Too Much and Never Enough by Mary Trump
P. 42-44
Abuse can be quiet and Insidious just as often as, or even more often than, it is loud and violent. As far as I know, my grandfather [Fred (Freddy's and Donald's father)] wasn't a physically violent man or even a particularly angry one. He didn't have to be; he expected to get what he wanted and almost always did. It wasn't his inability to fix his oldest son that infuriated him, it was the fact that Freddy simply wasn't what he wanted him to be. Fred dismantled his oldest son by devaluing and degrading every aspect of his personality and his natural abilities until all that was left was self-recrimination and a desperate need to please a man who has no use for him.
The only reason Donald escaped the same fate is that his personality served his father's purpose. That's what sociopaths do: they co-opt others and use them towards their own ends-- ruthlessly and efficiently, with no tolerance for dissent or resistance.
Fred destroyed Donald, too, but not by snuffing him out as he did Freddy; instead, he short-circuited Donald's ability to develop and experience the entire spectrum of human emotion. By limiting Donald's access to his own feelings and rendering many of them unacceptable, Fred perverted his son's perception of the world and damaged his ability to live in it. His capacity to be his own person, rather than an extension of his father's ambitions, became severely limited. The implications of that limitation became clearer when Donald entered school. Neither of his parents had interacted with him in a way that helped him make sense of his world, which contributed to his inability to get along with other people and remained a constant buffer between him and his siblings. It also made reading social cues extremely difficult, if not impossible, for him-- a problem he has to this day.
Ideally, the rules at home reflect the rules of society, so when children go out into the world, they generally know how to behave. When kids go to school, they're supposed to know that they shouldn't take other children's toys and they're not supposed to hit or tease other children. Donald didn't understand any of that because the rules in the house, at least as they applied to the boys-- be tough at all costs, lying is okay, admitting you're wrong or apologizing is weakness-- clashed with the rules he encountered at school. Fred's fundamental beliefs about how the world worked-- in life, there can be only one winner and everybody else is a loser (an idea that essentially precluded the ability to share) and kindness is weakness-- were clear. Donald knew, because he had seen it with Freddy, that failure to comply with his father's rules were punished by severe and often public humiliation, so he continued to adhere to them even outside of his father's purview. Not surprisingly, his understanding of right and wrong would clash with the lessons taught in most elementary schools.
@coldjoint,
150,000 deaths from the trump flu are not hypnosis. what are you smoking?
@MontereyJack,
hes trying to avert our focused gaze away from bioscience. These people all died from mass hysteria coupled with acute Friznoid Plebny.
@farmerman,
damn, i thought it might be Plebny.
@MontereyJack,
MontereyJack wrote:150,000 deaths from the trump flu are not hypnosis. what are you smoking?
Mr. Trump didn't cause those deaths. The Democrats are the ones who disrupted the government with a sham impeachment throughout the first month of the pandemic.
@oralloy,
so thats your excuse story ?? Trump didnt do squat because he was being tried in a trial of which we already knew the verdict, because it was announced by the Senate Leadership that theyd never vote to convict
@oralloy,
And we've nowhad six months that he's had no excuse for not doing anything and it's just getting worse and killing more people and he still is doing jackshit about it except whining that no one trusts him.
@farmerman,
I'm not excusing the Democrats. I'm condemning them for killing 150,000 Americans and wrecking the economy.
@coldjoint,
Problem is, the science says going to school is good for kids, but the science also says t canm kill them, or they can be asymmptomatic and kill theii parents or grandparents. The question is which is more important. And your aide has spent years trying to convince us that schools are brainwashing our kids, and home schooling was infinitely better because it meant parents could brainwash them instead. It's a little hard for you to change course now, particularly with betsy devos as education secretary, who hates public education anywy.
@oralloy,
Trump hads had seven months now with no "distractions"and he's done nothing to save american lives. That's why americans trust fauci over trump more than two to one. that's why it's clear trump's unrelenting push to reopoen too soon was a disaster. That's why trummp is down by double digits.
@coldjoint,
like pretty much all your posts, that's wrong. google it and see.
