no interest in any future romantic involvement, I don't think it would be wrong in any moral/ethical sense.

Complicated though, maybe.

If you really want to pursue odds of a relationship with this friend of hers, it would likely make things simpler to first cut off the FWB deal. Can think of two reasons:

- Thinking of your FWB: Even if no romantic feelings are involved, emotions can be unpredictable in any relationship, let alone in a situation that involves both the guy she's sleeping with and her friend. All the more so if she has a "super territorial possessive" side.

- Thinking of the other girl, if you think you might be serious about her, it probably doesn't help your chances if she knows you're currently sleeping with her friend; whereas it wouldn't really start things off on a good foot if she doesn't know and you'd keep the info from her.
Krumple
 
  1  
Reply Mon 16 Jan, 2017 07:21 pm
@Razorblade,
Razorblade wrote:

I'm sorry but I can't help but find it funny that you say I'm using her when she's very clearly using me. And I'm not currently pursuing the friend, we're just talking and I'm considering it.

Thanks for your response though.


If you feel nothing for her and you are considering hooking up with her friend then yes you are using her, for sex.

Which is what Punkey meant.
Razorblade
 
  2  
Reply Tue 17 Jan, 2017 12:56 pm
@nimh,
I've already stopped the "benefits" part of our FWB arrangement because of my interest in this girl. She knows that I was FWBs with her friend but she still seems to enjoy talking to me and whatnot, I'd like to think it's because she knows there was nothing between us but sex.

My FWB specifically told me "just letting you know, I'll never leave my boyfriend for you, I love him." So I'd like to think there's no interest lol.
Razorblade
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 Jan, 2017 01:45 pm
@Krumple,
We specifically met to use each other for sex though. (Tinder)
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 Jan, 2017 06:08 pm
Those kind of relationships don't ever work in the long run. You are finding that out.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 Jan, 2017 06:19 pm
@Razorblade,
Razorblade wrote:

I've already stopped the "benefits" part of our FWB arrangement because of my interest in this girl.


in a week you went from tindr to FWB to not FWB? cool

__

The thing that seems weird to me is that someone doing truly sex-only FWB was in a situation to introduce their **** buddy to someone else. That doesn't usually happen. Soméone's got whack boundaries. I suspect it might be your former **** buddy.

ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 Jan, 2017 06:21 pm
@Razorblade,
Razorblade wrote:

I've already stopped the "benefits" part of our FWB arrangement


in other words, you will not be seeing that person again. If there's no benefits, there's no FWB.
0 Replies
 
Razorblade
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 Jan, 2017 09:58 pm
@ehBeth,
Haha it's because her friend came over while I was there and it was just the polite thing to do.
0 Replies
 
 

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