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Boyfriend talking to a female''friend''something feels off?suspicious!!

 
 
katya07
 
Reply Sun 1 Jan, 2017 08:54 pm
About almost TWO years ago, my boyfriend who is 37 asked me (28y/o) to do him a favor and to please call his female ”friend” to give her an address (which I looked up and it happened to be of a lawyer as far as I can remember). He wanted ME to do it because the woman’s husband is somehow violent,and jealous even of his own shadow, so basically it seemed to me that this woman in in some sort of abusive or toxic relationship she has 2 children with this man, and supposedly this man has even been in jail in the past, so my bf wanted me to do him the favor of calling her, Just in case the husband picked up the phone out of rage, that way he would think I was just her friend, and would not put her in any danger,,,this man had even called my boyfriend numerous time at midnight to tell him to not engage in conversations with his wife. and also smashed his wife’s computer for talking to much on Facebook and so on.

So 5 days ago,after almost 2 years of not mentioning her whatsoever after that favor he asked me to do, he mentions me this women AGAIN!! and the fact that now she is contacting him because she has ”suicidal” thoughts that she can handle it anymore because she is not happy with her life.., so he was emailing her back trying to talk her out of it,and told me that she is a long time friend and he is concerned of her doing something crazy or wanting to kill herself, But I don’t know what can possibly be going on here that after almost 2 years he mentions me this women again!!! I am very suspicious whether this can be a lover,an ex,What do you think can be happening?I don’t want to be played. gives me a weird vibe.
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Mon 2 Jan, 2017 08:32 am
@katya07,
Well, the whole thing is weird, isn't it? I mean, trying to help a person in need. Isn't that suspicious?

Note: sarcasm filter is now off.

And I'm sorry as I admit I was being flip there. He doesn't mention this woman 24/7 to you so, naturally, there would be some time in between mentionings. He only seems to get involved in her life when she's in dire need. So he might feel the need to be something of a white knight. Which is usually kinda misplaced (and in the case of the nasty husband, downright dangerous).

Both of those situations called for professionals, yet your boyfriend decided to handle them both on his own. Being a friend is one thing, but the nasty husband is the reason why cops exist, and the woman being suicidal is why psychiatrists exist.

His best bet is to urge her to seek counseling. It would be better for her, anyway, to work with an actual professional and not unfairly lean on her friends and put them into a situation way above their pay grades. And it would get him to start breaking the cycle of riding in on his white charger. He might want to get a little counseling himself, in order to see why he's doing this.

But no, I don't think he's cheating or anything of the sort. And I don't think she's trying anything, either.
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Jan, 2017 03:08 pm
I agree. Your husband is not a therapist, so tell him that the best thing he can do is to provide her with phone numbers to a suicide line or hospital. No way should be think he is a rescuer or responsible for what she does.

If this persists, then become his surrogate, i.e. his phone voice, and talk with her for a few minutes in a sympathetic way. That way, she will know that you two are a TEAM and she has to go thru you to get to him.

Be the better person here, just for the benefit of the doubt.
katya07
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 Jan, 2017 08:16 am
@PUNKEY,
Hi, he's my boyfriend not husband LOL, but You know I am starting to wonder if due to his ADHD he made up all of this story,to make me jealous or see me react towards it. cause it all sounds weird. like it does not add up or make sense,so maybe since he can be freaking childish and spoiled for a 37 year old man,maybe he invented all of this.But I don't know really.
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katya07
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 Jan, 2017 08:28 am
@jespah,
Hi, he's my boyfriend not husband LOL, but You know I am starting to wonder if due to his ADHD he made up all of this story,to make me jealous or see me react towards it. cause it all sounds weird. like it does not add up or make sense,so maybe since he can be freaking childish and spoiled for a 37 year old man,maybe he invented all of this.But I don't know really.
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 Jan, 2017 08:58 am
You know this guy better than I do - so if you suspect that this is all a ploy to get your attention, or is an impulsive action due to adult ADHD, then you can deal with it.

He may be an attention addict and has to have a "crisis" in his life all the time. Exhausting!!
katya07
 
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Reply Tue 3 Jan, 2017 09:27 am
@PUNKEY,
@punkey, exactly, that was the word I was looking for seeking for attention, yes it is childish,spoiled and god knows what else, I am 28 maybe I am too young for all this BS .and should reconsidered the relationship.just saying!
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