What things do you look for in a mate?

In my own case, I am paired with the smartest man I could find, who loves opera and classical music, who has a droll sense of humor, who is a great cook and an avid amateur gardener. I'm predisposed to stumbling around flailing with the uncertainty of one half taught, and he likes to play Henry Higgins, and teach me better, more efficient ways of handling the things I struggle with. I appreciate his efforts, have tended to agree with his positions on ethics and philosophy. He is willing to rethink things if I have a different opinion, has been flexible on points of preference without any real reason making one way better than another. And we find each other attractive and can make each other laugh and feel that the other is watching our backside. As far as I'm concerned, I finally found my perfect match!

Well, I look for someone whom I can talk with about the things I am interested in and enjoys doing some of the things I enjoy, someone with similar education who's accomplishments I can respect so that I don't look down on her and so that she doesn't look up to me, someone who values my strengths and makes me feel special, who's intelligent, opinionated and original enough that she I won't win every argument, who is sexually experimental and at least somewhat cute. I certainly haven't dated anyone who meets more than one of these criteria, though...

princess, it sounds like you have found a good man. I'm happy for you!

#1 - must be a Christian
#2 - share the same basic beliefs as myself as far as raising a family, our roles as a man/woman and husband/wife, believe in JOY (Jesus First, Other's Second, You Last)
#3 - must be a family person and want kids (2-legged and 4-legged)
#4 - no drugs, no smoking
#5 - has to make me laugh, has to know how to laugh back

...and I won't lie, security is very important to me. I have to be with someone who I feel can take me under their wing. Someone who is smarter than me, who I respect, and who I feel keeps striving for new bigger goals. I couldn't marry someone who isn't always wanting to improve their life and/or themselves.

There are more things such as loyality, tons of patience, and the ability to FORGIVE.

He also must like football. I don't know why, just have never been attracted to men (romantically) who didn't.

That's my list.

hahaha!

so just out of curiosity, would it be permissable if he didn't like football but was big into some other macho sport?

hmm. The only men I've met who didn't like football, considered tennis a macho sport.

Now I love tennis, but don't consider it an approved alternative to Sat afternoon, Sunday, and Monday night tv-viewing.

I find it interesting Joahaeyo, that you stipulate your partner must be Christian. I have no real religion myself, but I think I would be happy to have a partner who was religious, as long as they didn't expect me to conform to their veiws. Can you explain why you said that? (I'm not taking the piss, but just very curious. Thanks.)

What things do you look for in a mate?

...and I think your choice can work out too, just not for me. I even think it can work out if a Christian dates a non believer, but from my perspective ....why make things more difficult than you have to?

Everything I stand for, what I believe, how I view things, and my goals in life are centered by my desire to fulfill God's will. If we have nothing in common at all, something that brings us both to a natural high, such as an undying hobby, what then can we hold on to when and if we reach a point where we've got nothing to "share" with one another?

I may not want to take part in his love (example: fishing) and he may not want to volunteer at the pound (my passion), and each time we talk about our favorite thing in the world, the other shrugs it off. ...or inside you know they want to care about what you love deeply, but just don't share the interest as deeply as you. This burns a small hole in you since what you love is so dear to you, and eventually you invest less time to this hobby b/c you have no one to share it with. What you have wanted to do your entire life. The one thing that will never fade between us, the one thing we will always have in common is our love for God. It's the one topic we can bring up or go to .....to find peace, hope, and "Renewal."


And to answer your question further:

http://www.carm.org/questions/yoked.htm

Thank you J. Your answer has answered a lot of questions, and also given me a lot to think about. I once tried to date a girl who was a regular church-goer, but something always seemed to hold her back. Perhaps I now know the reason.

For an agnostic or atheist such as myself (I swing from one to the other), it can be hard to understand just how much impact their God(s) have on a religious person.

Princess - good question. I think I am not to fine-tuned as to what I want in a mate. It's something I need to think about.

Still formulating...

On a purely physical level, I would look for a woman who was neither taller nor heavier than I, although at 5'11" and 170lbs I have a fairly large section of the female populace to choose from. But that's not to say that a woman who impressed me and fell outside those parameters would be out of the question. I'll take love wherever I find it, irrespective of size or shape.

me too. I don't feel comfortable if a guy is skinnier than me. I'm already thin, so snuggling next to needle wouldn't make me feel too secure. I usually don't mind dating men shorter than me either (within reason) if they are stocky boys.

First & foremost, he's gotta like cats! :wink:

Hooters

The religion question is a killer to some relationships - Others it doesn't bother. Years ago (years and years and years, actually) I loved a girl who made the mistake of loving me back before she discovered I am an atheist. We were semi-engaged when she demanded that I begin attending church. It was an unhappy, lingering break-up. Today I am married to a Christian, but she doesn't tell me what to think and I don't tell her. We have never had a single religious oriented argument in twenty-six years of marriage.

Me?

Must be funny
Must be Sexy..
Must be easygoing
Not to harsh, but has a firm opinion
Not a pushover.
Doesnt drink or smoke or do drugs.
Sucsessfull in life
Someone that will always make me have butterflys in my stomach when im around him.

I still haven't figured that out yet.