Talking Stick
The key to marriage survival is effective communication. Fighting is the thing that rips relationships to shreds. I suggest a "talking stick" (or safer yet, a "talking pillow.")
Perhaps engrave the rules for effective communication on the "talking stick" or embroider the rules on the "talking pillow." Or perhaps you could put together an instruction manual on effective communication and how to use the effective communication talking stick/pillow. The spouse holding the stick or pillow is allowed to talk (express his her feelings in a non-threatening manner) while the other must listen . . .
If you put together an "instruction manual," you could find several articles on "effective communication" to include in the manual. If the engaged couple would read the manual together, they will be miles ahead of other couples who are contemplating the walk down the aisle.
If you google "talking stick," you will find many websites concerning effective communication. Here's one:
Are you communicating?
Quote:Excerpt:
"Many Native American tribes use a unique way of communicating. No, I'm not talking about sending smoke signals. I'm referring to the use of a Talking Stick. Only the person holding the Talking Stick is allowed to speak. This is very useful at a tribal "board" meeting because arguing is kept to a minimum then, and each person has one job to do - Listen - unless s/he has the Talking Stick. . . .
LISTEN, PAUSE, CLARIFY AND VALIDATE
OUR ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY is one of the most precious skills we can develop. Most of the time when we think of communicating well, we think of effectively expressing ourselves. This is certainly important, but listening is the single most important of all communication skills. It's what Stephen Covey calls "Seek first to understand and THEN to be understood."
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