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dumped by fwb - taking it a lot harder than I imagined

 
 
noided
 
Reply Sun 25 Jul, 2021 06:24 am
She's a friend of 12 years. We didn't speak often, but when we did it felt like two kindred souls reconnecting. We were supposed to be just friends with benefits. At least that was the proposition she contacted me with out of the blue, a good 2 months ago, after ending her 3 year long-distance relationship that turned ugly. I naively agreed. The sex and chemistry were incredible, conversations sincere and meaningful. It felt like putting in the last missing piece into our relationship. I fucked up and got careless. I began to develop feelings like an oblivious junky drugged out on lust and pheromones. She was stepping on all her emotional breaks not to.

A week ago she met someone from her town. He's kind, safe, normal. It feels healthy.

Me and her, we live in different parts of the country. She desperately craves some semblance of stability because she never had it. She recently found a job that she loves. It grounds her and it helps her with her anxiety. She said she always felt like a bird without a nest, constantly relocating, and that she's exhausted. Hearing that really touched me. She needs this now. For herself and for her child.

There remains great respect, attraction, and mutual love between us, but the trajectories of our lives at this point in time are irreconcilably missaligned. I asked her to let me know if she catches herself missing me and she promised me she would. I'm so deeply sad. I care about her so much and I wish her to be happy and fulfilled, but the thought of someone else caressing her soft, warm naked body, holding her close at night, breathing with her...it ******* kills me beyond words. It feels paralyzing. I'm moving on and focusing on myself, but I miss her so damn much and I just want this ******* pain to stop.
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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 487 • Replies: 6
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PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sun 25 Jul, 2021 07:08 am
@noided,
Sorry for the pain. You left the door open if she misses you.

Years ago there was a song called “ Fooled Around and Fell in Love.”

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Medusax
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Aug, 2021 01:36 pm
@noided,
That is the problem with fwb. That is also the problem with having "friends" of the opposite sex. Unless the other party is gay, someone is bound to "catch feelings", and it becomes a mess. I don't have any male "friends" except for one gay man. I have "acquaintances" at work with whom I have BS conversations but I don't see or talk to them outside of it.
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Aug, 2021 01:40 pm
@Medusax,
Rubbish. I have three very close lady friends who are just that, and have been for a very long time.

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Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Aug, 2021 01:45 pm
@Medusax,
I disagree that opposite sexes can't be friends. I've had some very, very good male friends with no complications at all.
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Aug, 2021 01:48 pm
@Mame,
I've had both situations - those where we were friends - even some that at one point or another hit on me - but we decided just to be friends and we were mature enough for that.

Had one though that just could not be friends - so sadly we parted ways.
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Medusax
 
  0  
Reply Fri 6 Aug, 2021 05:18 pm
@Mame,
Earlier on in life....I did too, or so I thought. Then one day, my cousin, who just happens to be a body builder, stopped me in the grocery store and said hello. I walked out with him, talking the whole way. Well, said "friend" happened to be driving by the store and saw us. I got a phone call later that was basically an interrogation. (Who was that muscle head; Yeah SURE he is your cousin,etc.) And, then I was of course a whore and a slut, etc. When other people heard the story, they simply said, "This surprises you? " Yes, it DID. There was nothing between us and never would be. We made that "clear" (???). He never even hit on me! To add...we didn't even see each other that much. For the most part people just chuckled and told me I was either blind or completely insensitive.
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