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Why won't my pants stay up? I wear 'em just like everyone else! What?

 
 
Reply Fri 30 Dec, 2016 06:22 pm
Trouser manufacturers make pants to be worn below the butt cheeks, but they won't stay up. Why is that? I mean they've had centuries to figure out how to make pants right, haven't they? I'm tired of cops and old ladies pointing out that my pants are down around my ankles again. I mean, yes, it saves time having them down already, but I'm seriously considering wearing a long rain coat to keep my junk covered. The problem I foresee with this plan is the coat will be in the way sometimes, like when I want to get my wallet out to pay the cashier girl. I wouldn't want anyone to become unduly alarmed if they see me fumbling under my coat. So I have come up with a couple possible ways to handle that. One is to first say, "Hold on, while I take it out!" Then I'd pull my coat open quickly, so as not to waste her time making her wait. The other possibility could save even more time because it only takes one word. I say simply: "Huzzah!" when I pull my coat open. Is this a good plan? *sigh* details, details...
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Fri 30 Dec, 2016 06:33 pm
@Mr PantsFellDown,
It's an awesome plan. Let us know if you get wifi in Sing Sing.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  3  
Reply Fri 30 Dec, 2016 06:55 pm
@Mr PantsFellDown,
Well - There was this goat that ate the seat out of pants I had hanging out to dry. Wearing them I could show off my underwear while cinching my belt tight. It made me very popular in school. You might want to invest in suspenders and a pair of scissors.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  2  
Reply Sun 1 Jan, 2017 06:05 pm
My brother in law, Hildegarde, as I will call him for the purposes of this post, is jealous of my ingenious solution. He, as do you, runs around with his pants at his ankles. Which looks ridiculous, as he wears tightie whities.
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 Jan, 2017 07:18 pm
Hate to ruin all this by being serious, but the various 'ratchet' belts seem to be really good. The buckles are extremely heavy and the belts seem uniformly low quality, but they work really good.
0 Replies
 
 

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